Kanye West and Daft Punk - Stronger

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Prince plans to give away his new album for free on the cover of the Mail On Sunday (an odd choice, but what the heck). This has thrown the record shops into a frenzy of hatred. "It would be an insult to all those record stores who have supported Prince throughout his career," said the co-chairman of the Entertainment Retailer's Association.

I'm slightly baffled that Prince should feel any obligation to these people, whose principle role in his career has been to fleece £5 off the price of his albums to line their own pockets. Am I missing something?

Here are some photos of Lindsay Lohan not looking pissed or stoned. Bryan Adams clearly has great timing.

Listen to Tom Baker having a strop and doing a swear while he records the voice-over for an ad:

Janet Jackson is recording her new album with the Neptunes. Is it too much to ask that it isn't a steaming pile of dog-shit like the last one? Probably, yes.

Favourite headline of the week? Stab victim 'continued masturbating'

TMZ got hold of Paris Hilton's prison canteen request form. If I am ever sent to jail - and there are many, many reasons why I should be - I want to go to one where a servant goes to the canteen to get you emery boards. Wonder what the vaseline was for?

On a related note, here is Hilton's non-disclosure agreement.

Charlie Booker on losing his Glastonbury virginity: "At 3am a group of post-pubescent upper-middle-class music-industry gitsacks pitched their tent beside mine, and no power on Earth could make them stop braying witless bullshit at the top of their idiot lungs. One of them had a bassoon."

Hooray! Amy Winehouse is releasing my second-favourite song from her Back To Black album... Here's the video:

Amy Winehouse - Tears Dry On Their Own


Right, I'm buggering off to France for a week. See you when I get back!

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Noooooooooooooo!

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Hi, I'm Gordon but my friends call me G

...Much to my disappointment, the Spice Girls reunion didn't quite manage to trump Gordon Brown's cabinet reshuffle on the BBC's news website yesterday (Gordon got 1.8m readers, the Spices came a distant second with 820,000).

But I was impressed with how Newsround explained the new PM to "da kids". If Gordon had a social networking profile, they said, it would look like this (click to enlarge):



Shame they couldn't do it for real.

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Spice Girls!!!!!!! etc

OMG!!!1 I was at the Spice Girls press conference today. Some initial observations:

Mel C still seems reluctant about the whole reunion, no matter what she says.

Geri is pleasantly mental. "I've got a gun," she 'joked' at one point. Try saying that at airport security, Halliwell.

Victoria Beckham is going to have to get used to being the strong, silent one all over again.

But she has fabulous trousers this time round.

Emma said she phoned the other girls and said "I want to be a Spice Girl again". What she didn't tell us is that she was wearing her pink Baby Spice dress and sobbing quietly into a cheesecake at the time.

With the exception of Mel C, everyone's boobs are massive, man.

I was abnormally excited by the whole affair, and slightly disappointed when Geri failed to chat me up.

(PS you can read my official report on the whole shebang here)

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Ode to Jonathan Glazer

Jonathan Glazer,
You directed the video for
Virtual Insanity
But most of your work is
Virtual Inanity
Do you see what I did there?

Music videos are not short films
For people who read the Guardian
So why do you insist on ruining
perfectly good songs
By interrupting them with talky bits
And...





Dramatic pauses?
(like that one)

Harold Pinter you are not
And Sexy Beast is over-rated claptrap
...Just because you made Ghandi say fuck
Doesn't make it a good film
You muppet

Your video for Unkle's new single
Burn My Shadow
Is a case in point
But Goran Visjinc takes off his shirt in it
So mrsdiscopop will be quite happy
About that

Thank you




NB: I have no proof that Jonathan Glazer directed this video, but he bears responsibility for it anyway, okay?

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