30 seconds of Rihanna and 12 other songs you may have missed

Here it is: A semi-regular round-up of songs I haven't managed to blog about, from pop powerhouses to rejuvenated indie icons, And ending with two chancers who can't believe their luck.

1) Rihanna - American Oxygen
Rihanna's latest song was teased in a promo for the new basketball season (obviously) which you can see below. It's a meagre 30 seconds, but we'll take what we're given from the Bajan pop queen.





2) Carly Rae Jepsen - I Really, Really Like You
Look, if Tom Hanks agrees to appear in your video, you don't say "no". Even if he insists on "being you". Even if he doesn't really understand how to lip-sync. Even if the climactic dance number is borderline humiliating. Just roll with the punches. It's Hollywood, baby.




3) Marina and the Diamonds - Forget
Congratulations to the hair stylist on this video. Marina looks incredible.

And in "good news" news, the release date of Marina's third album FROOT has been moved forward to 16th March. That's 10 days, people!





4) Madonna - Ghosttown (live)
The best song on Madonna's new album is also her best song in a decade. Easily.

Even the slightly wobbly vocal on this live performance can't rob it of its charm.





5) MIA - Can See Can Do
"Some people see planes, some people see drones" - a typically provocative lyric from MIA, who's back for the first time after 2013's Matangi.

There's no word on whether this is a single or just something she's knocked off in the studio, but it sounds like filler to me.






6) Everything Everything - Distant Past
There's a bit in the mid 8 where this threatens to turn into the Crossroads theme tune - and, what with this being an Everything Everything single, I half suspect it's deliberate.

Otherwise, it's business as usual. Ridiculous falsetto, polyrhythmic drum lines and lyrics like: "Two thumbs, I cross the Rubicon".

It's nice to have them back.




7) The Violent Femmes - Love Love Love Love Love
It's 15 years since the Violent Femmes released new material - and 32 since their ode to onanism Blister In The Sun - but they sound undiminished on their return. And is that an oboe solo??

Recorded on New Year’s Eve in Hobart, Tasmania, its the lead track on a 4-track EP that's coming out on Record Stay.






8) Conor Maynard - Talking About
Let's face it, Conor Maynard is a shit pop star. But if this came on the radio, and someone told you it was the new one from Disclosure, you'd probably be quite impressed.

Well played, sir.





9) Alabama Shakes - Don't Wanna Fight (live on SNL)
The new Alabama Shakes single has been compared to Bob Marley's Could You Be Loved and James Brown's Cold Sweat - which is pretty impressive company - but frontwoman Brittany Howard hinted at another inspiration on SNL, wearing a pair of earrings bearing Prince's lovely face.

Now, where can I get a pair of those?






10) The Staves - Make It Holy
I've run out of ways to gush about The Staves, so let's just accept I like this a lot without any further adjectives.





11) Joywave - Somebody New
Coming out of Rochester, Joywave are making uplifting indie-pop in the vein of Friendly Fires and Passion Pit.

Their new video will please anyone who used to play Tony Hawk games on the PS2, although what it has to do with the song is beyond me.






12) Kid Cudi - Love (ft Ratatat)
Things have been quiet on the Kid Cudi front for quite some time now, so this upload caught fans by surprise on Tuesday night.

An unreleased track from last year's Satellite Flight album, it's an uplifting hug of a record, as Cudi sings: "Don't be so down, come on young homie / You'll be OK, you'll find real love".

Writing on Soundcloud, Cudi says: "Hope it brings you some peace if you have a lonely heart out there. byeeeee :)"





13) Electro Velvet - Still In Love With You
The UK's Eurovision for 2015 is by a Mick Jagger impersonator and a woman who couldn't convince a single person to turn their chair around on The Voice. So that augurs well.

The song itself is an odd fish... basically will.i.am's Bang Bang without the production values. It seems content to repeat its derivative four-bar hook a dozen times without any modulation or progression - which isn't necessarily a bad tactic when you're trying to make a lasting impression in three minutes. But you're left with the overwhelming feeling of "is that really it?"

And that's this week's supplement. Tune in for more tomorrow.

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"Interesting" news from Euro-land

Lena, a tiny brunette mad woman, is representing Germany at this year's Eurovision Song Contest.

Nothing out of the ordinary, you might think, except she won the competition last year. Apparently the rules allow it, though, and Lena is the third winner to return to defend her title (but the first to do so in 50 years).

Now, I was quite a fan of Lena's song Satellite when I went out to report on Eurovision last year. I'm even quoted on Lena's Wikipedia page as saying it was "the first contemporary pop hit Eurovision has produced in decades". Well, we all get carried away sometimes.

