Haim go disco and nine other songs you may have missed

The latest in a semi-regular round-up from pop's bargain bins. This week's overlooked classics include:

1) Haim - If I Could Change Your Mind (Cerrone Mix)
A couple of months ago Haim got Giorgio Moroder to remix Forever. Now they've roped in French disco lynchpin Cerrone (the inspiration for Goldfrapp's Supernature) to overhaul If I Could Change Your Mind.

He keeps nothing but the vocals, laying them over a smooth Chic groove, thus transforming Haim into a shaggy-haired Sister Sledge.

Roller skates at the ready...





2) Shakira - Empire
Always at her best when she goes full bananas, Shakira holds nothing back on this furniture-chewing torch ballad. As usual, her metaphors go awry in translation ("And the stars make love to the universe??") but she sings it with such demented conviction you let her get away with it.

If you fancy more Empire, Shakira's performance on last week's The Voice UK was a masterclass in stagecraft.




3) Nick Mulvey - Meet Me There
Until 2011, Nick Mulvey was one of the members of Mercury-nominated jazz outfit Portico Quartet, where he played the Hang, a sort of steel drum invented in Switzerland 13 years ago.

These days, however, he's doing lots of clever, Latin-flecked finger picking on his acoustic guitar. You may have already come across his Jack Johnson-y single Cucurucu, which got to number 26 last year.

Meet Me There is even better - elevated above the usual "wispy boy with a guitar" fare by a beguiling bowed cello counter-melody. You don't get a degree in music from the School of Oriental and African Studies for nothing, you know.






4) Tourist (ft Will Heard) - I Can't Keep Up
Signed to Disclosure's Method Records, Tourist is the alter-ego of DJ William Phillips. Like the Lawrence Brothers, he's been building a profile with a bunch of influential instrumentals, before hiring in a few vocalists to send his career chartwise.

Lifted from his forthcoming Patterns EP (which also features Lianne LaHavas) I Can't Keep Up features the soulful crooning of Ireland's Will Heard, and builds steadily for three minutes before, whoosh, soaring off into the stratosphere.

In the week when Frankie Knuckles sadly passed away, this is just one of a dozen new releases that's utterly indebted to his music.




5) Rita Ora - I Will Never Let You Down (Westfunk mix)
I wasn't sure about Rita Ora's comeback single when it premiered on Monday but, with every listen, it sounds more like a hit. Calvin Harris's production is a little subtle, though, so here's a ridiculous rave remix. Air punch o'clock.






6) Sex On Toast - Hold My Love
Of course there's a band called Sex On Toast, and of course they make retro 80s lurve ballads. This is essentially trying to cover Prince's Scandalous, all slap bass and vocoder solos and sticky-fingered fumbling under your sweater.

At least the band don't take themselves too seriously, as the video demonstrates.




7) Drake - Draft Day
New material from "Drizzy" who's always better when he's rapping. This samples Lauryn Hill's Doo-Wop (That Thing), which should go some way towards paying her legal bills.




8) Chloe Howl - Rumour (acoustic)
Chloe Howl deserves a break. Rumour only got to number 84 when it came out earlier this year - but somehow #Selfie goes Top 10? The world is an unjust place.

Especially when you can make a terrible bit of "online content" work so well in your favour. Would you catch Beyonce delivering a flawless performance on a freezing cold rooftop with her hands shoved in her pockets to avoid chillblains? I think not.



9) Sam Smith - Stay With Me
An acceptable recovery after the godawful Money On My Mind, here is Sam Smith doing what Sam Smith does best - singing a lovelorn ballad with the voice of an angel.

"Hang on," you might say, "Surely warbling over the top of Disclosure songs is what Sam Smith does best?" And you would be right. So here is Sam Smith doing what Sam Smith does second best.




10)How To Dress Well - Repeat Pleasure
With touches of both Janet (breathy falsetto)and Michael Jackson (Human Nature synth line), this is seductive, forward-looking soul from American musician Tom Krell. The comparison isn't completely plucked out of thin air, by the way, he covered Janet's Again last year.

NB: You should stick with this one to the end - it grows and grows like a Wotsit in a glass of water.

The end.

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Pharrell, Coldplay and other songs you may have missed

Hello, and welcome to another instalment of "songs you may have missed", aka "songs I have forgotten to write about".

