Cyndi Lauper's True Colors is a gnat's whisker away from being the perfect song. In fact, the only thing that counts against it is the atrocious American spelling of "colour". Urgh.
Marina and the Diamonds has just released a piano-led cover that corrects that error, while being as delicate and beautiful as the original.
You can hear it below.
According to several Marina forums, the track was supposed to be on a deluxe edition of FROOT which never came to pass. A tweet from producer David Kosten suggests this official release follows the leak of an inferior version by some nefarious malcontent on the internet. The scoundrel!
If I had to choose one pop star to take to the funfair, it would be Marina and the Diamonds. She just looks like she'd be good at the coconut shy...
Now, thanks to Marina's new video for Blue, I can finally live out that fantasy. Partially.
Shot in Margate's vintage theme park, Dreamland, it looks incredible... Full credit has to go to director Charlotte Rutherford for the lighting and colouring for turning a drab seaside resort into something resembling a Tim Burton movie.
The vibrant, joyous video is a stark contrast to the song's lyric - about wanting one last fling with your ex. But there are a couple of moments of sober self-reflection that suggest Marina's joie de vivre isn't completely genuine.
On second thoughts, maybe I'll take one of the Haim sisters to Alton Towers instead.
I took a mini-break from the blog last week to help the kids survive the school holidays. OK, to help my wife survive the school holidays.
But plenty of great music found its way into the world in my absence. Here is a 15-track summary of that music.
1) Madonna - Ghosttown
The best video Madonna's made in over a decade, for her best single since Sorry.
Co-starring Terence Howard (Iron Man, Empire), it depicts the Queen of Pop one of the last survivors of a nuclear apocalypse. Which finally explains why she has the face of a 30-year-old Drew Barrymore.
2) Florence + The Machine - Ship To Wreck
More mellifluous than the previous releases from Florence's upcoming third album, this still finds the singer wracked with doubt. "Did I drink too much? Am I losing touch? Did I build this ship to wreck?" she hollers over the deceptively upbeat, glockenspielly backing.
The video, directed Vincent Haycock, follows the narratively-driven clips for St. Jude and What Kind of Man, and was filmed at Florence's house.
3) Brandon Flowers - Still Want You
It seems like Brandon's having a lot of fun with his new solo album.
I mean, A LOT of fun.
The second single from The Desired Effect is a wonky rock/gospel hybrid that hammers home its chorus with a bejangled mallet; while the video finds Brandon in a playful, flirty mood - looking eerily similar to Bryan Ferry doing David Bowie on Stars In Their Eyes.
4) Shura - 2 Shy
I championed this Janet Jackson sound-alike a couple of weeks ago, and now it has a moody and windswept (and largely unnecessary) video to accompany it.
5) Michael Calfan - Treasured Soul
This has been bubbling around on specialist dance shows since the start of the year, but it's getting a proper release in time for the summer. A soulful, uplifting dance anthem, it's powered by steel drum hook that owes a huge debt to Duke Dumont's I Got U. Which is no bad thing.
6) Chloe Black - Cruel Intentions
I wasn't a big fan of Chloe Black's last single, 27 Club, in which she revealed an ambition to die young, at the same age as Kurt Cobain and Janis Joplin. It was a terrible, attention-seeking lyric with a casual disregard for those tragically curtailed lives.
Her new single seeks to make amends ("I won't try to defend all of my crazy") and suggests the London-based singer-songwriter could be this year's Lana Del Rey. Distinctive and dramatic.
7) Clean Bandit ft Marina and the Diamonds - Disconnect
Premiered live at Coachella, this is apparently from Clean Bandit's "eagerly anticipated" second album, which is coming out later this year.
As Marina later noted on Twitter, her stage outfit made her look like Ali G.
9) Kiesza - Sound of a Woman
It's ballad time in Kiesza world, which means less dancing, and more emoting. Bah.
10) Mark Ronson ft Mystikal - Feel Right
Live on the Ellen Show, this is a peach of a performance.
11) Snoop Dogg - So Many Pros
Produced by Pharrell, this creamy-smooth jam finds Snoop drawl-singing an ode to the "pretty people". Progressive it isn't, but the funkadelic chorus (featuring vocals from The Gap Band's Charlie Wilson) is delicious.
