Not an interview with Mutya Buena

Q: Hi, Mutya, how are you?
A: I'm great. No complaints.

Q: Tell us a little bit about the album. What was the concept?
A: Basically, I wanted to take everything I'd achieved with the Sugababes and piss it up the wall.

Q: You've gone for a very mellow, laid-back sound. What was the inspiration?
A: People know me from songs like Freak Like Me and Red Dress and I'm not that kind of girl - flirty and outspoken and all that stuff, you know? I wanted the music to show the real me and the real me is basically very, very boring.

Q: There's a big R&B influence, isn't there?
A: Oh yes. I love R&B. But not that stuff you hear in the charts - you know, with the tunes. I was going for something really bland and insipid with no character or melody - like a Simply Red album. I'm really proud of it, actually.

Q: Is Mick Hucknall a big influence, then?
A: Absolutely, yes! I love all those acts - Simply Red, UB40, Dido... You can put on one of their albums and get on with the housework and when its over you've barely noticed the CD has stopped. That's my sort of music, right there.

Q: What was it like working with Amy Winehouse?
A: We're like kindered spirits. I wanted to hook up with her from the minute I saw her first. Like me, she's completely disfigured an otherwise attractive face with a grotesque piercing on her lip. I love her like my own mother - who's a complete bitch, by the way.

Q: And George Michael?
A: He's hilarious! Always getting up to pranks and japes. This one time, he downed a whole bottle of prescription drugs and took me out for a drive. We ended up fast asleep near Hyde Park and George dreamt he had this totally surreal conversation with a horse dressed up like a policeman. Best night ever!

Q: Finally, what's your favourite colour?
A: Black. But on a really, really happy day, it's brown.

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