Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Moustache news

Have you seen the new Hoosiers video? It is very odd.

The Hooisers - Choices


Now, amidst all that chaos (the dragon, the melon, the homage to Lost In Translation, the Kung Fu, the Keytar) you may have missed drummer Alphonso Sharland's drastic new haircut.

Hair today
Alphonso in the bad old days

Gone tomorrow
The new "do"


(Sadly, despite repeated invasive surgical procedures, the doctors have never been able to prise open his eyelids).

I met up with The Hoosiers yesterday and we agreed that the loss of Alphonso's moustache was a vital factor in their campaign for chart domination. A furry philtrum is fine if you're in a testosterone-fuelled rock group like the Kings Of Leon. Pop acts, from The Monkees to Girls Aloud, must remain clean-shaven at all times except under the the following circumstances:

A) Any growth is trimmed with a precision bordering on OCD, á la George Michael.
B) It is the 60s and you are John Lennon.
C) You are rocking a Ron Mael pencil moustache, and no-one dares challenge you in case you flip out, club them to death, chop up their bodies with a stanley knife and hide the remains in those suitcases you carry everywhere.

Band on the run


Anyway, if you need further proof of this incontrovertible pop truth, look no further than the new video from cult US band Apples In Stereo.

Called Hey Elevator, it's catchy of tune and summery of vibe. But one look at singer Robert Schneider's face fuzz* and you'll see why MTV hasn't come calling.

The Apples In Stereo - Hey Elevator


* Also, to be fair, his dancing, his demeanour, and his jacket.

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