Hello, I'm Chris and I'm yellow

Is this the worst prize ever: having a conference call with Coldplay?

Speaking to your rock heroes is always a disenchanting experience, but imagine doing it over the phone with 25 other people listening in. You won't even have the chance whisper "Midnight. I'll be waiting" while you slip your hotel key into Chris Martin's bony fingers.

This hopeless prize has come about because Coldplay's next single is called "Talk" and people talk on phones, you see. If that marketing guy from the Orange adverts was real, he would have suggested this fantastic giveaway.

Mind you, if we all enter, perhaps one of us could spend the entire call playing the Crazy Frog ringtone on our 'other line'. Or, if we co-ordinate properly, we can get all 25 winners to shout "Fuck off and leave us alone" in unison just after Chris picks up his phone. Yes, that would be better.

Enter the competition at Coldplay: talkthetour.com

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