So, what did I miss?

Right then, back to work.

It's always weird, returning to the office after a fortnight away. You've been off discovering the world, looking at mystical ancient ruins, sampling new cuisines and falling asleep in the afternoon (mainly falling asleep, to be honest). The passage of time stretches before you like an excellent pizza dough.

That feeling was even more acute on this holiday, as the world seemed to accelerate around me. An earthquake? A tsunami? A war?!! I wouldn't have been surprised if I'd come back to the UK and discovered Justin Bieber had reached puberty, shaved off his eyebrows, taken up heroin, sacrificed a goat and drowned in a vat of sugar puffs.

But no. To regular people, existence continued at its usual, languid pace. There were apparently only two weekends, in their regular position. And Justin Bieber's puberty was chemically delayed 'til the end of his tour so that the merchandise would remain relevant.

And what about the crazy, hedonistic world of the music industry? Nothing. Not a sausage. Not even Barry Manilow releasing daily teaser clips of his new video. In fact, the best clips I can summon up from the last fortnight are:

1) The new single by The Joy Formidable
2) Ellie Goulding doing a cover of The Knife's Heartbeats

Don't get me wrong, both of them are excellent. But this is hardly the triumphant cacophony of two weeks new music that I was hoping for. So apols for that.

The Joy Formidable - Whirring


Ellie Goulding - Heartbeats


PS: If I've missed anything then why don't you bloody well EMAIL ME? The address is at the bottom of the page.

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