Congratulations to Janet Jackson and Wissam Al Mana, who have just had their first baby - a boy named Eissa Al Mana.
As new parents, their most important task will be to ensure there's a constant supply of chocolate bars to help power through those 3am feeding sessions. Once you have that, it's all plain sailing (NB: It really isn't).
But as Eissa grows older, he'll turn to his mum for life advice. What can she, a globe-straddling pop icon who made her first stage appearance at the age of seven, tell the youngster about the real world?
Well, it turns out she's already provided invaluable guidance through her lyrics. Here's a sample:
1) "You can't run away from your pain
Because where ever you run
There you will be."
(From Special, on the Velvet Rope album)
Written after an emotional breakdown and a period of depression, it sees Janet acknowledge and accept her demons: An vital coping technique to pass on to your offspring.
Less essential is the follow-up line: "You have to learn to water your spiritual garden." Ew.
2) "No, my first name ain't baby.
It's Janet - Ms. Jackson if you're nasty"
(From Nasty, on Control)
Respecting your mum is the first step towards respecting all women. And eat your greens, young man, or there'll be trouble.
3) "In complete darkness
We are all the same
It is only our knowledge and wisdom
That separates us
Don't let your eyes deceive you"
(From In Complete Darkness, on Rhythm Nation)
Janet recently sang that her pleas for racial tolerance on Rhythm Nation made her "the poster child for being naive" but, given the current political climate, this message is as powerful and relevant as it was in 1989. It works equally well as a prelude to a game of pin the tail on the donkey.
While medically inaccurate, these words will comfort any child whose teddy bear gets his head ripped off in the ball pit of a soft play centre.
5) "Let's wait a while
Before we go too far"
(From Let's Wait A While, on the Control album)
Janet's hymn to chastity, from her breakthrough album, Control, is sound advice for young teenagers. But if it falls on deaf ears, hearing your mum sing "I wanna feel your sexplosion" (from the excruciatingly-titled Sexhibition) will easily put Eissa off sex until he's 34, thus avoiding any unwanted celebrity scandals.
6) "Because of my gender
I've heard "no" too many times
Because of my race
I've heard "no" too many times
But with every "no", I grow in strength
That is why, African-American woman,
I stand tall with pride."
(From New Agenda, on the Janet album)
No jokes. This one just sets an awesome example of strength and resilience in the face of hardship. It's taken from New Agenda, tucked away in the middle of Janet's so-called "sex album". It was pretty much the Lemonade of its day, but with Chuck D on it.
On reflection, it's probably best not to live your life according to pop lyrics, eh?
Janet Jackson is 49 and pregnant but, man, she's still got the moves.
Directed by Dave Meyers (Katy Perry's Firework, Missy Elliot's Lose Control), the video for Dammn Baby has a simple, performance-based set-up that allows Ms Jackson and her crew of dancers to show off the precision of Gil Duldulao's click-snap choreography.
Eagle-eyed viewers will spot a cameo from Kyndall Harris, 13, and Taylor Hatala, 12, who've been touring with Janet and recently created a viral video for Desiigner's US number one single Panda.
Associated Press went behind the scenes on the video, which is more interesting than it sounds.
Happy new year! And now that 2015 is finally behind us, here is a "definitive" list of the year's best albums, as dictated by my iTunes play counts.
I'm afraid it's bad news for Adele.
10) Lana Del Rey - Honeymoon
The modern flourishes and hip-hop beats have been erased, allowing Lana to plunge headfirst into her oily black pool of languorous melodrama. The songs are stronger, the melodies more memorable, her vocals more confidently authored. And anyone who accuses her of being submissive isn’t listening properly. “The truth is,” she sighs. "I never bought into your bullshit.” Well, quite.
9) Wolf Alice - Our Love Is Cool
Wolf Alice were so confident in their debut album that they left off their best single - Moaning Lisa Smile. The fact you don’t miss it only validates their chutzpah. Four years in the making, My Love Is Cool mixes up the grunge-lite of their early EPs with ethereal, melodic rock and - on Freazy - blissed out psych-pop. A surprisingly accessible rock record.
8) Years & Years - Communion
Olly Alexander paints a depressing picture of 21st century romance, with lyrics like "I'll do what you like if you stay the night" and "Let me take your heart / Love you in the dark / No one has to see." But, to be honest, I didn't notice until I wrote this list. The words wash over you - but the music is crisp, smart and surprisingly deep.
7) Ibeyi - Ibeyi
French-Cuban twins Lisa and Naomi Díaz sing in a mixture of Yoruba and English, mixing deep soul with African tradition, Cuban jazz and electronic samples. It shouldn't work - but the result is one of the most textured, original albums of the year.
6) Chvrches - Every Open Eye
Juddering synth-pop with a soft centre, thanks to Lauren Mayberry’s songbird vocals, which somehow manage to convey strength and vulnerability at the same time. Every Open Eye is essentially a streamlined version of Chvrches' debut album, with value-addded stadium-ready choruses. Even the one where the bloke sings isn’t that bad.
5) Courtney Barnett - Sometimes I Sit and Think, and Sometimes I Just Sit
The best record, lyrically-speaking, of the year. It opens with Courtney trying to stop a suicidal teenager jumping off a building - only to discover he’s just admiring the view. Later, she trains an acerbic eye on people moving to the suburbs and buying organic vegetables. It’s like a Woody Allen film, set to sloppy lo-fi punk. In other words: Magnificent.
4) Carly Rae Jepsen - E•MO•TION
In the making of this album, Carly Rae Jepsen recorded and rejected songs with Swedish pop overlord Max Martin. That should give you an idea of the quality threshold. She beats Taylor Swift at her own game, crafting a hazy 80s wonderland, full of reverberant saxophones and ridiculous synth hits - but never puts her baby toe over the cheese threshold. The lyrics constantly subvert pop cliche ("I think I broke up with my boyfriend today - but I've got worse problems"), while Your Type is a more heartbreaking than 7.8 million Adele albums combined.