12) MO - Preach
Like SWV combined with Little Mix, while never reaching the peaks of either. Now on the Radio 1 playlist, where it's a refreshing change from James bloody Bay.
13) Lykke Li, Kanye West and Lil Wayne - Never Gonna Love Again
Eminem's producer has mashed up Lykke Li's Never Gonna Love Again with Lil Wayne and Kanye' Lollipop remix, for no reason other than he could.
It works surprisingly well.
14) Charles Hamilton - New York Raining (ft Rita Ora)
Here's a stunning, Selma-esque video to accompany New York Raining, Charles Hamilton's collaboration with Oscar nominee Rita Ora.
Set in a monochromatic 1960s New York, we see Charles amongst a group of civil rights protestors, joining arms as they square off with police. Rita stays clear of the politics, preferring to gaze wistfully through a rainy window.
15) Madonna - Bitch, I'm Madonna
We finish back where we started - with Madonna back on form, despite the creative disarray of her Rebel Heart album.
This is how you do a chat show performance in the YouTube age - playful and self-deprecating while cramming in tons of "content" and some killer dance moves. It's just a shame the song is so cringeworthy.
So there you go. Seems like I was the only one who had a quiet Easter. So spare a moment to remember the PR people who had to manage the YouTube uploads and email out the links. Let's hope they had tons of chocolate to compensate.
Ciara has released a proper video for her superlative R&B jam, I Bet - which is essentially a protracted "fuck you" to her former flame, Future ("I bet you start loving me when I find someone better than you," she scolds).
The clip starts off with the "Goodies" hitmaker pretending to be a music box ballerina (albeit one doing some very questionable robot dancing). But, before long, she's dressed in a figure-hugging leotard, showing off the sort of sensual moves that got her previous videos banned in the States. It all ends with that shot you see above, making the video an even more stinging rebuke than the song itself.
(You should also check out the acoustic version I wrote about last month).
The title track of Marina & The Diamonds' imminent album has been given a shimmering seeing-to by New York hipsters St Lucia.
It's more strident and immediate than the original, teasing out some of Marina's ad libs for an extended, bubbling coda.
Nice work.
Pt III - Uptown Funk
Multi-headed funk beast Jungle stopped by Radio 1 to perform this cover of Bruno / Ronson's inescapable chart smash earlier today.
How they crammed all those people into the station's tiny Live Lounge cupboard is a mystery - but it's great to hear the song performed with a full, live brass section.
Here it is: A semi-regular round-up of songs I haven't managed to blog about, from pop powerhouses to rejuvenated indie icons, And ending with two chancers who can't believe their luck.
1) Rihanna - American Oxygen
Rihanna's latest song was teased in a promo for the new basketball season (obviously) which you can see below. It's a meagre 30 seconds, but we'll take what we're given from the Bajan pop queen.
2) Carly Rae Jepsen - I Really, Really Like You
Look, if Tom Hanks agrees to appear in your video, you don't say "no". Even if he insists on "being you". Even if he doesn't really understand how to lip-sync. Even if the climactic dance number is borderline humiliating. Just roll with the punches. It's Hollywood, baby.
3) Marina and the Diamonds - Forget
Congratulations to the hair stylist on this video. Marina looks incredible.
And in "good news" news, the release date of Marina's third album FROOT has been moved forward to 16th March. That's 10 days, people!
4) Madonna - Ghosttown (live)
The best song on Madonna's new album is also her best song in a decade. Easily.
Even the slightly wobbly vocal on this live performance can't rob it of its charm.
5) MIA - Can See Can Do
"Some people see planes, some people see drones" - a typically provocative lyric from MIA, who's back for the first time after 2013's Matangi.
There's no word on whether this is a single or just something she's knocked off in the studio, but it sounds like filler to me.
6) Everything Everything - Distant Past
There's a bit in the mid 8 where this threatens to turn into the Crossroads theme tune - and, what with this being an Everything Everything single, I half suspect it's deliberate.
Otherwise, it's business as usual. Ridiculous falsetto, polyrhythmic drum lines and lyrics like: "Two thumbs, I cross the Rubicon".
It's nice to have them back.
7) The Violent Femmes - Love Love Love Love Love
It's 15 years since the Violent Femmes released new material - and 32 since their ode to onanism Blister In The Sun - but they sound undiminished on their return. And is that an oboe solo??
