Monday, April 11, 2011

Janet Jackson "bitten by a monkey"

This weekend, my wife was cleaning out the Discopop archives and stumbled across this gem: The first ever entertainment news story I wrote for the BBC. Penned back in 2001, it combined two of my then-obsessions: Janet Jackson and Alan Partridge. I'd argue it's the best thing I've written before or since.


As you can probably imagine, this was never intended for publication - although it probably still resides somewhere on the BBC's internal training servers. Indeed, I like to think that, after the apocalypse, a resilient team of survivors will emerge from their underground cave system, after centuries of destitution have erased all knowledge of the world we now call home. At some point, as they try to rebuild society, they will stumble across the BBC's training servers and, using primitive methods of data extraction, piece together the most surreal image of pre-armageddon civilisation you could imagine.

If for some reason, you'd like a PDF of this momentous document, you can click this link. [Janet's Monkey Trauma - PDF]

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