This year's entry is a very different kettle of water (I don't put fish in my kettle. Makes the tea taste funny). Sparse and trippy, it sees Lena's wispy vocals accompanied by little more than a lone plucked double bass.

The hook line, and title, is Taken By A Stranger, suggesting a lyrical telegraph about Europe's sex trafficking trade. Or it would, if the rest of the lyrics weren't "hey, mind if I take this chair?" repeated over and over again, for no apparent reason. Maybe something got lost in translation.

Lena - Taken By A Stranger


Not a particularly obvious choice for Eurovision. I wonder how it'll fare in Dusseldorf next month?

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Lost in Oslo

From this morning, I'll be in Norway covering the Eurovision Song Contest for the BBC News website. You can keep up with my exploits by clicking on this link.

It could be quite an interesting year... There's no clear favourite, so it'll be a proper scrap to get to the top of the heap. My personal favourite (so far) is Germany's Lena. Her song, Satellite, sounds like an original song by Berlin's premier Kate Nash cover band.

Yet somehow, in the aftermath of that musical car wreck, Lena has grown a fresh little pop cabbage. It's a miracle of twisted metaphors.

Lena - Satellite


See you on the other side!

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Eurovision 2010: The lyrics

I'll be heading out to Norway for the Eurovision Song Contest next month and, as part of my "research", I've been creating a word cloud from this year's lyrics. It's not 100% finished (I'm still trying to track down English translations for the Macedonian and Slovenian songs) but I thought you might want to have a look.


(click image to enlarge)

The cloud was created using Wordle, the lyrics came from the official Eurovision site, and I got some of the English language versions from lyricstranslations (although we'll get professional translations for the final version).

I haven't had the time to listen to all 38 entries yet - but two already stand out. First up is Azerbaijain's BIG BALLAD.



Second is the Dutch entry - which wins bonus stars for conforming to every Eurovision steretype in the book. It is so rubbish it might just win.

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From Bolshevism to... this?

Do you think that, when Trotsky founded the Red Army, he ever envisaged the day they would end up accompanying a lesbian pop group in a musical gesture of solidarity with mainland Europe, alongisde a tank that had been painted lurid pink?

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It's been a while, so what has been happening in the world of pop?

:: Rihanna went to number one with her Umberamella. You can stand under it, apparently.

:: Avril Lavigne did not get her waps out for Blender magazine, but they made it look like she did. Avril is not offended, because they paid her in whisky and cupcakes. So that's alright, then.

:: Cheryl Tweedy called Lily Allen a "chick with a dick" after heavy provocation from Gordon Ramsay on his not-as-good-as-it-used-to-be TV show the F-Word. How does she know? Did Ashley Cole [rest of joke deleted on advice of lawyers]?

:: George Michael told Parky that smoking spliffs is, like, totally awesome dude. "Nobody ever came home stoned and beat up their wife," he argues. And they say dope dulls the mind...

:: Beth Ditto got her top off at a concert and people went a bit bananas. It is best not to search for pictures on the internet unless you have a very happy relationship with jam roly poly.

:: Bjork's Volta album was not the return to form we'd all be promised. Instead, it sounded like two cats fighting over a washing machine.

:: Lily Allen wrote a love letter to Cheyl Tweedy on the myspace. "I may not be as pretty as you but at least I write and SING my own songs without the aid of autotune . I must say taking your clothes off , doing sexy dancing and marrying a rich footballer must be very gratifying , your mother must be so proud , stupid bitch ." Ouch!

:: A probably not very legal collection of rare Madonna and Nelly Furtado tracks went online at Only VIP Media. Get them while you can.

:: Michael Jackson is trying to put a stop to an auction of his personal effects which, claim the owners, include paintings of young naked boys. What’s this? Michael Jackson - the cuddly, friendly Peter Pan of Pop - likes pictures of young men all in the buff and nudey? I don't believe a word of this villainous claptrap.

:: Paris Hilton really is going to jail. In the words of Kermit the Frog: "Yayyyyy!"

:: Cheryl Tweedy 'remembered' (was told by a journalist) that Lily Allen has recently called her bandmates ugly and vile and husband Ashley Cole horrendous. "I can't stand people who give it but aren't prepared to get it back," she told The Sun. “I left school a long time ago and have no time for this." "Are you writing this down?" she probably did not add.

:: Germaine Greer read an article I wrote on the BBC website, likening Serbia's Eurovision-winning performance to a slow-motion lesbian porn film. "Shame on him," she wrote in The Guardian. I hold my hands up, Germaine. I've never seen a lesbian porn film. Have you?

