Happy 40th birthday, Kylie

G'day Kylie,

We would like to wish you a very happy 40th birthday. Try not to panic, this does not mean the end of your life. Look at Madonna: She's a full ten years older than you but she's still able to flash her gusset at the entire world every five minutes. You might need to spend some more time on the pelvic floor exercises, but it's good to be flexible as you advance in years. Maybe try some berocca, too. And support pants.

In the meantime, enjoy all the things that being 40 has to offer. You will be able to afford and enjoy bottles of wine that cost more than £10. You no longer need to listen to new music because you already know plenty of music, and it's way better than The Pigeon Detectives. You can spend more time on the toilet and nobody will complain.

And if it all gets too much, remember that age ain't nothin' but the last three letters of sausage.

Best birthday wishes,
All at Discopop Towers^TM

PS It's not all bad. You could be 20 again.

Kylie - Look My Way (TV appearance, 1988

Tweet