There's a bumper crop this week, kicking off with...

1) Pharrell Williams - Happy (at the Oscars)
Guaranteed to slap a grin on your face, here's an ebullient performance from man-of-the-moment Pharrell Williams. So what if the song didn't win an Oscar, who else can say they got Lupita Nyong'o, Meryl Streep and Amy Adams to dance with them on Sunday night, despite wearing the worst pair of shoes ever seen by humankind? No-one, that's who.




2) Coldplay - Magic
True story: In 2011, one of my 6 Music colleagues ended up sitting next to Chris Martin at an awards show. All night long, she badgered him for an interview. All night long, he refused.

"You probably don't even like Coldplay," he said, trying to shut the situation down.

"I do!" she protested. "I really love your first album."

Eyebrow raised, Martin asked: "And you hate all the others?"

"No, no. It's not that," she protested. "It's just I never bought any of them, so I wouldn't know."

Coldplay apparently took the exchange to heart, because their new single sounds closer to that debut album, Parachutes, than anything they've recorded since. It's called Magic and it goes like this.




3) Arctic Monkeys - Arabella
Four singles in, and AM continues to deliver the goods. Arabella is the moody one, and comes with a video by in-demand director Jake Nava (Kanye's Monster, Beyonce's Single Ladies). Disappointingly, we don't get Alex Turner doing a dance routine in a leotard, but he delivers the song with one almighty swagger.




4) Moonboots ft Kyiki - Don't Ask Why
"I encountered the mysterious undiscovered star @kyiki on a winter night spacewalk," writes producer Moonboots on his Soundcloud page. "We came back with this song."

Not to ruin a fun story, but Kyiki is actually Crystal Fighters' frontwoman Ellie Fletcher, whose vocals caress this feel-good dance track into a dizzy swoon. It's a free download, too. So that's nice.





5) Shakira - Empire
Christing Jesus on a Hotdog, she's not holding anything back, is she?




6) Kate Miller - Collar Up
Don't let the unassuming name fool you, Kate Miller is one heck of a singer. A 19-year-old who is (I think) still unsigned, she sounds like Florence + The Machine, if Florence + The Machine discovered restraint. Her debut single Collar Up is a jagged shard of noir pop, with a chorus that'll stick to you like velcro.




7) Janelle Monae and Charli XCX - Simply Irresistible
Sadly not a duet, but R&B oddball Janelle Monae and pop's best-kept secret Charli XCX have separately recorded versions of Robert Palmer's Simply Irresistible.

The tracks were made for TV channel E! and played during their Oscars red carpet show on Sunday (although I watched it, and failed to hear either of them).

8) Paolo Nutini - Iron Sky (live at Abbey Road)
This one's a slow-burner, so stick with it. Taken from Paolo's forthcoming third album, Iron Sky is a powerful, passionately delivered protest song, which samples Charlie Chaplin's speech from the 1940 anti-Nazi movie The Great Dictator. Adele is a fan:

Fuck!!! This is one of the best things I've ever seen in my life hands down http://t.co/D47sRGtni1

— Adele (@OfficialAdele) February 27, 2014

And that's a wrap. More "fun" and "mayhem" (music videos) tomorrow.

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The Brits' best bits and eight other songs you may have missed

At this moment in time, I feel like a walking bucket of snot - so I dread to think how many pop stars I infected with the lurgy at last night's Brits. Poor old Katy B...

From a reporting point of view, though, it was a great night with lots of access to proper A-list stars. We spoke to Kylie ("There should be a David Bowie award. He should get an award just for being Bowie"), One Direction ("we're a bit drunk"), Haim ("we owe our lives to the UK") and Pharrell ("Yes, I understand why Blurred Lines was controversial").

The ceremony itself was an odd affair. James Corden's "hilarious" prison rape jokes were, presumably, a desperate attempt to recapture the Brits edgy reputation; and he had the temerity to announce Bruno Mars as "the finest showman performing anywhere in the world right now" while standing in the same room as Prince.

On the other hand, the performances (Bruno's included) were actually very good for once. Beyoncé, who was in London for approximately an hour, stole the show despite being dressed as the Little Mermaid. She didn't give The Brits permission to put her performance on YouTube, but lots of other artists did... So here are my picks, alongside the regular "songs you may have missed" selection.

