Eurovision - pick of the lyrics

I'm off to Helsinki for the Eurovision Song Contest next week - for work, I hasten to add. I'm not entirely sure what to expect... I hear it's run with ruthless efficiency, and that the fans - most of whom are already there - are a little bit on the psycho nutjob side of sanity. Perhaps I'll end up with the same fixed grin as the two hosts Mikko Leppilampi and Jaana Pelkonen (that's them on the right).

What I have been able to ascertain in advance is the quality of th music. There actually seems to be quite a high standard, given past form. Cyprus, Georgia, Sweden and Finland all have fairly acceptable songs. The less said about the UK's entry - which is one long, tedious knob gag - the better.

But, of course, the main joy of Eurovision is the lyrics. This year sees a paucity of nonsense words (diggy-loo, diggy-lay anyone?!) but there are still some corking attempts to mangle the English language. Here are my favourites so far...


BULGARIA - Elitsa Todorova & Stoyan Yankoulov / Water
Lo, a reckless lad, leading a pony

GERMANY – Roger Cicero / Frauen Regier'n Die Welt
When I found out she wanted to save the environment
I sewed "No thanks" on my parka

ISRAEL - Teapacks / Push The Button
The world is full of terror
If someone makes an error
He's gonna blow us up to biddy biddy kingdom come

FRANCE - Les Fatals Picards / Love The French Way
I am looking for you in the streets
I didn't come because you aren't there any more

CZECH REPUBLIC - Kabát / Little Lady
Behind the railway is her nest
She collects coins from fountains
And then she puts them on the tracks
She's building herself a temple, a bridge made of tin
Already being crossed by the first passenger
So that his legs won't hurt


UKRAINE - Verka Serduchka / Dancing Lasha Tumbai
Hello everybody!
My name is Verka Serduchka
Me English don't understand!
Let's speak DANCE!

Seven, seven, bye-bye
Seven, seven, one, two
Seven, seven, bye-bye
One, two, three

[You can read lyrics from every year of the Eurovision at The Diggiloo Thrush]

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