3) Kendrick Lamar - To Pimp A Butterfly
Police violence, white fear, black hypocrisy, media manipulation, the devil's temptation, fame, sex, depression, income tax... Is there a topic To Pimp A Butterfly doesn't tackle? The year's biggest album - conceptually and musically - is initially hard to digest, but proffers fresh rewards every time you listen. Bonus points for extended use of jazz clarinet.
2) Janet Jackson - Unbreakable
A solid gold return to form after a run of hopeless misfires. What changed? Well, for the first time since The Velvet Rope, Janet has something to say - musing on the nature of love and loss after a decidedly dark decade. Broken Hearts Heal, her tribute to Michael, is philosophical ("Broken hearts live longer") without being cloying; while Lessons Learned is a nuanced examination of domestic abuse. Add to that the slinky No Sleeep and the Sly Stone tribute Gon B Alright and you have an album as classy as it is catchy. (Although you could trim off tracks 11, 12, 13 and 15 and never miss them).
1) Tove Styrke - Kiddo
Fierce, funny and irresistible - Kiddo is Swedish pop with the autopilot smashed to smithereens. Tove Styrke mocks her Swedish Idol background ("Hijack the idea of a girl that obeys / Ha-ha-ha-ha oh my / Laugh it in the face") and spits venom at the self-obsessed ("I hope you hit the ground hard when you fell for yourself.") If you like the kilter of your pop set to "off", this is a perfect package.
Well, there you go. If you'd asked me before I consulted iTunes, I'd have said Kendrick Lamar would be number one, and that Marina and the Diamonds or The Staves would creep into the Top 10. But there you go, the play counts don't lie. Turns out I really, really like the Tove Styrke album - and the Years & Years one is good for doing the dishes to. Take that, 2015.
Usually, my Top 10 is a breeze to compile. I look at the songs I listened to most then write them down in order. This year, there were dozens all clustered around the same score - either evidence of a very good year or a totally banal one.
I will say this, though - the Top Five completely took me by surprise. I'd been preparing to write about Kanye's All Day, The Weeknd's Can't Feel My Face and Missy Elliot's WTF (Where They From?) in this list. In the end, they fell just short of the countdown - which proves something, although I'm at a loss to explain what it might be.
10) Demi Lovato - Cool For The Summer
The year's best Katy Perry song in a year where Katy Perry released no songs. Rip-roaring vocals and a terrific guitar riff from the "Sexy! No No No" schools of rock. Could have done without the gratuitous - and grammatically awkward - swear word in verse two.
9) Alessia Cara - Here
An "anti-party anthem"; a "loner anthem"; an "anthem for introverts". The critics' were united - this wasn't just a song about socially awkward teenagers, it was a rallying cry for like-minded souls. Never mind that Alessia Cara is the least introverted pop star this side of Lady Gaga. She just didn't like this one party. Still, with lyrics and melody this good, who's scoring points?
8) Lianne La Havas - What You Don't Do
A simple, sublime love song. "Those three little words are overused," she sings, before smiling: "You don't need to show it - I already know it." Gorgeous.
7) Major Lazer ft MØ - Lean On
It's great to see that a left-field, obtuse pop song like this can still have a global impact - even after it's turned down by Rihanna. Lean On needed a few listens to "bed in", but once I'd fallen under the spell of the lilting rhythm and MØ's unflinchingly positive lyrics (essentially a hipster re-write of the Neighbours theme tune) there was no turning back.
6) Disclosure ft Lorde - Magnets
This slinky story of boyfriend theft is the absolute highlight of Disclosure's ho-hum second album - and here's why. "Lorde was involved with every aspect of the song as opposed to just doing the lyrics and melodies and then leaving the rest to us," Guy Lawrence told Spin. "It was like someone challenging us, someone saying, 'We can get that extra ten percent.'”
5) Janet Jackson - No Sleeep
Janet's six year hiatus gave her a clean slate with the prudish US public, and it didn't hurt that her comeback single was an understated masterpiece. Jam and Lewis's silky-smooth groove recalled That's The Way Love Goes while the lyric - about ruffling the bedsheets with her beau - proved Janet could still sing about sex without using words like "moist".
4) Carly Rae Jepsen - I Really Like You
A 21st Century update of I Should Be So Lucky, with added glitter cannons (courtesy of former Cardigans writer Peter Svennson). The video starred Tom Hanks, for some reason.
3) Little Mix - Black Magic HEY!
Little Mix's venture into "proper" girlband territory (80s pastiche, Motown pastiche, Jason Derulo duet) hasn't been a resounding success - but this song gets everything right. Predictable yet surprising, it transcends the appropriation of Cyndi Lauper's Girls Just Wanna Have Fun to become the most likeable single of the year. Then the "falling in love" coda kicks in and you think to yourself, "why am I grinning?"
2) Kendrick Lamar - King Kunta
I was disappointed that The Weeknd's Michael Jackson rip-off tribute Can't Feel My Face didn't make the Top 10 - but at least this contains an allusion to Smooth Criminal. It is neither as incisive nor as powerful as Kendrick's other big hit of 2015 (Alright was adopted as the rallying cry of the Black Lives Matter movement) but King Kunta sounds much better at parties.
1) Carly Rae Jepsen - Your Type
Move over Sam so-called Smith, this is the saddest pop song of the year. I might be married with two children, but it transports me straight back to 1995 and being infatuated with someone who didn't know I existed. There's something in Carly's delivery - resigned, but hoping her pleas will make a difference - that breaks your heart in two, and then into smaller and smaller fragments with every chorus. It's not the most original or complex song on this list but I found myself singing it at top volume, by myself, in the car at midnight. And that, pop fans, is the ultimate seal of approval.
A semi-regular round-up of songs I wanted to blog about until life got in the way.
This week's superstars include.
1) Tinashe - Player (ft Chris Brown)
Her early EPs were a major influence on the dark, brooding lasciviousness of Beyonce's Beyonce album. Now Tinashe is going for Queen B's crown with a straight-up, chrome-plated pop classic.