1) Nile Rodgers and Pharrell - Get Lucky / Good Times / Happy
Unbridled positivity from the two nicest men on the red carpet. Pharrell even scolded a reporter who asked him whether the Brit Awards needed American stars to remain relevant, saying he wasn't fit to walk in Freddie Mercury's footsteps.




2) Disclosure and Lorde and AlunaGeorge - Royals / White Noise
Strangely odd. Oddly compelling.




3) Katy Perry - Dark Horse
"Katy Perry is reenacting a period of historic slavery in dayglo," whinged half a dozen killjoys on Twitter. I'm sure they'll raise the same objections when the RSC next stages a production of Anthony and Cleopatra. Or maybe they're just twats.

Anyway, this was the most visually-arresting performance of the night. All it lacked was Katy singing: "All the old paintings on the tombs / They do the sand dance don't you know..."





4) Arctic Monkeys - RU Mine
How Matt Helders manages to pull of those drum fills while maintaining a perfect falsetto, I will never know.




5) London Grammar - Hey Now
Interesting discovery at the Brits: London Grammar are really tiny. Like, smaller than Kylie. I wasn't expecting that.

Anyway, they've just unveiled a mesmerising stop-motion video for Hey Now, one of my favourite tracks from their debut album, If You Wait. If you like this, you should also check out the awesomely atmospheric club mix by Russia's Artyom Stolyarov.





6) Shakira - Nunca Me Acuerdo de Olvidarte
It's the Spanish language, Rihanna-free version of Can't Remember To Forget You and, as is often the case, Shakira's lyrics scan better before translation.

I still find the video slightly disturbing, though. Shakira's not being sexy, just making herself available. There are moments where she presents her posterior to the viewer like a dog in heat. Is that healthy? Am I just getting old? Answers on a postcard.





7) The Chainsmokers - #Selfie
This is the most aggressively terrible song since whatever will.i.am's last single was called. Truly, grotesquely, shamelessly awful. [Breaks a Kit-Kat in half] It's going to go a long way.





8) Lana Del Rey - Behind Closed Doors
Leaked Lana Del Rey songs are about as common as Malaria (and often just as infectious) but this one's particularly interesting, because it seems to be the first track to have emerged from the sessions for her upcoming album UltraViolence.

It has a slightly more contemporary, Britney Spears vibe to the production, but Lana's voice is as alluringly gauche as ever. Worth a listen.





9) Chvrches - Recover
Prior to the release of their debut album, Chvrches' Recover was widely considered to be their weakest single - but time has been forgiving, and it has set up a little camp site in my brain where, once a week, it toasts marshmallows and hosts a little singalong around the fire.

It's not getting an official re-release, as far as I know, but this tour video has just appeared on YouTube as a sort of travel diary / album promo.





10) Alexa Starr - Famous
For fans of Kelly Clarkson and Avril Lavigne, here's an unsigned young Londoner who's attracting interest for her brand of shiny guitar-pop. Her strongest song, Famous, could be an early Gaga demo with a couple of nice lyrical flourishes ("life is a stage but I need an arena").

The production could do with a bit of a polish, but the melody and the energy are there. One to watch.





11) Jungle - Just Busy Earnin'
All we know about Jungle is that there's two of them, they come from Shepherd's Bush and they are to be called "T" and "J" (for "The Jungle," presumably). Oh, and we also know that they've released a brace of clever, funky dance tracks with eye-popping videos (the one with the 8-year-old B-Girl and the one with the dudes on rollerskates).

Their new song, which sounds like Passion Pit covering Jungle Boogie, is an absolute blast. Zane Lowe made it the hottest record in the world last night, having reached Planck Temperature at about 19:22 GMT.






12) The Saturdays - Not Giving Up
God bless The Saturdays, whose latest single is apparently named after the band's mission statement. As you can imagine, this is a clubby-dancey-poppy track that will fill four minutes on the radio, without ever entering your conciousness.

I'm only mentioning it at all because of Una Healey's profound and compelling column about the making of the video, written in this week's Hello Magazine. "I was quite proud as I danced in the highest heels I've ever danced in," she wrote. "I think heels were necessary because the video is very glamorous. I especially liked the effect from all the wind machines."

You can read it here. It will change your life.

Blimey - that went on a bit. Congratulations to anyone who got this far. Now put your feet up and have a cuppa.