Recorded on New Year’s Eve in Hobart, Tasmania, its the lead track on a 4-track EP that's coming out on Record Stay.
8) Conor Maynard - Talking About
Let's face it, Conor Maynard is a shit pop star. But if this came on the radio, and someone told you it was the new one from Disclosure, you'd probably be quite impressed.
Well played, sir.
9) Alabama Shakes - Don't Wanna Fight (live on SNL)
The new Alabama Shakes single has been compared to Bob Marley's Could You Be Loved and James Brown's Cold Sweat - which is pretty impressive company - but frontwoman Brittany Howard hinted at another inspiration on SNL, wearing a pair of earrings bearing Prince's lovely face.
Now, where can I get a pair of those?
10) The Staves - Make It Holy
I've run out of ways to gush about The Staves, so let's just accept I like this a lot without any further adjectives.
11) Joywave - Somebody New
Coming out of Rochester, Joywave are making uplifting indie-pop in the vein of Friendly Fires and Passion Pit.
Their new video will please anyone who used to play Tony Hawk games on the PS2, although what it has to do with the song is beyond me.
12) Kid Cudi - Love (ft Ratatat)
Things have been quiet on the Kid Cudi front for quite some time now, so this upload caught fans by surprise on Tuesday night.
An unreleased track from last year's Satellite Flight album, it's an uplifting hug of a record, as Cudi sings: "Don't be so down, come on young homie / You'll be OK, you'll find real love".
Writing on Soundcloud, Cudi says: "Hope it brings you some peace if you have a lonely heart out there. byeeeee :)"
13) Electro Velvet - Still In Love With You
The UK's Eurovision for 2015 is by a Mick Jagger impersonator and a woman who couldn't convince a single person to turn their chair around on The Voice. So that augurs well.
The song itself is an odd fish... basically will.i.am's Bang Bang without the production values. It seems content to repeat its derivative four-bar hook a dozen times without any modulation or progression - which isn't necessarily a bad tactic when you're trying to make a lasting impression in three minutes. But you're left with the overwhelming feeling of "is that really it?"
And that's this week's supplement. Tune in for more tomorrow.
The fear with the long, slow trickle of releases from Marina and the Diamonds' third album, Froot, is that each track will get progressively less interesting. But having had the privilege of hearing the whole thing, I can vouch that the fruit is satisfyingly juicy throughout (do you see? DO YOU SEE?!!).
If you've heard the title track and the current single, I'm A Ruin, you'll know that Marina's abandoned Electra Heart's "throw 25 producers at the wall and see which one sticks" approach for a more stripped-back, mature style. And that continues across Froot's 12 tracks, written solo, produced by David Kosten and recorded with a helping hand from art-pop lunatics Everything Everything.
The result is a record that's coy about revealing its bounty. You need a few listens to appreciate it, partly because the production is so subtle. It's not constantly screaming "here's the bloody chorus, dummies", leaving you to navigate the music's peaks and troughs on your own. As Marina mentioned to me in a (forthcoming) interview, it works better if you listen to "a track a day" while you acclimatise to the new style.
All of which means the the record's unconventional release strategy - Marina's released a song a month for the last five months - makes much more sense.
The latest "froot" came out at midnight... Called Forget, it's one of the album's bigger foot-stompers, with a chunky guitar riff that balances an introspective lyric about Marina's inability to let go of the past.
Marina and the Diamonds' rather spiffing new song I'm A Ruin is nestled happily in America's iTunes Top 10, despite some pretty stiff competition from Missy Elliot, who's seen a 1,000% sales increase for Work It, Get Ur Freak On and Lose Control since that Super Bowl performance.
It's a testament to the song's juicy "uh-huh, oh yeah" hook which, unconventionally, is positioned after the chorus. It's probably testament to the rest of the song. And probably to the singer's totally rabid (but in a nice way) fanbase.
I'm A Ruin now has a video, which sees Marina prancing around near a volcano in a billowy dressing gown. There is also a jellyfish.
Marina recently took part in a YouTube Q&A thing which I have watched so you don't have to.
Among the highlights were.
:: Marina responding to a correspondent who asked "why are your boobs so big?". Her answer: "I am half-Greek and half-Welsh and Mediterran women are quite often very curvy, so it is a genetic reason and nothing else. Both sides of the family have boobs."
