Mars attacks

There is nothing subtle or understated about the new record by 30 Seconds To Mars (henceforth to be referred to as 30STM, or simply "~"). It opens with the sound of a lone hawk. It ends with a choir of thousands, recorded in eight separate countries. It is so epically HUGE that "~" could rebrand themselves Mr Big if the name hadn't already been taken.

The lyrics are massively important, too. It's all about man's fall from grace and Jared Leto's hopes for spiritual redemption. This sort of blether is usually the preserve of Saint Bono, and "~" have cunningly hired U2 producers Steve Lilywhite and Flood to construct a grandiose windswept soundscape around their dopey clichés. Close your eyes and it could actually be U2. Open your eyes and it's a much more enticing prospect - They all have their own hair! No-one thinks they're Jesus! Jared Leto is easier on the eye than blinking!

If you're thinking "this sounds more self-important than Jeremy Clarkson, on a throne, in the middle of Picadilly Circus, reading his autobiography through a loudhailer to his own reflection", you'd be right. It's massively, ludicrously pompous. The video is nine minutes long, for heaven's sake. Yes, the director tries to temper this by using a pseudonym (Bartholomew Cubbins) that he's ripped out of a Dr Seuss book - but he spoils all that by having a credit sequence that lasts three enitre minutes.

Nonetheless, in a year that has been sadly bereft of big, stupid rock songs you can sing at the top of your voice in the car*, this is the track we've been waiting for.

30 Seconds To Mars - Kings And Queens


** My favourite musical genre

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