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Back in business: What did I miss?

HELLO THERE EVERYONE!

As you can see, I'm back from the Caribbean - where the sun was shiny, the sea was wavy, and the music was Corinne Bailey Rae-y (seriously, there seems to be a law requiring all bands to play Put Your Records On at least twice during their set).

I missed the Grammys and I missed the Super Bowl - but I did manage to catch Prince's appearance on New Girl, where he proved his acting "chops" hadn't improved since Under The Cherry Moon *frowny face emoticon*.


We've only just got back to the UK, so I haven't had time to catch up on all the exciting Conor Maynard and Laura Mvula announcements clogging up my inbox, but here's a quick rundown of the videos I've prioritised to watch on YouTube tonight.

1) Kylie Minogue - Into The Blue
Controversially shot in 4:3, aspect ratio fans.




2) Rudimental ft Becky Hill - Powerless
Becky Hill was on the first series of The Voice, you know.




3) Shakira ft Rihanna - Can't Remember To Forget You
The song doesn't get any better but [insert sexist comment about Shakira's bottom here].




4) Foster The People - Coming Of Age
It's like a three-minute John Hughes movie, only with new music on top. What sophistry is this?




5) Villagers - Occupy Your Mind
Recorded with James Ford (Klaxons, Arctic Monkeys) this song was premiered last week as a gesture of solidarity with Russia's gay population ahead of the Winter Olympics.




6) St Vincent - Digital Witness
Still disorientating, still brilliant.




7) 5 Seconds of Silence - She Looks So Perfect
It's like McBusted split up, fell down a rabbit hole, landed in Australia 10 years younger and started all over again.




8) Klaxons - There Is No Other Time
"A return to form" - every music journalist, everywhere.




9) MØ - Don't Wanna Dance
Who doesn't love a music video set in a scrap yard? Nobody, that's who.



10) The Pierces - Kings
If Tim Burton drew a girl group it would look like Allison and Catherine Pierce. Later this year, they'll be following up 2010's achingly beautiful goth-pop album You & I... and this is the first bite of their newly-plucked forbidden fruit. Yummy.


11) Prince - PretzelBodyLogic (preview)
Apparently he's playing Shepherd's Bush again tonight (Monday)... Anyone care to confirm?

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Shakira, Shakira. Rihanna, Rihanna

It's been trailed like it was the second coming of Elvis in a sparkly bra, and now the Shakira vs Rihanna duet, Can't Remember To Forget You has finally arrived. 

To be honest, it's no Beautiful Liar. 

It's no The Boy Is Mine, either. But it just about stands on it's own, slightly bizarre, reggae meets hair-metal merits. What's more, I suspect the chorus will worm its way into your brain and set up home there after about a week of radio play.  

But for a proper, thorough musical analysis, let's see what the professors of YouTube had to say in the first 10 minutes after the video was published. 

"So perfect," opined Sandra Saade, noting, in the words of Lester Bangs: "Shakira is fucking back, biiiiitches."

Nnyou was less impressed. "It sucks," he pouted. "A lot."  Nnyou concluded with an incisive critique of the song's place in the popular oeuvre, remarking: "Rihanna is so much better than this."

Meanwhile, Cristian Andres Ospina Castaño left a message in Shakira's native tongue. "Genial!" he wrote. "Gran colaboracion dos divas juntas!" I wasn't sure how to take this one at first but apparently juntas means "together", not "fat". 

In the end, however, we needed a singular intellect to really get to the crux of the matter. For that, we turned to TheMansterMonster - an unfamiliar name, but one we will surely be seeing in conjunction with the Pulitzer Prize in years to come. He (she?) set aside all musical prejudice to look at the wider social implications of the track. And in a single, concise, expertly-judged sentence, he noted: "They totally photoshopped Rihanna's breasts."

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Shakira goes beserk

If you have any lingering doubts about Shakira's popularity, how about this statistic: Her latest video, Rabiosa, went online yesterday afternoon and it's already racked up 1.6 million views on YouTube.

This may have something to do with the fact she spends half the video in the bath, and the other half pole-dancing.

It's not going to appease the people who felt the She-Wolf video was over-sexualised and exploitative - but at least there's some sort of lyrical justification for her behaviour. The song's title literally translates as "beserk" and Shakira spends the majority of the song encouraging her lover to "bite me in the mouth". What a horrible image.

