Ahoy! It's a new Girls Aloud single!!

Zap! Coming out of nowhere like a bolt of lightning aimed straight at your genitals, the new Girls Aloud single premiered on Radio One this morning.

It is called Sexy! No No No and it is very, very loud. On first listen, I'd say the verses are better than the chorus - which is a betrayal of everything we have come to expect from the fab five. But maybe it will be a "grower", as they say.

The whole shebang kicks off with Cheryl's voice squeezed through a vocoder and sounding very spooky. She has been "sitting back" with "no chance of falling", which proves she has a sturdy chair.

Then - woooooosh! - the chorus kicks in. Like the "tell me more, tell me more" bit of Summer Nights from Grease, the girls are all asking Cheryl whether she put the moves on some poor sap in a nightclub (that's chatting up a bloke, not smacking a toilet attendant in the face), and she keeps replying, "no no no". This will probably be quite a good bit in the video.

It all goes a bit whirly after this, with the verses and the choruses all blending into one another. At one point Nadine sings "From top to bottom, I'm as warm as sunshine"*. I do hope she isn't running a temperature.

Look... I'm not really explaining this very well. Why not listen to it?


Girls Aloud - Sexy! No No No (Radio One exclusive first play)


For all you pervs out there, here's a link to the faintly disturbing home-made video for the track I posted earlier

* UPDATE! Some bits of the internet say this lyric is "From top to bottom, I'm a woman, sunshine". Which is precisely nine times more ace.

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