I like dancing at the disco

Goldfrapp have made a so-called "short-form promotional film clip" for their new single Ride A White Horse. The song is superb - but what about the video? Let us investigate.


1. Alison Goldfrapp is a teensy-tiny wee lady.
Look! She has to use a Barbie hairdressing salon set to do her hair. Amazingly, the straighteners worked! (Although we suspect that's a wig.)

Alison is so small that she was once nearly eaten by a spider. Another time, she got trapped in Tony Christie's pocket for seven weeks and had to survive by nibbling on a polo mint.


2. Luckily she has some tiny friends to keep her company.
And they do dancing! Alison, sadly, dances with all the grace of a cat being made to walk on its hind legs. Nil points!


3. Ironic visual representation of musical-genre.
Goldfrapp's music has been called trashy disco. And there is a slightly broken glitterball on the floor. DO YOU SEE? WELL... DO YOU?


4. Goldfrapp is a band
But nobody really notices the other guy. He is now reduced to dressing in toilet roll and eating out of bins. His name is Tutankhamun. Or Will Gregory. We forget.


5. Later on in the video, Alison still cannot dance
Even the one about the teapot escapes her.


6. But she likes a good slice of Italian in her
Oo-er, fnar, etc.

In conclusion, then, Goldfrapp spunked their video budget up the wall on the last two singles and this effort is, to coin a phrase, "a bit pants".

Still, some kind soul has put it up on Dailymotion for you to have a gander

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