The first single from her forthcoming second album, Joyride, it suggests a major push for mainstream success. But one thing is niggling at me: The lyric websites all say she's singing "you got me all fucked up" in the chorus - but surely I'm not the only one who hears "you got me up the duff"?
2) Ellie Goulding - Something In The Way You Move
Simmering electropop from pop's huskiest songstress. Another indication that Delirious will be an album full of solid gold bangers.
3) Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson - Say Say Say (2015 remix)
A souped-up version of the 1983 duet, this swaps around Macca and Jacko's vocals, and is generally a funkier, more upbeat take on the original. Part of a reissue of McCartney's Pipes of Peace album, it has even been blessed with a new video.
Sadly, the single's b-side, Ode to a Koala Bear, has been left untouched.
4) KDA - Turn The Music Louder (ft Tinie Tempah & Katy B)
The backing track feels a little "my first sequencer" but Tinie and Katy lift this track way above the average. Fantastic video, too.
5) Eliza and the Bear - Lion's Heart
A spoonful of Mumford, a sprinkle of Coldplay, and a pinch of The Libertines. Mix it all together, throw in a trumpet and you have Eliza and the Bear's anthemic new single.
Just to reiterate every article that's ever been written about them: Eliza and the Bear are all boys, and none of them is called Eliza.
6) Foxes - Better Love
Windswept, widescreen pop. But even Rihanna would think twice about a music video where the star sits on a toilet (even if she's just painting her toenails).
7) Dua Lipa - New Love
Jessie Ware's silky melodies crossed with the percussive dissonance of Bjork - New Love is an epic introduction to 19-year-old Londoner Dua Lipa. It was produced by Emile Haynie (Lana Del Rey, FKA Twigs), and Andrew Wyatt (Miike Snow), in case that sort of thing matters to you.
8) Frances - Let It Out
Quiet, intense, fragile, beautiful. Frances is a shoo-in for next year's "ones to watch" lists.
9) Jones - Indulge
I missed this song when it came out in April, but it's become a firm favourite after London-born R&B singer Jones performed it on Jools Holland earlier this week. A dramatic, luxurious song about surrendering to love - I present both acoustic and studio versions, because I can't decide which I love most.
10) Bloc Party - The Love Within
Back from their second "hiatus" with a renewed energy, this song is a perfect balance between the shouty whirligig of Bloc Party's indie thrash and the throbbing electronica of Kele Okereke's solo material.
Petite Miller - Barbaric
This lolita-ish French singer is being talked about in all the right places - but I'm just not getting it. Can anyone enlighten me?
11) Olly Murs - Kiss Me
An interesting diversion into "not hateful" territory from pop's perennial hat-botherer and X Factor acolyte.
12) Janet Jackson - BurnItUp! (Ft Missy Elliot)
A lyric video, shot by the cast and crew of Janet's Unbreakable World Tour, this makes life on the road look like an absolute blast.
There's just one week to go before Janet Jackson's long-awaited 11th studio album, Unbreakable, hits the shelves and, let's be honest, it has a heck of a lot to live up to - Janet has sold more than 69 million albums, and scored 10 US number ones in her career.
The signs are good though, with the deep and groovesome No Sleeep the best single Janet's released in years.
But there are plenty of deeper cuts buried in Janet's discography that are worth excavating, even for the casual fan. I've put together a playlist below...
Go Deep and Enjoy.
1) Don't Stand Another Chance
Janet's first two solo albums have been airbrushed out of her official history. And rightly so - they're awful. But this track, from 1984's Dream Street, is the exception. Written and produced by her brother Marlon, it's a frisky disco jam in the vein of Don't Stop Til You Get Enough. Listen closely, and you'll even hear Michael's distinctive vocal hiccups in the background.
2) Diamonds (Herb Alpert ft Janet Jackson and Lisa Keith)
Diamonds popped up on the 1987 album Keep Your Eye On Me by legendary horn-blower Herb Alpert - who also so happened to be Janet's boss at A&M Records. Written after (or during?) the Control sessions, it retains that album's slick funk aesthetic, with a finger-snapping rhythm track reminiscent of Janet's own Nasty. Essential.
3) Alright (UK Hip-Hop mix)
A crunchy, upbeat number about falling in love with a friend, Alright was one of the slightest songs on Janet's 1989 Rhythm Nation album. But the carefree melody lent itself perfectly to remixes (I count 22 official versions, plus dozens of bootlegs). One of the best is CJ Mackintosh and David Dorrell's long-deleted hip-hop mix, which was only ever released in the UK.
4) Strawberry Bounce
2004's Damita Jo was Janet's last million-selling album, overshadowed by the SuperBowl saga and hampered by commercial blacklisting on the Clear Channel radio network (a ban which was enforced for four years). But it contained some of her best work - including a handful of collaborations with an up-and-coming producer called Kanye West. Strawberry Bounce is one of those: A lascivious stripper's anthem in which Janet purrs, "Honey, if you came for a show, I'm gonna make you lose control."
5) Rock With U
By the time of Janet's last album, 2008's Discipline, the public had largely lost interest. And so, it seemed, had she. Discpline was an unforgivably patchy record, whose flashes of brilliance were outweighed by rote R&B jamzzzz and an over-reliance on smut. The futuristic Rock With U was an exception, with Janet dampening her libido and declaring, "let's converse".
6) Together Again (Jimmy Jam Deeper Remix)
One of Janet's signature songs, Together Again is a tribute to the friends she lost to AIDS, whose celebratory chorus ("I can see your star shining down on me") puts a positive spin on tragedy. The version that charted is a flyweight house track - but the CD single (remember those?) contained this R&B version of the song, with re-recorded vocals and a totally different melody.
7) French Blue
Janet's first brush with the Minneapolis sound came via The Time's guitarist Jesse Johnson, who produced two forgettable tracks on her Dream Street album. But then, in a fit of creative frenzy, he tore up those songs (Fast Girls and Pretty Boy) and stitched them back together to create this Frankenstein's monster of a remix. The stuttering, sleazy synths and backmasked vocals make this sound like a lost Prince b-side.
