Crime, genetalia, urine

Criminals are getting wise to forensic science, thanks to dramas like CSI.

Car thieves in Manchester, for example, have taken to dumping cigarette butts in stolen cars before they abandon them. "Suddenly the police have 20 potential people in the car," according to an expert interviewed in New Scientist.

So far, none of the thugs have hired Quentin Tarantino to direct a special blood-soaked, expletive-filled, happy slap - but surely it's only a matter of time.

An unreleased song / out-take from Fight Club has been leaked onto the net. The duet, performed by Brad Pitt and Edward Norton, is an ode to Helena Bonham Carter entitled "The Penis Song".

"Condi? I need to make pee-pee" - George Bush passes notes to his classmates at the UN.

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