Alert: There is new music from TLC!

As if to atone for the debacle that was Stooshe's Waterfalls, the song's original vocalists TLC have dragged themselves out of retirement to appear on J Cole's new single.

For those of you who don't remember, TLC were briefly the most successful all-female act in the history of recorded music, before they went bankrupt and mental. They were called exotic things like T-Boz, Chilli and Left Eye (RIP). They won four Grammys and wore condoms on their faces. And they made this song.


And they made this song.


And they made this song.


And they made this song (which is responsible for a million other tedious girlband "anthems" about loving the way you look and not taking any nonsense from anyone, least of all "your man").


In case you don't get how awesome and groundbreaking TLC were at the height of their powers, here is a list of things TLC are better than:

:: En Vogue
:: Destiny's Child
:: The Supremes
:: The Spice Girls
:: B*Witched
:: The Beatles
:: Any other band whose name is a mnemonic for the members' names
:: Yes, that includes ABBA
:: Tigers

So, it's decided, then: TLC rule.

This new song is called Crooked Smile and it has the band's gorgeous, croaky harmonies all over it, supplemented by a Benny-and-the-Jets piano and (hooray!) a fulsome gospel choir. It's from a new J Cole album or something but, let's face it, this post isn't about him at all.

Tweet

J Cole - not just a pair of hairy eyebrows

J Cole... J Cole... J Cole... I know I've heard that name somewhere. Born in Germany, raised in North Carolina, he's been hanging around the outskirts of the music industry since 2007, flashing those freakishly hairy eyebrows at any passing R&B track with 16 bars to spare for a guest rap.

So far, he's turned up on tracks by Jay-Z, Rihanna, Trey Songz, WALE and Beyonce, but his solo career has burned slower than a candle in a vacuum. Until, that is, his debut album (actually his fourth album, but his record company isn't going to be swayed by something as insignificant as facts) went straight to number one in the US - selling 217,000 copies in a week. That's a lot, apparently.

SOME FACTS ABOUT J COLE'S FIRST (BUT ACTUALLY HIS FOURTH) ALBUM

:: It is called Cole World: The Sideline Story

:: Rejected titles included Cole Of Duty: Modern Warfare, At The Cole Face, Baby It's Cole Outside

:: Jermaine says, confusingly, that the 15 tracks on the CD "represent all the songs that aren't even on this album".

:: The single Work Out samples Paula Abdul's Straight Up.

:: He describes the sensitive lyrics as "from-the-heart shit", which is an evocative turn of phrase, don't you think?

One of the stand-out tracks on Cole World is called Lost Ones. It's a mini melodrama, about a young couple in their early 20s who accidentally fall pregnant, and their arguments over abortion.

Cole describes it as follows: "This explores pregnancy from all sides. The male perspective on the first verse, diving into the female perspective on the second, and on the third verse I'm kind of writing in the third person, telling the story from both sides. It's one of my favourites. I've been holding onto that song for four years, waiting for this album to come out."

Indeed, Cole even made a video for the song, long before he got signed to Jay-Z's Roc Nation label. Starring the young rapper, his eyebrows and actress Antoinette Lenae, he posted it on YouTube last night. Have a look - it's moving stuff.

J Cole - Lost Ones

Tweet

Retro R&B jam of the day: Elle Varner

We are all products of the age we grew up in, and that makes me a child of the 90s New Jack Swing era. If there's a song that echoes SWV or En Vogue or Bel Biv Devoe, I will be drawn inexorably towards it, like a cat to a person who does not like cats.

So Elle Varner's new single, Only Wanna Give It To You, was a shoo-in for the blog before it even got past the intro. Sweeter and stickier than a bubblegum pie, it's only a Blackstreet remix away from being a solid gold 90s nostalgia-fest.

Born in Los Angeles to two profesional songwriters, Elle honed her musical skills at the Clive Davis Program Of Recorded Music (Clive Davis being the be-jowled music industry bigwig who signed Aerosmith and nurtured Whitney Houston). She was nominated "most likely to win a Grammy" by her classmates and, perhaps unsurprisingly, was immediately snapped up by Sony Music offshoot J Records... Owned by one Clive Davis, Esq.

Her voice has the slightly croaky tone of Lauryn Hill before she went loopy, and she plays and produces her own material. Best of all, Elle dresses in blinding fluorescent sweaters and baggy dungarees like TLC at their youthful best.

While you watch the video, I'm off to dig out some magic eye pictures and my global hypercolour t-shirt. Power Rangers!

Elle Varner ft J Cole - Only Wanna Give It To You

Tweet