8) And On And On
An off-cut from the janet album, this samples Sly and the Family Stone's iconic Family Affair guitar lick and turns it into a slick, laid-back summer party jam. It overstays it's welcome slightly ("damn this is a long song," Janet observes as it plays out) but its relegation to b-side status illustrates the high standards Janet and Jam and Lewis were setting for themselves in 1992.
9) Who
A bonus track on the Japanese edition of 2001's All For You, this is better than about half of the songs on the official tracklist - with Jam and Lewis clearly cribbing production notes from The Neptunes. Pure dancefloor catnip.
10) Say You Do
A minor club hit from Janet's eponymous first album, Say You Do shows what the singer was up against before she defied her managers (and her parents) to make Control. Say You Do isn't a bad song, per se, but is very much Jackson 5-lite. Janet gives a generous vocal performance but - despite the title - the song has nothing to say.
11) You Need Me
After the success of Control, Janet's label predictably demanded a second volume of that record's defiant coming-of-age anthems. They went so far as to propose a title, Scandal, and a subject matter - dishing the dirt on the Jackson family's feuds. What's surprising is that Janet initially ran with the idea. You Need Me, which became the b-side to Miss You Much, is an angry riposte to Joe Jackson: "Daddy he was distant. never there to hold my hand... Mother made up for him, always watching over me". In the end, the Rhythm Nation concept was stronger (and the songs better) but this is a fascinating insight into the work in progress.
12) Rope Burn
While Janet's reliance on bedroom ballads eventually grew tedious, this one, from the Velvet Rope album, stands out for its sense of humour ("tie me up, tie me down"). It was a nightly highlight on her Velvet Rope tour, as Janet would bring an audience-member on stage and pole dance for them, as they looked increasingly uncomfortable in the trouser department - you can see an example here. The song gets bonus points for inventive use of a flex-a-tone.
13) Burnitup! (ft Missy Elliot)
Taken from Janet's new album, Unbreakable, and premiered on her world tour, this is a crunchy, club-ready dance track on which Janet sounds re-energised after her seven-year hiatus. It also marks Missy Elliot's third appearance on one of the star's songs, a relationship which began on the caustic Son Of A Gun back in 2001.
14) What's It Gonna Be?
The $2m video for this Busta Rhymes duet was something of an eye-opener, with Janet in a purple latex suit covered in cock rings and Busta transforming into a CGI sperm. Well, why not?
15) Someday Is Tonight
The closing track on Rhythm Nation is essentially a sequel to the hit single Let's Wait Awhile. Where once Janet had preached abstinence "before we go to far", now she was "ready to give up my love." It's still rather coy, with all the heavy petting left to Herb Alpert's fantastically sexy trumpet solo (yes, you read that right). Most importantly, the song paved the way for the declarations of sexual maturity on Janet's next album - the 20 million-selling janet.
Let's just gloss over the three week gap in posts (the longest unscheduled break I've taken in 11 years) and crack on with some great music.
Here's what you (I) missed.
1) Justin Bieber - What Do You Mean?
Justin's first UK number one, and deservedly so, this is a collaboration with Skrillex and Diplo, as part of their Jack U project. It's been around since Christmas, slowly creeping into people's consciousness, thanks to an understated and, dare I say, emotional performance from the former brat. Best bit is the summery flute solo which, it turns out, is actually a heavily-processed vocal sample.
2) Taylor Swift - Wildest Dreams
This is a song from Taylor Swift's underappreciated recent album 1989. The video has caused some controversy because the lion does not eat Taylor's face off, or something.
3) Halsey - New Americana (live)
Why Ashley Nicolette Frangipane decided to adopt a stage name is beyond me... Maybe there was another Ashley Frangipane registered with ASCAP?
It doesn't really matter, though, when her music is this catchy. New Americana is a strident pop anthem set to a marching beat, in which the 20-year-old declares the next generation of Americans was "raised on Biggie and Nirvana". Imaginging the British equivalent - "raised on Dizzee and the Gallaghers" - makes Halsey's version seem even cooler.
4) Half Moon Run - Turn Your Love
Montreal indie outfit Half Moon Run scored Annie Mac's "Hottest Record" accolade on Tuesday with this skittering, psychedelic track. It starts off like an Alt-J cast off but builds into a beautiful crescendo with a "was that really human" falsetto.
5) Jarryd James - Sure Love
A laid back, loose fitting love ballad from Brisbane's Jarryd James, who scored a top 10 hit in Australia earlier this year and has been working extensively with Lorde's producer, Joel Little.
This song, however, comes via US super-producer Malay (Frank Ocean), who sprinkles his vocals over a twinkling Rhodes piano and a pleasingly chunky tambourine sound. Luscious listening.
6) Troye Sivan - Wild
Strewth, it's another Aussie singer-songwriter. Troye Sivan hails from Perth, and is being tipped for big things by the likes of Rolling Stone and Popjustice (who, somewhat prematurely, named him "pop entity of 2014").
He makes pop music that's quietly anthemic (if such a thing is possible), delivering monumental hooks with a subtle intimacy. Wild is the "big single", capturing the first tilt of romance, when you're walking home from a club with someone new and thinking: "Oh my God, they're hot".
It's the title track of his new six-song EP which, he says, is a mere snapshot of the "upwards of sixty" songs he's written over the last year. Expect big things.
7) Janet Jackson - Unbreakable
The title track, and opening number, from Janet's new album is a supple, funky little number about gaining strength from your friends and family. "The truth is that I wouldn’t be here Without the love I stand on," sings Janet over an old-time soul groove.
I've said it before, but everything about this new Janet project screams "return to form".
8) Oh Wonder - Livewire (live lounge)
Oh Wonder are something of an indie sensation. They appeared on Soundcloud last year, describing themselves simply as a "writing duo, releasing one song a month for a year." They did just that, captivating their small band of followers with a sequence of fragile, melodic songs set to heavy - if subdued - hip-hop beats.