:: The shocking revelation that her new album, Froot, is definitely her best. "The first two albums were... very much me still learning about songwriting. Everything feels effortless this time."
:: The equally shocking revelation that Marina plans to promote her new album by playing some of the songs in a public arena. "I will be doing a world tour from October," she says.
:: "I have written this entire record alone," she reveals, "which is incredibly rare in our current musical landscape. That's been an incredible experience, not answering to anyone."
:: The strategy of pre-releasing half the album to fans was a deliberate reaction against the commercialism of Electra Heart, which left her "fucking burnt out".
:: Marina does not own a vibrator.
:: Her musical idols are Fiona Apple, Shirley Manson, Brody Dalle and PJ Harvey. And Madonna.
:: She's interested in collaborating with Royksopp (this would be amazing, incidentally).
:: If she could sum up her career in one word, that word would be "messy".
:: Marina buys her toilet roll in Sainsbury's. No brand was identified, but I'm saying it's the quilted Andrex.
'Shampain' hitmaker Marina and the Diamonds had a minor catastrophe last week when her new single, I'm A Ruin, popped up online two weeks ahead of schedule.
Ever the trooper, though, Ms Diamandis shrugged it all off in an admirably balanced series of tweets.
So… Some of you may have heard snippets of 'I'm A Ruin' floating round the web. It leaked because my 7" vinyl shipped this week
How pragmatic. How empathetic. How unlike Madonna and her toys-out-of-the-pram comments about "artistic rape".
Anyway, Tuesday has rolled around and, as promised. Huw "Heugh" Stephens has played I'm A Ruin on his radio show and it is exceptionally good - in the subtle, emotional way that most of the pre-release tracks from Marina's new album have already proved to be.
This one sees our heroine admit she's a nightmare in relationships, but she just can't help herself. "I know I'm playing with your heart," she sings, "And I could treat you better but I'm not that smart".
As in all her best work, Marina balances the psychobabble with a catchy hook. Here, it's in a post-chorus "yeah-yeah, uh-huh" bit that's 24-carat pop gold.
I'm A Ruin is the first official single from Marina's third album Froot, which is out on 22 March. The singer helpfully posted the lyrics and the artwork for the song online after the Radio 1 premiere. There's a video coming soon, too...
Marina and the Diamonds has always had a confessional element to her lyrics. The opening lines of her debut album are about the hair-pulling anxiety of signing her record deal: "Was I meant to feel happy?" she sings, her mental state directly feeding those nervous tics in her vocals.
But her presentation has always been stylised and conceptualised - from the diamond-encrusted diva of I Am Not A Robot to the "American archetypes" she portrayed in the Electra Heart project.
So it's refreshing to see this unvarnished acoustic performance of her new single, Happy. The video is as naked as the lyrics, as Marina quietly describes her struggles with sadness, and how she found sanctuary.
As I said last week, Happy is a fragile and beautiful song. But I've also worked out what was niggling me about the melody: The "I believe" section really reminds me of Dire Straits' Romeo and Juliet (specifically the line "Juliet, when we made love you used to cry").
Here's the second track to be revealed from Marina and the Diamonds' forthcoming long-player, Froot.
Happy (not a Pharrell cover, thank the lord) starts off stark and naked - Marina's voice completely shorn of reverb, like she's singing in your living room. It makes the heart-wrenching lyrics, in which Marina describes her not-entirely-hidden struggles with self-confidence and depression, even more affecting.
But as she sings the line "all the sadness inside me melted away", a few sparkled harmonies appear and the song begins to blossom.
By the end, she seems be describing a religious conversion ("I believe someone's watching over me") and the music matches her euphoria.
It's fragile and beautiful - and already number one in quite a few of the global iTunes charts.
When Marina and the Diamonds unveiled her comeback song, Froot, a couple of weeks ago, I suggested it couldn't be a single because it was too long (and too odd) to be played on the radio.
I stand by that assertion - but it could still become a hit by default. The audio stream's already up to 2.5m views on YouTube and Froot leapt into the UK and US iTunes chart as soon as it was released yesterday, thanks to the star's tightly-knit and on-the-ball fanbase.
"Lead tracks are funny. Whatever you lead with, it's going to put out a message to everybody watching and who's a fan as to how you're going to progress. If I'd come out with 'Blue', probably my biggest sounding song, it would be like 'oh, okay, this a huge pop campaign, let's do the whole Top 40 route' and I'm just not here for that anymore.
