Cheryl gives precisely zero damns

"Waking up diagonal like an animal" has to qualify as the year's oddest opening couplet. But, I'll tell you what, Cheryl Fernandez-Versini doesn't want to know what you think about it, muggins. In fact, she's written a whole song* about how much of a crap she doesn't give.

"I don't care," she sings. "I don't care (about your underwear)."

Of course not - but those might as well be the lyrics. I Don't Care is all about Cheryl shrugging off other people's criticisms and opinions. She even gets in a little jibe at those who carped she'd rushed into her second marriage:

"Everyone is saying now, just slow it down.
Or I'll get hurt again, oh yeah.
When these things are feeling me(??), it's healing me.
And I'm screaming I don't care."

Sadly, the song's lacklustre backing track doesn't convey the fire and brimstone of the lyrics. It's good enough to give her another number one - but there's part of me that still hopes Cheryl will someday release a single that stops everyone dead in their tracks and makes them go "oh, holy shit" (but in the good way).

Listen below...

Cheryl - I Don't Care

* with a little help from Bonnie McKee, Jocke Ahlund and John Newman

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