Seven ways to put on a jacket

Last night, I dreamt I'd been asked to write a feature with the headline: Seven Ways To Put On A Jacket.

I managed to think of three, including "normal", "zipping it up and pulling it over your head like a sweater", and "the Martin Sheen".


In the office, someone suggested the "hairdresser manoeuvre" (invariably ending in a tangled spaghetti of limbs and sleeves) while on Twitter, a friendly PR company pointed out the "fliperoo".


That leaves two. Anyone got any suggestions? Otherwise I can feel that Pulitzer Prize slipping through my fingers.

Anyway, I'm not the only one who's been dreaming weird stuff. Kiwi pop sensation Lorde has even turned her latest reverie into a pop video. As you can imagine, her night visions contain a smidgen more teenage angst than mine. As she explained on Facebook:

"This video was borne from a dream I had a few months ago about teenagers in their own world, a world with hierarchies and initiations, where the boy who was second in command had acne on his face, and so did the girl who was Queen.

I dreamt about this world being so different to anything anyone had ever seen, a dark world full of tropical plants and ruins and sweat. And of this world, I dreamt about tests that didn’t need to be passed in order to be allowed in: sometimes the person who loses is stronger. Enjoy.

Crikey. In the end, the video is basically a mash-up of Lord Of The Flies and the bizarre, lighthouse-based Australian kids' show Round The Twist. It's not great but the song, Team, contains my favourite ennui-soaked lyric from Lorde's rich catalogue of ennui-soaked lyrics: "I'm kind of over getting told to throw my hands up in the air. So there."

Out in February, but you can get the album now.

Lorde - Team

PS: Check out Lorde's Top 10 singles of 2013. Some excellent choices...

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