Still the one

A friend of mine had her first child this week. She was in labour for 42 hours... slowly and painfully pushing out a massive nine-and-a-half pounds baby boy. For eye-watering reference, that's about the same as a medium-sized bowling ball.

Somehow, I can't imagine Beyoncé suffering anything half as painful. When the time comes, she'll give a polite cough and a perfectly-formed toddler will magically appear, plump and laughing, on a lilac-scented bed of silk. There won't be any sweat, or enemas, or epidurals, or screaming, or blood. Jay-Z, Beyoncé and their new-born will just sit there, quietly being awesome together.

For now, though, Beyoncé's still up the duff and making frighteningly athletic music videos. Here's the latest - for Countdown - which is a love letter to Mr Shaun Carter. If we'd been paying attention when the album came out, this would have given the whole pregnancy "secret" away long before the MTV Awards: "I'm trying to make a three from our two. He's still the one."

Beyoncé - Countdown

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