Last week, they popped into Radio One for their first ever session... which also turned out to be their first ever live performance. Rarely do bands emerge so perfectly formed - but these guys are the real deal.
9) Alexx Mack - Sunglasses
2015 is turning out to be a vintage year for uncomplicated, balls out pop - from Demi Lovato's Cool For The Summer, to Little Mix's Black Magic. I guess we have Taylor Swift to thank.
The latest entry into canon is a minor one, but worth noting simply for the lyric: "Let's wake up naked and make out". Think Charli XCX by way of Katy Perry and you'll get the idea.
10) John Newman - Tiring Game (ft Charlie Wilson)
John Newman's been threatening to go gospel for ages. Now he finally goes for it, on this frantically cheesy duet with Charlie Wilson. A Philip Bailey and Phil Collins for the sound system generation.
11) Grace Mitchell - Jitter
Left-field, glitchy, speaker-threatening pop from 16-year-old Grace Mitchell, who is signed to Republic Records - home to Lorde and Taylor Swift.
The big surprise is that this avant garde track is produced by Mark Foster of Foster The People "fame".
12) Avicii - For A Better Day
Taking his cues from Mumford and Sons, Avicii has dropped the banjos and gone stadium rock. I'm not kidding.
13) Chvrches - Leave A Trace (Four Tet Remix)
Deconstructing Chvrches' wall of synths and viewing the debris through a haze of television distortion, this is an unsettling, but brilliant, remix. The original's still better, though.
Janet Jackson's new album still doesn't have a release date but now we know (via the tweet below) that it's called Unbreakable - which sounds like the sort of thing her late brother would have chosen.
The tweet also includes a link to another new song, The Great Forever - a midtempo empowerment jam that confirms the suspicion she's back on form.
ABC also broadcast footage of the photoshoot for Janet's album this morning... Click on the image above to see the full-length portrait and ask yourself the question "has she not aged since 1993??"
Here's the video for Janet Jackson's long-awaited comeback single, No Sleeep (yes, that's really how it's spelt). Cunningly, it makes passing reference to several of the star's previous clips - That's The Way Love Goes (the setting); If (costume and lighting); Any Time, Any Place (firelit boudoir); What Have You Done For Me Lately (the early scenes are edited to look like a single take); and I Get Lonely (the hat).
The song's a sultry ode to Janet's lover and the things she might do to him when he comes back from a trip away. "It oughta be a weekend marathon," she sings - presumably in anticipation of watching a box set of Orange Is The New Black.
Based on the album version, the video contains a new rap from J Cole which really elevates the latter half of the song. His verse gives the boyfriend's perspective: "You bring cooked food and I bring dessert," thus proving the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
A semi-regular round-up of noteworthy songs, videos, and musical ephemera from the blog's "to do" list.
Lots of great new songs here, proving that 2015 isn't going to be quite the dud it seemed two months ago.
1) Demi Lovato - Cool For The Summer (lyric video)
In pop, the smallest details matter. Here, it's the portamento on the phrase "body type" that transforms the chorus from predictable to phenomenal.
After you watch the lyric video, you may also wish to see this out-take, in which Demi takes a nasty fall then totally styles it out by diving into a pool. Classy.
2) Example - Whisky Town
For those of you who don't live in London, this is what the morning commute is like EVERY DAY.
3) Kwabs - Fight For Love
I thought this was going to be a yawnsomely earnest electro-soul track - but then the hop-skip chorus came along and swept me off my feet. Delightful stuff.
5) Melissa Steel - You Love Me (ft Wretch 32)
A year after Melissa Steel scored a top 10 hit with Kisses For Breakfast, she returns with this irrepresible Rodney Jerkins-produced track. Would sound perfect while dancing under a sprinkler on a scorching hot summer day.
6) Little Mix - Black Magic (acoustic)
Damn, those girls can sing.
7) Sigala - Easy Love
I'm not sold on this - but it sounds like it'll be massive. A balls-out Balearic anthem that chops up Michael Jackson's vocals from ABC to impressive effect.
8) Janet Jackson - No Sleeep (lyric video)
A "glimpse into our creative space" or "a surprisingly low budget lyric video". You decide.
9) Leon Bridges - Smooth Sailin'
In lesser hands, Leon Bridges' retro-fitted soul would be a kitsch curiosity. But that voice. Man, that voice.
10) Eden XO - Torn / Don't Stop Believin'
It's Natalie Imbruglia's Torn! It's Journey's Don't Stop Believing! It's a new song in its own right! It's better than it could have been!
11) Rob Madin - Amnesia Du Soleil
AKA The bloke of Brett Domino, who's surprisingly joke-averse solo material is worth a listen. Also, the video stars Legs & Co.
Here it is, then, the first single from Janet Jackson's "comeback" album, after a seven year hiatus.
No Sleeep is a slinky, slow-burner in the tradition of That's The Way Love Goes. Janet's in full-on seductress mode, singing about a "weekend marathon" (she means sex) and declaring "I'm going to be the queen of insomnia" (because of the sex).
It's a grower, for sure (because of the sex). But my first impression is a robust 7/10.
Janet Jackson's first new music in five years appeared without warning on the star's Twitter feed earlier today.
Putting her vooice front and centre, it's a simple track with a simple thank you message to her fans: "I lived through my mistakes / It's just a part of growing / And never for a single moment did I ever go without your love / You made me feel wanted / I wanna tell you how important you are to me."
Sounding more like a Velvet Rope-era interlude than a fully-fledged song, the confessional tone and raw vocals still signal a return to form after a series of confused and aimless albums.
According to Entertainment Tonight, the song will appear on Janet's upcoming album, Unbreakable, which discusses "the human spirit, love, marriage, Janet's precious family, and her fans."
The first single is set to be No Sleep - deliberately recalling a lyric on Go Deep, one of her most effortless pop songs. She's also announced a world tour, kicking off in Vancouver this August. So far, though, all 36 dates are scheduled for the US, suggesting a "wait-and-see" approach to the international outings.