Musically, Shakira's conjured up a flighty calypso, structured around an intricate, jittering brass chart. A great little party tune - but flimsier than Shakira's nightdress.

Shakira (ft Pitbull) - Rabiosa


Rabiosa is from Shakira's bilingual album Sale El Sol which, if I'm honest, I completely forgot about. It came out in October, apparently.

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New site, new adress, new video

So I jumped the gun when I said the problems with the blog were over and done with. The entire site has just been out of action for nearly four days.

After much deliberation, I've decided to move all of the contents back to Blogger - which should ensure more stability. Some of the older pages may look a bit ropey, and some of the comments and permanent links have changed. I'll try to fix that over the next week or two.

The site also gets a new URL: blog.discopop.co.uk - so update your bookmarks.

Thanks for bearing with me. As a present and a peace offering, here is the new Shakira video, which is better than a kick in the balls with a pointy shoe.

Shakira - Loca


Cheers,
mrdiscopop

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Shakira and Dizzee's most excellent duet

After writing about Mark Ronson's lightness-of-touch yesterday, it's interesting to hear a new track from Shakira that displays the same traits. Her She-Wolf album, which is barely 12 months old, was a classic example of an artist trying so hard to be cutting edge and relevant that their music became stilted and wooden.

Things got back on track with her World Cup anthem Waka Waka and this new record, Loca, is in a similar vein. Coconuts have been shaken, tequila bottles have been drained, and the gras is most definitely mardi.

Best bit, though, is Dizzee Rascal blurting "that girl is a nutter".

He calls 'em like he sees 'em.

[soundcloud width="100%" height="81" params="" url="http://soundcloud.com/ileaks/shakira-hells-angel"]

The song is from Shakira's hot-off-the-presses new album, Sale El Sol (Sunrise). The Colombian popstrel unveiled the artwork on Twitter last night...



Let's hope the rest of the album lives up to the promise of the single.

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Dora-l Fixation vol. 1

From Beyonce to this - Shakira's latest duet is with perky cartoon irritant Dora The Explorer.

Called Todos Juntos, it is lifted from Dora's greatest hits album (!) and has not, despite what I initially thought, got anything to do with the Todos Juntos children's charity - which helps children in the slums of Argentina.

Very cute though. Very cute indeed.

Shakira and Dora The Explorer - Todos Juntos


Yes, I am struggling to find something to write about. Can you tell? CAN YOU?

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Goooooooaaal (pt II)

Okay, so Shakira's performance of the official World Cup song, Waka Waka, at tonight's opening ceremony was pretty cute.

Shakira - Waka Waka (World Cup Opening Ceremony)


Come on you reds, or whatever.

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Calling all gypsies!

Shakira is disrespecting you and your heritage. Are you going to stand for it?

Shakira - Gypsy


PS: If you think I couldn't work out what to say about this song, you are right.

PPS: OMG Rafael Nadal iz buff n they does kissin at the end LOL (etc)

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Shakira: Did It Again video

Three things Shakira's new video contains

1) Shakira in a sauna
2) Shakira in a skimpy nightdress
3) Shakira dancing on a bed with a "hunk"

Amazingly, number 3 is our favourite bit.

Shakira - Did It Again

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The most supple woman on the planet

I dropped into the Jools Holland studios to see Shakira (or Shakira Shakira, to give her full name) perform three tracks from her new album and one oldie-but-goodie.

I swear that the woman is genetically related to Elastigirl from The Incredibles. She is stretchy beyond belief. Watch the bit in She-Wolf where she sings the bridge while executing a perfect crab bend - around 0:58 into the video. It's not normal.

Shakira - She Wolf (live)

The best bit about Jools Holland is watching how the stars off-duty. Before the show, there was a huge kerfuffle over Shakira's necklace, which appeared to be caught in her hair. This demanded an instant jewellery swap, leading to the not-a-joke query "How many people does it take to change Shakira's necklace?"

The answer is three: One to hold the spare chain, one to lift up Shakira's hair, and one to operate the clasp. Plus Shakira, obviously.

Shakira - Hips Don't Lie (live)

On Friday's extended edition of the show, you'll get to see two more tracks from She-Wolf - Why Wait and Gypsy, which both have a big Middle Eastern influence. The latter has another moment of lyrical genius from the daft-as-a-brush department.