"If it happens, it's fantastic, and I still consider myself part of that world, but I don't want to have to adhere to or rely on that anymore.
She's clearly hedging her bets - a hit is a hit is a hit, after all. But with the album not due until April 2015, I'd wager the promo campaign will begin in earnest next year.
Either way, feast your eyes on this old school Hollywood visual treat.
I've been giving this a lot of thought and I've made a decision: Marina and the Diamonds is my favourite pop star.
:: Beyonce? Too imperious.
:: Justin Timberlake? Too long-winded.
:: Katy Perry? Too slick.
:: Robyn? Too "indie".
:: Lady Gaga? Too pretentious.
Marina blends and balances all those qualities in one perfect pop package. Oh, and she's a total fruitcake. A really scrummy fruitcake with a preternatural gift for melody, but a fruitcake nonetheless.
Before she was signed, she auditioned for an all-male reggae boyband. In one of her first videos, she grew mupppet legs and declared "we are the spoons". Another single, Obsessions, described her crippling indecision in the local supermarket's biscuit aisle. Imagine Beyonce singing that. You can't. She'd just buy all the biscuits, smash them to bits, bake them into a cheesecake and ice an empowering feminist message on top. Which is impressive, obviously, but not very relatable.
Marina's songs are irreverent, playful, occasionally juvenile and always unpredictable. In other words, she's a quintessentially British** star. So I'll take her capricious pop over the rest of them, thanks.
Especially in the light of her newest song (and title track to her third album), Froot. Released today in celebration of her 29th birthday, it's got more hooks than a butchers and the lyrics are reliably bonkers: "Baby, I am plump and ripe. I'm pinker than shepherd's delight," she warbles over a percolating electronic mist.
At five-and-a-half minutes long, it doesn't sound like a single - but it bodes well for the new material.
Here you go: A semi-regular round-up of songs I didn't have time to write about during the week, including tasty morsels by this load of reprobates.
1) Lykke Li - Gunshot
Let's start with the most disturbing video of the week, in which Lykke "laugh-a-minute" Li stumbles round the world's oddest car park, being shot by invisible bullets. A lighthearted romp.
2) Cam'Ron ft Nicki Minaj - So Bad
The video is hilariously low-budget (hello, green screen!) but the doo-wop indebted duet is damned catchy. Plus, Cam'ron makes the world's worst Angry Birds pun, so well done on that front.
3) Haim - Oh Well (live at T In The Park)
Always a highlight of their live shows, this Fleetwood Mac cover lets Danielle Haim let fly with her crazy axe skills. One of the highlights of the TV coverage of T in the Park.
4) DJ Fresh ft Ellie Goulding - Flashlight
Originally a bonus track on Ellie's Halcyon Days re-release last year, this has been given a fresh lick of paint and turned into DJ Fresh's new single. As they said in the 70s: Reduce, Reuse, Recycle.
5) Moko - Your Love
Produced by Chase & Status (for whom Moko sang Count On Me last year) this chiming soul-house track is a guaranteed floor-filler. Nice pigtails, too.
7) Pharrell - Get Lucky (live at T In The Park)
Great performance from Pharrell on last year's song of the summer. I'm not sure "make it rain" means the same in Scotland as it does in his native Virginia, though.
8) Marina and the Diamonds - Untitled new song
This brief snippet, posted on Instagram during the week, is the first taster of Marina's forthcoming third album.
A simple piano/vocal, with shades of Lana Del Rey (or anyone else who sings over a piano, to be honest) it sounds extremely promising: "There's no rush anymore, time's on my side," sings Marina, "All my worries are gone, I'm enjoying the ride."
9) Mike Mago & Dragonette - Outlines
Pop's best kept secret (that's Dragonette) team up with some Dutch guy (that's Mike Mago) for this dreamy dance track. Too deep to match the chart success of Dragonette's previous collaboration - Martin Solveig's Hello - this is a welcome addition to my summer playlist nonetheless.
10) Indiana - Heart on Fire
I meant to post this two weeks ago when it came out, then my brain went fzzrt.
Better late than never, though, here's Nottingham-born newcomer Indiana (aka Lauren Henson) with a great big "sobbing over a drum machine" popballad. Fans of Robyn will like this quite a lot.