Like A Prayer, Raw Like Sushi, 3 Feet High and Rising: 1989 produced a lot of albums that have stayed with me well into adulthood. But none had a bigger impact than Janet Jackson's Rhythm Nation 1814.
I listened to my vinyl copy every day for an entire year. I taught myself to replicate the syncopated, computerised drum patterns. I even wrote an hilariously bad musical based on the songs (the villain was called Black Cat). Wisely, my drama teacher resisted my suggestion to stage it as that year's school production.
Rhythm Nation turns 25 today but it's an album that can still surprise me. Jackson and her co-conspirators Jam and Lewis crammed the album full of Easter Eggs - percussion that darts across the stereo field, virtuoso flourishes hidden deep under the mix and, in Love Will Never Do (Without You), my all-time favourite musical moment.
Listen to the final chorus (about 5'22" into the video below). Janet starts to ad lib, rising higher and higher through her vocal register. Suddenly, somehow, her voice is replaced by a muted trumpet, which continues the riff up into the ozone layer. The transition is seamless. To this day, I can't work out where she ends and he begins. It is simply magic.
I was an idealistic 14-year-old (is there any other sort?) when Rhythm Nation was released, and I absorbed the record's socially concious lyrics like a particularly thirsty sponge.
"Prejudice? No! Bigotry? No! Ignorance? No! Illiteracy No!" Janet cries on The Knowledge. And, although it looks naive in print, her message was resoundingly powerful on record, thanks to Jam & Lewis's thunderous, bass-heavy production.
The title track, powered by a monumental sample from Sly & The Family Stone's Thank You (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Again), actually makes the idea of a utopian nation united by dance seem like a practical and achievable solution to poverty, bigotry, racism and war. It is that good.
It's worth noting that Janet was only 22 when she wrote these songs. What's more, she was realistic about what they could achieve. "I know I can't change the world single-handedly, but for those who are on the fence, maybe I can lead them in a positive direction," she told US magazine in 1990.
"We have so little time to solve these problems,” she added in an interview with Rolling Stone. "I want people to realize the urgency. I want to grab their attention. Music is my way of doing that."
The lyrics were inspired by a constant diet of CNN, fed into the studio as Janet tried to follow up her breakthrough album, Control. Predictably, the label had demanded more of that record's defiant coming-of-age anthems. They went so far as to propose a title, Scandal, and a subject matter - dishing the dirt on the Jackson's family feuds. What's surprising is that Janet initially ran with the idea.
You Need Me, which became the b-side to Miss You Much, is an angry riposte to her dad: "Daddy he was distant. never there to hold my hand... Mother made up for him, always watching over me".
None of that material made its way onto Rhythm Nation - but Livin' In A World (They Didn't Make) contains the line: "We teach our kids rules that we don't adhere to ourselves". I wonder what serial adulterer Joseph Jackson made of that one?
In the end, though, no-one loved this album for its message. Even Janet abandons up her social studies dissertation after the first three tracks. "Get the point?" she drawls. "Good. Let's dance".
And then we're off: Miss You Much, Love Will Never Do, Alright, Escapade, Black Cat. Those songs allowed Janet to shatter her brother's seemingly unassailable chart record, scoring seven top five singles from one album. Rhythm Nation even produced number ones in three consecutive years (1989, 1990 and 1991) - a feat still unmatched in the Billboard charts.
Why? It's simple. Those singles are playful, succulent, life-affirming, genre-defining firecrackers. Escapade, which is Janet at her poppiest, is an effortless blend of good time Motown sentiment and the juddering Minneapolis funk. Not by coincidence, the video is set at a carnival.
The success of Rhythm Nation paved the way for Janet's multi-million pound deal with Virgin, which in turn produced the lush, sexy double album, Janet. That record may have sold more - especially in the UK, where Rhythm Nation is largely a footnote - but to my ears it was messy and unfocused. What's more, it marked the beginning of Janet's descent into R&B soft porn (one of her later albums contains a song called Moist, which says it all, really).
Rhythm Nation only gets steamy once, on the closing track Someday Is Tonight. A sequel to the chastity ballad Let's Wait Awhile, the song coos and teases over a sultry, candlelit bedroom groove. "No more fantasizing of how it would be," Janet sing-whispers, "Cause tonight all your dreams come true".
The last two minutes of the song are given over to a deliciously suggestive trumpet solo, courtesy of Herb Alpert, while Janet sighs and moans into your headphones. If the 14-year-old me fell in love with the dance anthems, the 15-year-old me wore a hole in my... er, vinyl listening to that track.
That's not a throwaway comment, by the way. My first copy of the album is virtually unplayable. And when I upgraded to the CD, I was stunned to find that it was very different.
Several of Rhythm Nation's songs, including the title track, had been edited to make the album fit the confines of vinyl. So suddenly, there were dozens of new hooks and musical motifs to learn. It gave the album another six months' life - presumably to the horror of my parents.
And let's not forget the album came with a superlative package of remixes, teasing the material out and revealing hidden moments. There's an infectious keyboard solo in Alright, for example, which barely registers under the clattering beats of the original, but gets promoted to centre stage in CJ Macintosh's sublime Ambient House mix.
I collected those imports and white labels religiously, and it's those versions I turn to when I grow tired of the album itself.
Sadly, most of the remixes are long out of print. A&M Records, timid about Janet's marketability after the idiotic Super Bowl furore, has been reluctant to honour the star with expanded anniversary editions of her career-defining albums.
The mixes aren't even on iTunes or Spotify but, luckily, a few kind souls have posted them on YouTube. So, in honour of Rhythm Nation's silver celebration, I've compiled a playlist of my favourites.
Impressive work, and one that's rarely given credit (in the UK, at least).
I owe my understanding of songwriting, and ultimately my career, to my teenage immersion in those songs and remixes - and I've been lucky enough to thank both Janet and Jimmy Jam personally. I know most people have a similar experience with an album, or even a single, at some point in their lives. I'd be interested to hear about yours in the comments.