I'm a gypsy
Are you coming with me?
I might steal your clothes
And wear them if they fit me

I guess all that bending must restrict the flow of blood to the brain.

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Shakira in her pants

As single covers go, I'm giving this 9/10. Shakira looks great. Nice pants. But the wall could really have done with an undercoat - the old paintwork is showing through. Shoddy, shoddy, shoddy.



PS: I have just read this post on Marina and the Diamonds' blog and now I feel dirty for even glancing at the above picture with my shameful man-eyes, never mind disseminating it across the internet like a small-scale, bedroom publising Larry Flynt.

On the plus side, I was right about the DIY.

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Back once again with the renegade master*

Usually, when I disappear off on a sabattical**, nothing happens. Over the last week, however, there have been up to three (three!) big events on planet pop.

Here are they:

1. SHAKIRA BREAKS HER SPINE

During the filming of her new video, She-Wolf:





It's all incredibly sexy, in a "there is no way I would let this woman into my house" sort of way. I would embed the clip here but the UK exclusive has been given to MSN, who operate the world's most ugly video streaming site. Here is the link, Click on it if you dare.

2. MADONNA RELEASES MEDIOCRE SONG
Celebration is the title track of Madonna's latest Greatest Hits album, and is almost certain to be her last number one for Warner Bros (unless Tinchy Stryder has something out the same week). Produced by Paul Oakenfold, it's what old people would call a 'banging club tune' and the kids would call 'a bit dated'.

It brilliantly recalls the summery vibes of Everybody and Holiday - and there's a clever nod to Into The Groove in the lyrics - but the tune is a bit of an afterthought. In fact, when Jo Whiley played it on Radio One last week, a lot of texts came in saying it would sound better withough the vocals.

For those naysayers, here is the dub mix (which, it has to be said, is a vast improvement).

Madonna - Celebration (Paul Oakenfold Dub)
(

US readers can buy the track now on iTunes. Everyone else has to put up with a preview on Madonna.com until later this month.

3. SUGABABES DO A QUITE GOOD VIDEO

Like Monty Don, the Sugababes new single is a grower (yes, even though it is basically a club mix of Right Said Fred's I'm Too Sexy). When you watch the video, you will come to the realisation that, following a brief internal struggle, the group now belongs to Amelle Berrocca, or whatever her name is.

In the panoply of British girl band videos, it is a solid 7/10. But, because the song is so obviously a top-dollar US R&B production, you can't get away from the niggling suspicion that Rihanna would have done it better.

At the very least, she would have spent another fiver on the choreographer.

Sugababes - Get Sexy


* "random blogger"
** attempt to drown myself in alcohol

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Shakira - She-Wolf (English version)

*

When it comes to writing lyrics in English, Colombian pop star Shakira is equally touched by genius and madness.

Has there ever been a more passionate declaration of love than: "For you, I'd give up all I own and move to a communist country"? And has there ever been a more confusing come-on than: "Lucky that my breasts are small and humble / so you don't confuse them with mountains"?**

The English-language version of the 32-year-old's new single came out this morning, and it is - even by Shakira's lofty standards - a literary classic. Here are the highlights:

"Darling its no joke, this is lycanthropy"

"To look at the single man, I've got on me a special radar,
And the fire department's hotline in case I get in trouble later"

"Nocturnal creatures are not so prudent
The moon’s my teacher, and I’m her student"

"I'm starting to feel just a little abused, like a coffee machine in an office"

That last one may be the best lyric of all time, don't you think?

There's an MP3 of the song over at the Hard Candy blog, should you want to hear Shakira's potty poetry in a disco setting.

* If this is the official art-work, I hope the proof-reader notices they've mis-spelled Shakira's name
**These are rhetorical questions. There's no need to send a letter.

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Will radio play Shakira's new single?

Colombia's second-biggest export is back with a lycanthropic disco track, Loba (She-Wolf). It's her first big release since Hips Don't Lie and Beautiful Liar topped the chart - and it'll be interesting to see how it does.

For starters, the song has not-very-radio-friendly 36-second intro. Secondly, it's all a bit europop - right down to the tacky Boney M strings. Of course, in a world where Cascada can beat Michael Jackson's corpse to number one, this may not the terrible misfire it first seems.