11) Sigma ft Paloma Faith - Changing
As fresh and exciting today as it was on Monday, when I first wrote about it - even though, as Don't Falter hitmaker Mint Royale pointed out, it's "obviously based on a Lana sample which they've then replaced with 'something similar'".
Interesting choice of outfit from Paloma, as ever.
Marina and the Diamonds has bumped off her Electra Heart "character" after approximately 20 months of struggling to explain what the whole thing was about (summary: love, fame, femininity and dressing up).
The singer said goodbye to her creation in an emotional tweet late last night.
Goodbye, Electra Heart !
— MARINA &THE DIAMONDS (@MarinasDiamonds) August 8, 2013
And then her profile picture changed from a promo shot of Electra, to a photo of Marina wearing regular Marina clothes.
Whatever you think of the concept (and Marina eventually conceded it boiled down to "being in love with someone who doesn't love you"), Electra Heart was a fucking great pop record. The sucker-punch opening salvo of Bubblegum Bitch, Primadonna and Lies was the best start to a pop album since Tangled Up.
Ever thoughtful, Marina has left us with a parting gift - a new song, appropriately called Electra Heart, with a video mashing up footage from all 11 (!) of the promos she shot for the project. It ends with the singer smudging the heart-shaped birthmark off her cheek, which is terribly significant and symbolic if you're into that sort of thing.
Thanks, then, Electra. We had no idea what you were on about half the time, but you made some ball-busting pop songs along the way.
Marina And The Diamonds promised to make a video for every song on her Electra Heart album come hell, high water, or bankruptcy. So here's video number 10, for one of the album's best tracks, Lies - a heartbreak ballad that shudders so hard, it's like the keyboards themselves are wracked with tears.
"You only want to touch me in the dark," sings Marina. "Only when you're drinking can you see my spark". These aren't lyrics, they're scars.
Marina once described Lies as "very personal" and "completely honest". Fittingly, then, she's scrubbed off all her make-up, bar the (Electra) heart-shaped beauty spot. And she looks even more gorgeous than ever.
In other good news, Marina is releasing a new(-ish) album later this year. She's only just announced the title - 11 Diamonds - and the artwork, but the idea seems to be that it will feature previously unreleased tracks, recorded between 2008-2010. It's being compiled by her first record label, Neon Gold, which released the single Obsessions in 2008 and the Crown Jewels EP in 2009, before handing Ms Diamandis over to the lovely people at Atlantic.
More details forthcoming on www.elevendiamonds.co - which looks like an incomplete URL, but isn't.
The one thing people forget about Top Of The Pops is that, for every heart-stopping performance by The KLF or Destiny’s Child, you had to sit through half-a-dozen dismal efforts by Eiffel 65 or Jive Bunny. Yes, it’s bad that primetime TV continues to snub the music industry, but maybe the people who gave us Peter Andre got what they deserved.
Anyway, thanks to the beauty of YouTube, you can now curate your own Top Of The Pops with the added benefit of zero Fearne Cotton. For instance, if you trawl through the last seven days of chat shows and Jools Hollands, you could compile an episode featuring Vampire Weekend, Rudimental, Thom Yorke, Marina and the Diamonds, Yeah Yeah Yeahs and Phoenix. But we kick off the show with the biggest song in the world right now...
The last time Charli XCX recorded a duet it was the almighty I Love It (with Icona Pop), so expectations are high for this collaboration with Marina "And The Diamonds".
Just Desserts isn't as much of a knock-down-the-door-and-kick-you-in-the-nuts pop monster as the earlier effort; but it is very good. Twiddly piano figures, huffalumping basslines, and a spooky scary oooOOooOooOoOHHHoooowwWWoooOOoOo vocal from Marina.
Best of all, it's a free download in celebration of the raven-haired pop artistes joint US tour, so you can put it in your pocket and take it on the bus. *Technology high five*
I'm taking a quick break from the blog to send some time in Paris. I've already seen their version of X Factor (awful, gaudy, just like the original) and a dubbed version of House MD (where Hugh Laurie is apparently voiced by a lisping French Syd Owen).
While I'm off, here are a few videos I've added to the holiday playlist.
