Video breakdown: Gwen Stefani

If I'm not mistaken, this is an awful migraine of a video.

Let's have a look "in detail".

:: Opening scene: Gwen is posing for a classy magazine or something. We can tell it's classy because it's black and white. But - heavy symbolism alert - the black and white also tells us Gwen is down in the dumps about her lying boyfriend, whom she will discuss at length over the next three minutes.

:: Suddenly, Gwen is swept away in a cyclone of her lyrics, which must be terribly inconvenient. The cyclone whisks her to a garish technicolor CGI-scape and deposits her atop a big yellow road. Essentially, then, this video is The Wizard Of Oz, recreated as a horribly pixellated Flash video from 2003.

:: Gwen walks along the yellow brick road. Except she isn't really walking along the road at all, she's on a treadmill in front of a green screen and the road will be added later. The end result is that Gwen looks like she's forgotten how to use her legs properly.

:: This happens for some reason.

:: Oops! Gwen has forgotten to turn on her product placement telephone.

:: Oops! Gwen has forgotten to wear her product placement headphones.

:: There is now some extremely lacklustre dancing in a storm drain. I don't know why we're suddenly in a storm drain, but that's where we've ended up. Perhaps I missed the storm drain segment in The Wizard of Oz. Does it come after the Munchkin song? It's a long film and I may have dozed off.

:: This bit is pretty good, though. Like an M.I.A. video without all the shouting and lip curling.

:: Gwen is swept up by the cyclone, which returns her to the photo shoot.

:: But, and this is probably important, it's in colour now.

:: Closing scene: The entire incident leaves Gwen with stomach cramps.

What a story! What a resolution! What an eyesore! What a waste of three minutes!

Here it is again with moving pictures, if you need to see for yourself.

Gwen Stefani - Baby Don't Lie

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