Also in Shakira's favour is the fact that she's decided to record an English-language version of the single. Given that her 2005 Spanish album, Fijación Oral, failed to chart in the UK because it was "sung in foreign", this seems particularly pragmatic.

Personally, I'm not 100% sold on the song, although Shakira's material always grows on me over time.

What do you think? Can you hear this being played on your local radio station? Will it be a hit? Could Shakira's wolverine howl be any more lacklustre?

Shakira - Loba


:: The song is also streaming on Shakira's MySpace page
:: The English version hasn't been released yet (as far as we can tell)
:: This Youtube clip, which splices some old concert footage with the new single suggests the video could be 100% amazing.



:: Although this preview of the real thing suggests we'll get a Herb Ritts-esque moody modelling-type video, as opposed to a full-on "Shakira turns into werewolf and eats babies" loony-fest. Shame!

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Shakira and Nelly Furtado's teaser trailers

Two artists who are non-euphemistically "big in Latin America" are preparing new material for the summer, and trying out new ways of sparking our interest.

Shakira 'Shakira' Ripoll is hoping to build on the success of her Wyclef and Beyonce collaborations and score her first UK hit in 3 years with a single, She-Wolf, followed by an as-yet-untitled album in the autumn. For some reason, this is being promoted with a viral video of the hip-shaking Grammy winner eating people's faces.



There's no clip of the song - but Popjustice has heard it , and vouches for its quite good-ness.

Meanwhile, Nelly 'I owe it all to Timbaland' Furtado is about to unleash her first Spanish-language record (trans: about to have a flop album in the UK, where people who speak a second language are viewed with the same degree of suspicion as mothers who eat their own babies).

Here is her, rather less expensive, Youtube video:



While Shakira is trying something clever (it's an attempt to establish a narrative theme for her lycanthropic project) Furtado's trailer exists in a whole other dimension of crap. It's literally a 30-second music clip set to a cheap animation - sort of like an over-ambitious iTunes preview.

If this is how singles are being promoted now, what can we expect to see next? An exclusive first look at the typeface for Vampire Weekend's new record sleeve? A preview of the autotune settings Mr Hudson is using on his next album? Maybe Madonna could release her new single one note at a time, accompanied by a collectable magazine that builds up, week-by-week, into an exclusive partwork.

Actually. I'm copyrighting that last idea at the Post Office tomorrow.

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The Discopop top 10 singles of 2007

If you don't own these, you're probably a paedophile.

1) Amerie - Gotta Work


An updated, improved version of One Thing, Gotta Work stomps all over the dancefloor like a giant in hotpants. Using a sample of Isaac Haye's Hold On, I'm Coming, Amerie crafted a case study in melodic composition - there's not a single wasted note across three minutes and eleven seconds. Why this didn't get to number one, I'll never know.
:: Watch it on youtube

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2) Robyn - With Every Heartbeat

"Still dying with every step I take, but I don't look back," sings Robyn as With Every Heartbeat opens. It's the most emotionally honest, bitterly painful song of the year - if not all time. The bit where the string quartet kicks in will break your heart a thousand times over. Her acoustic performance of the song on Radio One probably drove several teenagers to poetry or that weird sobbing where you make a noise like Hannibal Lecter when you breathe in. But you can dance to it, too, which must turn school discos into a dangerous playground of tears and snot. Brilliant.
:: Watch it on youtube

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3) CSS - Let's Make Love and Listen To Death From Above

The best drunken come-on of the year, Let's Make Love sees Lovefoxxx making a stupid, Bridget Jones-style attempt to get a man into bed. The song doesn't record whether or not she was successful, but I definitely would.

According to Wikipedia, the hook "is probably a reference to the Canadian band Death From Above 1979, as evidenced in the song's video where band members are shown wearing elephant masks (a reference to the "elephant heads" on the cover of Death From Above 1979's album You're a Woman, I'm a Machine)." So now you know.
:: Watch it on youtube

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4) Rihanna - Umbrella

In which 19-year-old Robyn Rihanna Fenty transformed from a vaguely-interesting Barbadian R&B lady into a globe-straddling pop behemoth before our very eyes. This despite the fact her singing voice is more nasal than an anteater, and that the opening rap from Jay-Z is the very definition of "phoned in". But this record is so amazingly catchy that it has changed the way we pronounce the word umbrella for the rest of all time.
:: Watch it on youtube

