Do we think he's sexy?
As Justin Timberlake's new album is out today, we're asking: "Is he really the man to bring sexy back and was it ever missing in the first place?".
According to an issue of Marie Claire that I've just made up, there are seven key components to sexiness. Does JT have them? Well, does he?
1) Gorgeous eyes
Like Derek Zoolander, Justin has a series of signature looks. I say series, but really I mean three. They are as follows:
Cute puppy dog
Cold steely glare of a killer
Poking eyes out with his fingers
2) Great hair
Having been in the public eye since he was a small mouse, Justin has gone through a series of embarassing haircuts. But we're not here to dwell on those... Oh, alright then.
The pageboy years - not sexy
The dodgy perm years - not sexy
The Swedish exchange student years - definitely not sexy
The receding-hairline-covered-by-a-hat years - not sexy
Current haircut - quite sexy
3) Cool chat-up lines
Let's look at the lyrics to Like I Love You:
I kind of noticed, at the club one night
You've got a full face
It's kind of weird to me, cos you're so nice
If it's up to me your face would change
But we're here tonight
Translation: Hey, minger, fancy a quickie?
Hmm, smooth.
4) Sexy bedroom moves
I admit it, I have no direct experience here, but Justin's a pretty amazing dancer, and there's got to be a reason Cameron Diaz is always smiling like that.
5) Psycho ex-girlfriends
Apparently, sexy men always have dangerously unhinged ex-partners. Justin has Britney. 'Nuff said.
6) Well-dressed
In some cases, yes:
In other cases, not so much:
7) Tanks of money
Justin has three such tanks
Well, frankly, I'm stumped. Does Justin have enough sexy in him to bring sexy back to the masses, who are currently starved of sexiness because of the sexy famine? Is Justin a modern day Joseph and his amazing technicoour dreamcoat, only with sexiness instead of food, and no coat to speak of? And does that make his resemblance to Jason Donovan even more spooky than it is already?
Only you can decide. Vote below:
PS Justin's new album is called Futuresex/Lovesounds. Am I right in thinking this will be a collection of sound effects from a space-age porno?
According to an issue of Marie Claire that I've just made up, there are seven key components to sexiness. Does JT have them? Well, does he?
1) Gorgeous eyes
Like Derek Zoolander, Justin has a series of signature looks. I say series, but really I mean three. They are as follows:
Cute puppy dog
Cold steely glare of a killer
Poking eyes out with his fingers
2) Great hair
Having been in the public eye since he was a small mouse, Justin has gone through a series of embarassing haircuts. But we're not here to dwell on those... Oh, alright then.
The pageboy years - not sexy
The dodgy perm years - not sexy
The Swedish exchange student years - definitely not sexy
The receding-hairline-covered-by-a-hat years - not sexy
Current haircut - quite sexy
3) Cool chat-up lines
Let's look at the lyrics to Like I Love You:
I kind of noticed, at the club one night
You've got a full face
It's kind of weird to me, cos you're so nice
If it's up to me your face would change
But we're here tonight
Translation: Hey, minger, fancy a quickie?
Hmm, smooth.
4) Sexy bedroom moves
I admit it, I have no direct experience here, but Justin's a pretty amazing dancer, and there's got to be a reason Cameron Diaz is always smiling like that.
5) Psycho ex-girlfriends
Apparently, sexy men always have dangerously unhinged ex-partners. Justin has Britney. 'Nuff said.
6) Well-dressed
In some cases, yes:
In other cases, not so much:
7) Tanks of money
Justin has three such tanks
Well, frankly, I'm stumped. Does Justin have enough sexy in him to bring sexy back to the masses, who are currently starved of sexiness because of the sexy famine? Is Justin a modern day Joseph and his amazing technicoour dreamcoat, only with sexiness instead of food, and no coat to speak of? And does that make his resemblance to Jason Donovan even more spooky than it is already?
Only you can decide. Vote below:
PS Justin's new album is called Futuresex/Lovesounds. Am I right in thinking this will be a collection of sound effects from a space-age porno?
Labels: Justin Timberlake, Music
posted by mrdiscopop at 5:13 PM
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