1) Marina and the Diamonds - State Of Dreaming
It's amazing they still let Marina make videos for the Electra Heart album - but I'm pleased they do. This is decidedly low-budget, focusing almost entirely on a single shot of Ms Diamantis lip-syncing to State Of Dreaming, one of the more "bells-and-whistles" tracks from the album. She looks gorgeous, though, and they even splash out on some confetti for the climax. Lovely.
2) Arlissa - Sticks and Stones
Finally out this week, Arlissa's "proper" debut single still sends shivers up the spine. Worth 79p of your hard-earned cash, surely?
3) Chloe Howl - Rumours
According to our Dulux colour wheel, orange and green are opposite but complimentary, so well done to Chloe Howl for the striking colour scheme on her debut video. The low-key performance reminds us of early Sugababes appearances - but the shifty eyes suit the song's subject matter to a 't'.
This one's also available now, as a free download on Chloe's website. Well, I say free, but you have to surrender your email address so Chloe can email you incessantly with "news" about "product". Hopefully the mailing list will also have one of those birthday form letters so we can get a personalised email greeting from Chloe next to the ones from Shane Ward and Bucks Fizz.
...and that's it for a week. A bientot, mes petits choux-fleurs.
Here begins the weekly clearout of the pop music stockpile. Some great music follows in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...
1) Rihanna ft Mikky Ekko - Stay
Oh look, Rihanna's taking a bath and singing a song all in the nudey buff. (Phwoar, right?) Would be better if she was singing into a bottle of Mr Matey.
3) Lana Del Rey - Burning Desire Surely this, the 9,236th video from Lana's debut album, must be the last? If you haven't heard it yet, Burning Desire is one of the broody, carnal bonus tracks from the expanded edition ("I have to touch myself to pretend you're there," she croons, the perv). The video takes the album campaign full circle, recycling the "Lana and some tigers" motif from the Born To Die video.
4) The Strokes - All The Time
Much more "on message" than the electropop teaser track One Way Trigger, this is the first proper release from The Strokes' fifth album, Comedown Machine. The lyrics are utter rubbish ("no-one talks about the war / on my block or on the shore") but Julian Casablancas' facility with a catchy melody is undiminished.
5) Duke Dumont ft A*M*E - Need U (100%)
I'm a big fan of wide-eyed pop spangler A*M*E, and I'm a big fan of the resurgence of 1990s deep house. This track combines them both in one great hedonistic, glowsticks aloft, baggy pants, bring-back-Whigfield, dance frenzy. 100% approved.
7) Jessie Ware - Diamonds
By contrast, this is sublime. A cover from the Radio 1 Live Lounge that genuinely improves on the original. Can Jessie Ware do no wrong? No, she cannot do no wrong. Wait, is that right? Too many negatives? I'm confused.
As 2012 disappears in the rear view mirror, I've tackled my iTunes library to see which albums I listened to most. There are a few surprises (I don't remember listening to this much Michael Kiwanuka) and some glaring omissions (Emeli Sande - presumably because she was on TV so often it rendered the album redundant).
But I am glad to say the Frank Ocean album didn't make the top 10 because, let's be honest, it's patchy and inconsistent and that Forrest Gump song is utter balls.
10) Jack White - Blunderbuss
Where would rock be without failed relationships? From Fleetwood Mac's Rumours to Amy Winehouse's Back To Black, other people's tragedies have inspired some of pop's best songs. Jack White is no exception - his break-up from Karen Elson fuelling his first solo album. It is by no means a coincidence that it's his best work since The White Stripes' Elephant.
"When they tell you that they just can't live without you," he sings at one point. "They ain't lyin', they'll take pieces of you". The lyrics on this album prompted one newspaper to write a hysterical rant about White's supposed misogyny. Admittedly, it seems cruel that he made his ex-wife sing the backing vocals, but there's more to this album than a crude hatred of women. Blunderbuss is blistering with hurt, fury and cynicism - and it's all the better for it.
9) Scissor Sisters - Magic Hour
"You may not hear this on MTV," sings Jake Shears on Best In Me. "No big deal. Fine by me." Sadly, he was right - programmers on radio and TV never really threw their weight behind this album, leading the band to announce they were going on "indefinite hiatus" at the end of the year. If Magic Hour proves to be their swansong, at least it was a good one. Highlights included the Neptunes-produced Inevitable and the sleazy Shady Love, featuring Azealia Banks.