Go Deep is not one of the best-loved singles from Janet Jackson's vast back catalogue - in fact, it was a zero-score answer in the final round of Pointless a fortnight ago - but it is something of a corker. A flirty, flyweight funk track that makes ample use of the Flexatone (a percussion instrument more frequently employed to make the oooooh, spooky sound effect on Playschool).
The song stalled at number 13 back in 1998, but it must have made an impression on a young Jax Jones who has reswizzled Go Deep for his debut single, also called Go Deep. The dance remake re-contextualises Janet's vocals over a dark house beat, in a much the same way that Duke Dumont reworked Whitney's My Love Is Your Love earlier this year.
Not coincidentally, Jax Jones was a featured artist on that single, too. So Jax, if you're reading, can you do Toni Braxton's He Wasn't Man Enough next? Thanks.
PS: As something of a Janet remix afficionado, I wonder if Jax Jones ever heard the Masters At Work versions of Go Deep? They took a broadly similar approach to her vocals over a nine-minute, saxophone-fuelled late-night jam. It's quite something.
It's that time again. Ten songs from the last seven days, all worth a click if you have 30 minutes to spare.
This week's bumper crop includes.
1) Beyonce - Crazy In Love (Fifty Shades version)
For a film about BDSM, the trailer for Fifty Shades of Grey is pretty tame. In fact, Beyonce's throaty,
2) Charli XCX - Boom Clap (live)
HUGE congratulations to Charli XCX, whose new single is number three in the midweek chart, meaning she's all but guaranteed at top 10 hit this Sunday - and about bloody time, too.
I managed to catch her set at Glastonbury earlier this month and it was genuinely one of my highlights - with an all-female band that were essentially a punka-pop Josie and the Pussycats. Here's the proof, via an MTV thingummy.
3) SBTRKT - New Drop, New York
"It's a funny tune in a way, but it's quite exciting," said SBTRKT as he handed Annie Mac his new single for its first ever radio play earlier this week.
Featuring a pitch-shifted Ezra Koenig rapping about gargoyles, it's not exactly your standard pop banger. But it's a superb, dark groove - like an elastic dub reworking Felix Da Housecat's Silver Screen.
4) The Pierces - Ordinary World
Allison and Catherine Pierce have suffered a few delays in the release of their fifth album, Creation. In fact, I interviewed them about it back in March, when it was due in June... but now it's been pushed back to September.
The band have been filling the spare time by learning a few cover versions. You can hear them doing Lorde's Team by pressing this blue text, but I prefer this acoustic rendering of Duran Duran's Ordinary World. Such exquisite harmonies.
5) SVE - Riot
Unsigned Brooklyn artist SVE somehow manages to turn Riot into a seven-syllable word in the chorus to this moody synthpop masterpiece. Expect a record contract to be waved in her face any second now...
6) Teleman - Skeleton Dance
Scrummy retro indie janglefest. That is all.
7) Clear Soul Forces - Solar Heat
When Radio 1's head of music posts a song on twitter and asks "Future of hip hop?" you can guarantee you'll be hearing more from the band in question.
In this case, it's Detroit quartet Clear Soul Forces, who style themselves as "the answer to everything that you ever questioned about hip hop". In other words, they're a jazzy antidote to the aggressive posturing of 21st Century rap - and an obvious throwback to the jazzy grooves of the Jungle Brothers, Stetsasonic and Tribe Called Quest.
9) Royal Blood - Figure It Out
A terrific video, despite the unnecessary red/blue filter stuff. Really looking forward to Royal Blood's debut album in three weeks' time.
10) Janet Jackson - Escapade (remix by Nick*)
It's 25 years since Janet released this song - inspired equally by Nowhere To Run and Raspberry Beret, but sounding like neither.
Still one of the best summer anthems ever committed to tape, this bleepy-bloopy remix should be played loud in the park to annoy sunbathers.
And that, as they say, is a wrap. Have a smashing weekend.
Because they're all servants of Satan, pop stars don't take Easter off. So while we were all lazing around and enjoying the bank holiday weekend, tons of new music started cropping up online. Here's a selection of the best...
1) Prince - Breakdown
Actually, this song of pentinence is quite in keeping with the Easter theme.
"I used to throw the party every New Year’s Eve / first one intoxicated, last one to leave," sings Prince, who catalogues the material things he used to crave, and how they left him feeling empty.
The first release from his freshly-inked Warner Bros deal, Breakdown is also his best ballad since Gold. Sadly, it's only available in the US.
PS: Prince just tweeted a link to a video for Breakdown, where the song is played over a scene from Analyze This, in which Robert DeNiro bursts into tears during a television commercial. Most odd.
2) Lana Del Rey - West Coast (radio mix)
Producer Dan Auerbach of The Black Keys has tweaked Lana's new single to make it stand out amidst the Aviciis and Calvin Harrisses of daytime radio. It's not vastly different, just a little crisper and forthright.
3) Jack White - Lazaretto
Warning: Contains violin solo.
4) First Aid Kit - My Silver Lining
Swedish folk duo First Aid Kit were one of the surprise hits of last summer's Glastonbury - easing everyone into Sunday morning with a set full of lilting harmonies and astutely-judged covers of Bob Dylan's One More Cup Of Coffee and America by Simon & Garfunkel.
Backed by the Omaha Symphony Orchestra, their new single My Silver Lining is a rolling station wagon, ploughing through the dusty plains of, er... Stockholm. This week's record of the week on 6 Music, it's taken from Johanna and Klara Söderberg's forthcoming album Stay Gold.
5) Kylie Minogue - Golden Boy
An off-cut from Kylie's Kiss Me Once album, released on vinyl for Record Store Day. It's good b-side material, basically.
6) Coldplay - Magic (Giorgio Moroder remix)
This wouldn't sound out of place on a Pet Shop Boys album. And I mean that as a compliment.
7) Lily Allen - Sheezus
This is all going so well until Lily starts singing about her period.
8) Janet Jackson - Untitled new project
Legendary producer Jimmy Jam popped up on Twitter this weekend to hint he'd been back in the studio with his longterm muse, Janet "Ms Jackson if you're nasty" Jackson.
