Inifinite waste of time

I have scoured the internets and found these things. Have fun.

:: An amazing collection of firework photographs choreographed to MGMT's really rather good Kids' song.

Fireplays from Jon Thomas on Vimeo



:: Could Batman exist in real life?
[Scientific American]

:: Maggie Gyllenhaal, does us an interview.
[Onion AV Club]

:: How making banal decisions like choosing what clothes to wear tires your brain out for the really important questions, like cake or death.
[Scientific American]

:: A free song from Amy Winehouse's flatmate!!!!!!1eleven, etc
[Popjustice]

:: Make spaghetti out of pick-up sticks and rubick's cubes
[Youtube]

:: This appears to be for real - an inexplicably coarse sex education lecture in the style of a Ladybird book courtesy of, er, Scotland's National Health Service.


"Shona has a banana in her lunchbox.
She shows Kirstie what she'd like to do to Tam if she had the chance."
[Be Books Online]

:: Roisin Murphy talks about recording a new album. Let's hope someone buys this one.
[Arjan Writes]

:: Find out what happened when I met the Pussycat Dolls (well, spoke to one of them on the phone)
[BBC]

:: How many of us are aware that when we look into a mirror we see an image on the mirror surface that is exactly half life size?
[New York Times]

:: Finally, is this really how three-year-olds deal with monsters these days?

Monsters!

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Month old flop single news

It's been a relatively quiet day today, and still I haven't managed to track down any new music worth writing about.

I'm quite excited about the new Bond theme - from the combined genius of Jack White and Alicia Keys - but I can't find a decent Keys / White Stripes mash-up to iluustrate what it might sound like. My own attempt at making a No-One vs My Doorbell montage was a KFC family bucket of wrong.

I had more luck writing a quiz on previous Bond themes for my real job(yes, they actually pay me for this stuff). You can test your knowledge over here.

In the meantime, I stumbled across a new blog by the name of Hard Candy Music and while drilling down through their old posts, I came across a story that made my 80s cheese antenna prick up.

It concerns Denise Lopez, a floptastic US singer with Paula Abdul aspirations signed to A&M Records in the latter half of the Thatcher decade. She had precisely no hits, but one of her tracks - Don't You Wanna Be Mine - is regarded as a classic of the vocal house scene (think Ce Ce Peniston with Finally or Clivilles and Coles with A Deeper Love).

The song is still a staple of many DJ sets (Sasha is a big fan) and it's been given a fresh workover by the likes of Bimbo Jones and Soul Avengerz for the 2008 Ibiza crowds. It came out a month ago to complete indifference, but it's worth downloading the iTunes EP simply to get hold of the original C&C Music Factory remix which, in the parlance of the time, is "dope, yo".

Denise Jones - Don't You Wanna Be Mine (Bimbo Jones mix)


Denise Lopez - Don't You Wanna Be Mine (original single)


If anyone has some up-to-date tips, for the love of god let me know in the comments box.

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Here be monsters

Well, it seems traditional summer music drought has officially started. All the good albums are being squeezed dry, with so-so singles attempting eking out the few remaining sales. Meanwhile, the record companies are throwing out weak singles by one hit wonders (Natty, Little Jackie, I'm talking about you) in an attempt to clear the decks before the autumn.

Today's video falls firmly into the former cateogory, as US indiepoppers We Are Scientists schelp out the third single from their actually-quite-good Brain Thrust Mastery album.

Impatience is it's name and - as with the band's last two videos - it is notable more for the presence of furry creatures than actual melody or songcraft.

We Are Scientists - Impatience

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Do not watch this while eating lunch

Word up, it's the new Gnarls Barkley video and it's gruesome, gory, gigglesome, groovy, gross, and other words beginning with the letter "g".

Gnarls Barkley - Who's Gonna Save My Soul?

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New band: Scarlettes

In our more realistic moments, we have to acknowledge that Girls Aloud and Sugababes are nearing the end of their "shelf life" (nb: this doesn't mean that their boobs are starting to sag, although that's inevitable, too).

What we need is a hopeful set of young replacements waiting to steal their pop crown. But, at the time of writing, there doesn't seem to be anyone willing or able to step up to the plate.

Unless you count the Saturdays, which we don't.

However, yesterday we read on the Popjustice forums stumbled across a new three-piece called Scarlettes, who may find pop ubiquity within their grasp. Here is what they look like:



Reasons why they could be big:
1) Photograph is a step-by-step illustration of how to use hair curlers.
2) Genre-smashing mix of girl band pop and dance music.
3) Have attitude of early Bananarama.

Reasons why they might flop spectacularly:
1) Photograph looks like three Primark models caught in a freak hurricane.
2) Unique dance-pop blend already perfected by Freemasons and Beyonce.
3) Have attitude of late-period Atomic Kitten.

The Scarlettes are currently "being developed", so their career could head down either one of those two routes. If you want to take an early listen, a medley of their demos is available on the Myspaces.

And here is a clip of the band singing over Eric Prydz's Pjanoo. (Warning: may result in waving of glow-in-the-dark sticks and blowing of rave whistles).

Scalettes vs Eric Prydz - Pjanoo Fever

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LL Cool J ruins childhood for everyone

Now, this is simply not on.

While every other guest star on Sesame Street uses their performance to spread good will, basic maths, triangle recognition and, er, footwear to the masses, LL Cool J goes and spoils it all with needless profanity.



All Elmo wanted him to do was add one and one together.

Oh, wait...

Watch the clip on Youtube (youtube)

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