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5) Girls Aloud - Call The Shots

If Rihanna mangled her pronunciation of umbrella, Cheryl Tweedycole put the word "now" through a primeval torture device in Call The Shots. Seriously, it ends up being seventeen syllables long or something. But I love this song, and anyone who says they don't love it too it is lying through their dirty mouth.
:: Watch it on youtube

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6) Groove Armada - Song 4 Mutya

Despite the lyrics, Mutya almost certainly doesn't know all the words to Prince's Hot Thing, but this pop song, full of meaty synths and New Order guitar lines, sounds exactly like the sort of thing the little purple man would have written for one of his filthy protegés in the mid-80s. The video is a crock of shit, though.
:: Watch it on youtube (but it's probably best not to waste your time)

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7) Beyoncé and Shakira - Beautiful Liar

Two of pop's shoutiest ladyfolk have a volume competition over a slinky, arabesque beat. The video contains several scenes of wiggling. It is altogether smashing.
:: Watch it on youtube

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8) Girls Aloud - Sexy! No, No, No...
Nadine has a "d-d-dirty mind", she helpfully tells us in this hymn to sexual caution. Coincidentally, two years ago she used the lyrics of Biology to advertise her "dirty brain". We, the public, demand more information about this inner pervert.
:: Watch it on youtube

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9) Siobhan Donaghy - Don't Give It Up

It is a terrible crime that, despite having released one of the most inventive albums of the year, Siobhan Donaghy is now dying from Aids (on stage in a crappy "reinvention" of Rent, fact-fans). This song, equal parts Kate Bush and Bjork, is absoulte nonsense - but very beautiful, stately nonsense with an ethereal vocal. No doubt it was deemed "too demanding" for the cretins that listen to Radio One. If only she had put "The" in front of her name, they might have paid attention.
:: Watch it on youtube

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10) Nelly Furtado - Say It Right

One of those songs that sits unloved and overshadowed on its parent album before revealing its true glory as a single. A slinky little minor-key ballad, its one of Nelly's more atmospheric songs, although I've never really paid attention to what it's all about. According to the internet, however, the lyrics go: "From my hands I could give you something that I made / From my mouth I could sing you another brick that I laid". Nelly Furtado is nuts, isn't she?
:: Watch it on youtube

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PS: As ever, the top 10 list is put together using my iTunes play counts and a bit of maths(!) to even out the bias towards songs that have been around all year.

PPS: Honourable mentions also go to The Klaxons - Golden Skans, White Stripes - You Don't Know What Love Is, Gossip - Standing In The Way Of Control, Take That - Shine, Mark Ronson - Stop Me, The Ting Tings - That's Not My Name, Kanye West - Stronger, Arcade Fire - Intervention, Timbaland ft Justin Timberlake and Nelly Furtado - Give It To Me, New Young Pony Club - The Bomb.

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Beyoncé and Shakira's day out

Honestly, these pop stars. You give them a day off and they just go off and record a smash hit single and a slinky video to go with it. Tsk.


Once again, for those of you too lazy to press play here is what you have missed:

00:00-00:20 Someone really needs to turn that kettle off.
00:20-00:23 Beyoncé's hips are ginormous. It's like she's got two frozen chickens stuffed up her.
00:26-00:28 Ouch! Shakira has dislocated her shoulder in a nonsensical tribute Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon. Except Shak's not in a straightjacket, but a really hot dress. (Try not to let the image of Mel Gibson in a really hot dress give you nightmares, readers).
00:50-01:00 What kind of person puts curtains up at the beach?
01:05-01:10 Beyoncé is wearing Shakira's wig.
01:11-01:20 Now Shakira is wearing Beyoncé's wig! What kind of follicular madness is this?
01:20-01:30 Are we in a pole dancing club, a hall of mirrors, or a mixture both? Whatever, it's right kinky.
02:04-02:20 Girls, if you're going to writhe around on the floor like children, at least put on some comfortable clothes. Those dresses will cost a fortune at the dry cleaners.
02:58-02:10 All that steam from the kettle has set off the sprinklers. I told you so.
03:08-03:12 When Shakira sings "we can laugh about it", it cuts to a picture of B and S (as they shall henceforth be known) doing a laugh. The director has earned his multi-million dollar fee and we can all go home.

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