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A few things I had to tell you

Still without an internet connection at home (only a week to go, I'm promised) so here's another perfunctory update.

a) I am listening to Amerie's new album, Because I Like It, right now. It is fucking fantastic. Really, really, fucking brilliant. I'm on track seven and there hasn't been a shitty ballad or hideous "crunk" track with Lil' Jon yet. By default, this makes it the best R&B album since 1997.

b) We got tickets to see Prince in London! I nearly wet myself with excitement but in the end I decided just to go "weee" with my mouth instead.

c) Remember the video of the people lip-syncing to the theme tune of Peep Show that I posted last week? It turns out this group of people spend their entire working day making stupid videos for the internet. Look:





I hate them, but I want to be their friends.

d) The Eurovision was brilliant. I wasn't realy expecting to have such a laugh - but I met Terry Wogan, got to play with the pyrotechnics, comiserated with Scooch and flirted with the Georgian lady (through a translator - a rather disconcerting experience). Obviously, the show itself was shit and the voting a joke, but that's what it's all about, no?

That's all for now. Love you, bye!

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Calling London - Hello from Helsinki!!

So I've arrived in Finland for the Eurovision Song Contest. I'm currently in the press area at the Helsinki Hartwall Arena, where everyone else is working and I'm, em, updating my blog. None of the keys are in the right place on this keyboard, which should make the next couple of days a bit more challenging...

I got here at about 1200 local time today. The taxi driver who picked me up at the airport opened our conversation by saying: "You're from England? Your song is crap". He's not wrong, so I've suddenly 'remembered' my Irish heritage.

Anyway, my being out of the UK means continued sporadic updates of this here website which is probably more frustrating for me than it is for you. However, you can read about my Finn fun on the BBC website by pointing your webular browser over here.

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Eurovision - pick of the lyrics

I'm off to Helsinki for the Eurovision Song Contest next week - for work, I hasten to add. I'm not entirely sure what to expect... I hear it's run with ruthless efficiency, and that the fans - most of whom are already there - are a little bit on the psycho nutjob side of sanity. Perhaps I'll end up with the same fixed grin as the two hosts Mikko Leppilampi and Jaana Pelkonen (that's them on the right).

What I have been able to ascertain in advance is the quality of th music. There actually seems to be quite a high standard, given past form. Cyprus, Georgia, Sweden and Finland all have fairly acceptable songs. The less said about the UK's entry - which is one long, tedious knob gag - the better.

But, of course, the main joy of Eurovision is the lyrics. This year sees a paucity of nonsense words (diggy-loo, diggy-lay anyone?!) but there are still some corking attempts to mangle the English language. Here are my favourites so far...


BULGARIA - Elitsa Todorova & Stoyan Yankoulov / Water
Lo, a reckless lad, leading a pony

GERMANY – Roger Cicero / Frauen Regier'n Die Welt
When I found out she wanted to save the environment
I sewed "No thanks" on my parka

ISRAEL - Teapacks / Push The Button
The world is full of terror
If someone makes an error
He's gonna blow us up to biddy biddy kingdom come

FRANCE - Les Fatals Picards / Love The French Way
I am looking for you in the streets
I didn't come because you aren't there any more

CZECH REPUBLIC - Kabát / Little Lady
Behind the railway is her nest
She collects coins from fountains
And then she puts them on the tracks
She's building herself a temple, a bridge made of tin
Already being crossed by the first passenger
So that his legs won't hurt


UKRAINE - Verka Serduchka / Dancing Lasha Tumbai
Hello everybody!
My name is Verka Serduchka
Me English don't understand!
Let's speak DANCE!

Seven, seven, bye-bye
Seven, seven, one, two
Seven, seven, bye-bye
One, two, three

[You can read lyrics from every year of the Eurovision at The Diggiloo Thrush]

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The gigantic arrow of trooth

New Young Pony Club - The Bomb

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Terriffic Tiblisi

As we send a bunch of smug twats off to Eurovision to further degrade the UK's musical heritage, let's take a moment to consider Georgia's entry:



How about that? There's so much happening in that song that I'm not even sure what type of music it is. Electronic? Folk? Power Ballad? It's like Bjork channelling Shirley Bassey in a East Berlin discotheque while the Gipsy Kings hammer on the door with a banjo. And if that wasn't enough, the singer (Sopho Khalvashi) performs in a massive frock from which five people emerge like eggy babies.

You wouldn't have thought it possible, but our clunking parody of Europop (with a knob gag) seems even more lame that it did on Saturday night, doesn't it?

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Sending the redcoats to Helsinki

And so it came to pass that the Great British public chose a group of failed Butlins entertainers to represent them at the 2007 Eurovision Song Contest.



Did you spot all those references to oral sex? Hilarious.

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