What are the celebs up to today?

Cradle snatched!
Katie and Tom make a cute couple, but doesn't the thought of it make you feel slightly dirty? Like when teachers used to flirt with you?

High-profile paedophilia case bungled!
Seriously - how useless are the prosecution in the Michael Jackson trial? Even their surprise star witness ends up making Jacko seem a victim (of "vultures", bizarrely).

Man aware of his own crimes against humanity!
Sting admits to Gwen Stefani that he is "a dick".

Hair bleached!
The internet is overcome with the news that Linday Lohan has dyed her hair blonde for a film role. Whatever next? Kevin Bacon wears hat? Nicole Kidman applies blusher? Sean Penn lightens up? ...Hmm, maybe not.

Oh for fuck's sake!
Now they're kissing... Why, Lord? Why?

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