8) Alt-J - An Awesome Wave
Proving that singing like Kermit The Frog needn't necessarily be a handicap, Alt-J walked away with the Mercury Prize in November. An Awesome Wave is one of those records that makes awards committees feel smart, with its intricate pararhythms, lyrics about maths, and a capella interludes. But it wears it lightly, burying all the trickery beneath some gorgeous tunes, in particular the hit single Tessellate. Which is about interlocking body parts, of course.
7) Michael Kiwanuka - Home Again
Poor old Michael Kiwanuka. A winner of numerous hyperbolic "sound of" polls in January, his profile seemed to flatline around Valentine's Day. He probably prefers it that way, though. Home Again is shot through with a sunny spirituality that megastardom would have destroyed... Listening back to the album this morning, I was struck by how the sepia-tinged Al Green grooves would have been the perfect soundtrack to the summer. If only we'd had one.
6) Grimes - Visions
Grimes is Canada's Claire Boucher, and Visions is her third album. It sounds so completely unlike anything else that critics all seemed to come unstuck trying to review it. "The sound of an internal war," said the NME. Pitchfork described it as "post-internet" and if you can work out what this reviewer (who actually uses the vomit-inducing phrase "wet dream pop") is on about, I will give you £10.
The Onion's AV Club got it right for me, calling the album "a cryptic blur of impressions" - capturing the way Boucher's floaty, ephemeral vocals and echo-drenched electro beats slowly coalesced into a work of sublime, unhinged genius.
5) Marina & The Diamonds - Electra Heart
Marina went off to LA to construct this album with top-flight songwriters like Greg Kurstin and Rick "Belinda Carlisle" Nowles and, by God, did it produce results. The first 30 minutes of the album are flawless - the best "side one" of the year.
Electra Heart was initially touted as a "concept" - something to do with American femme fatale archetypes - but, as Marina later confessed, all it's really about is "being young and being in love with someone who doesn't love you". It's the female counterpart to Jack White's break-up album - but with monstrous godzilla pop hooks destroying everything in their path. Awesome.
4) The Staves - Dead and Born and Grown
The Staves were my bandcrush of the year, even if everyone else ignored them (this album crept into the charts at number 42 for a single week). Three sisters from Watford, they perform bluegrass-inspired folk harmonies with unnerving clarity and beauty. Their debut album was produced by Ethan Johns (Laura Marling) and his dad Glyn (The Beatles) but all these veteran knob-twiddlers really had to do was sit back and let Staveley siblings sing. Uncluttered and beguiling, Dead And Born And Grown is like snuggling up under a warm duvet on a stormy night.
3) Regina Spektor - What We Saw From The Cheap Seats
At first it seemed underwhelming - Regina retreading old ground and even recycling old tunes (Ne Me Quitte Pas first appeared, in a very different guise, on 2002's Songs). But What We Saw From The Cheap Seats was one of those albums that kept calling me back. In particular, the heartbreaking ballad How, about fading memories of love, and All The Rowboats, written from the point of view of a painting in a museum. It's a subtle record, refining rather than reinventing Regina's style, but it will take root in your soul.
2) Jessie Ware - Devotion
People compared her to Sade. That was unfair. Jessie Ware's album had more blood and grit than anything Sade ever produced - from its rumbling sub bass, to the self-sacrifice in Taking In Water. The sensual Wildest Moments was my single of the year, while 110% is the best song about dancing on your own since Robyn's... Dancing On My Own.
One of the few R&B albums of the year to make any kind of attempt at melody, Devotion rivals Solange's Losing You in signposting where the genre should head in 2013.
1) Lana Del Rey - Paradise
What the top three albums on this list have in common is that the artist has carved out a sound that is instantly, undeniably their own. Lana Del Rey's debut album is equal parts 1950s torch songs, hip-hop insouciance, and the car crash scene from Great Gatsby. Half of the songs here wouldn't work if they were sung by a pitch-perfect X Factor melisma-meister - they need that louche, knowing wink that Lana delivers in her ridiculously affected drawl.
All the brouhaha about her "authenticity" seems ridiculous with the benefit of hindsight. In fact, the confidence and self-belief it took to construct Born To Die's noir pop aesthetic is more authentic than a million Jake Bugg albums. Oh, and the songs are amazing: Video Games, Off To The Races, National Anthem, Blue Jeans, Summertime Sadness. Brilliant work that reveals new secrets even on the 50th listen.