I'm not sure anyone but her hardcore fans are going to be excited by this news BUT as one of those hardcore fans, I'm dying to know what they've been up to. Janet's career took a nosedive after the SuperBowl incident - but the scandal was only part of it. She'd largely cut off her relationship with Jam & Lewis, who co-wrote all of her biggest hits, and her last three albums just weren't good enough for people to forget that nipple piercing.
So, in the hope that's she's rediscovered her mojo, let's remind ourselves of Janet and Jam and Lewis's finest moment - onstage at the 1987 Grammys. Trenchcoats at the ready!
After a wasted evening poking around the darker corners YouTube, I chanced across this video of Janet Jackson performing What Have You Done For Me Lately and Nasty with the boys from The Time at the 1987 Grammys. It's pretty spectacular - an awards performance from the days before Vari-Lites and video screens and back projections that relies purely on choreography and charisma. The backflip at 2'50" is really something else.
If was the second single from Janet Jackson's phenomenally successful janet. album (the one where she wears a bra made out of hands on the cover). In fact, if Virgin had got their way, it would have been the album's lead single - but Jackson sensibly held out for the sultry That's The Way Love Goes, which repositioned her from "moral crusader backed by an army of dancers" to "confident, sexually mature woman".
Still, If is a great track - full of thundering drums, squalling guitar and a bonkers sample from The Supremes' Someday We'll Be Together. The video also contains some of Jackson's best choreography (especially the sand dance that occurs around 2'59").
The track's just been remixed by mysterious US producer Moon Boots (his official biography claims he "came to life during a classified experiment aboard the International Space Station"). Adding some twilight keyboard effects and a raspy 80s bassline, he spins the song into a luscious summer jam. Great stuff.
When you're a teenager EVERYTHING takes on a melodramatic air of BRUTAL IMPORTANCE. We're out of orange juice? OH, WHY IS THE UNIVERSE AGAINST ME? People don't see the real me, they just see this HUGE ZIT. My feelings cannot be adequately expressed IN LOWER CASE TYPE.
I was not immune to this intensity of emotion. When I broke up with my first girlfriend, I listened to Gloria Estefan's Anything For You every day for three months. We'd been together a fortnight.
But the album I really, really went batshit mental for was Janet Jackson's Rhythm Nation 1814. I wasn't so fussed about the po-faced sermonising and social commentary ("Illiteracy? No!"). No, it was all about Janet's decree "Get the point? Good, let's dance."
By God, that album is funky. Rhythm Nation introduced me to the supple grooves of Sly & The Family Stone. I became a better, more versatile drummer through trying to replicate the industrial grind of State Of The World. Miss You Much, one of the album's record-breaking seven Top Five US singles, is a monument of pop futurism. The groove is so sparse, and the drums so monumentally huge that it literally forces your limbs to dance across the living room, one beat at a time.
And that's just Side A.
I know that album inside out. Every edit, every ad lib, every alternate take. 22 years later, I still find fresh new sounds buried deep in the mix. Radiohead have never recorded something so layered, so intricate.
OK, Janet's voice is flimsy. And I agree, they went a little overboard with the sampler on Alright. Yes, Livin' In A World (They Didn't Make) is so mawkishly sentimental about children that Janet's brother would have dismissed it as "a bit much".
But the brilliance of this album can be summed up in one brief moment of production genius. At the climax of Love Will Never Do (Without You) Janet holds a series of ascending notes, reaching higher and higher until, suddenly, you realise the noise has stopped being her voice and you're listening to Herb Alpert's muted brass trumpet. I've listened to it thousands of times, and I still can't hear the moment where the two soundwaves embrace and separate. It's my favourite part of any pop song ever.
Sound Bank is a series of blog posts I'm running in August while I'm on holiday. If you want to know more about it, there's an explanation on this page. Normal pop blog service will be resumed around 25th August
When you label your tour "Up Close And Personal", you're creating certain expectations. When you're the notoriously guarded Janet Jackson, there's an added frisson. We know next to nothing about her divorces, her dalliances with lesbianism, her relationship with Michael, the fall-out of her Superbowl... erm, fallout.
Is this tour the point where she finally bares her soul?
In a word: No.
What we get is a fairly standard Janet Jackson show on a miniscule budget. The latter point isn't necessarily a criticism. In an era where Madonna, Gaga and Britney have turned pop concerts into million dollar circus shows, it's refreshing to see an artist of Janet's stature concentrate on the songs. There are no expensive video interludes, no pyrotechnics, no props to distract you from the performance. At times, Janet even sings live.
Where it starts to unravel is the decision to play each and every one of Janet's "35 number one hits*". This means one thing: Medleys.
Oh God, I hate medleys. They would expose a lack of stylistic variety in David Bowie's back-catalogue, never mind an artist so one-note as Janet. And, in aiming to please everyone, medleys manage to disappoint on every level. I'd rather not hear Controlat all than a brisk, dismissive 30 seconds that miss out the best bit.
So a seven-track megamix is not an auspicious beginning to the show. Janet fast-forwards through hits like What Have You Done for Me Lately and The Pleasure Principle as if they were an irritating "you wouldn't steal a handbag" advert at the start of a DVD.
Things settle down for Miss You Much - a stone-cold future funk classic from the Rhythm Nation era. Janet manages to stick with the song right through to the bitter end, even breaking out the original dance routine, looking every bit as powerful as she did 22 years ago.
Nasty folllows, the song's jagged punch diminished slightly by the fact the concert opened with a full-length screening of the video, which Janet had "dedicated to London" (London was visibly moved by this gesture, especially because the video had been squeezed onto a 16:9 screen, cutting off everyone's head in the process).
But just as the party gets going, we are forced to sit through an inexplicable five-minute showreel of Janet's "acting highlights". This includes, I kid you not, a scene where an 11-year-old Jackson is threatened with a red hot electric iron. It doesn't exactly create a party atmosphere.
When the interval rolls around, a mere 40 minutes into the show, I seriously consider leaving on the next bus. Janet seems disconnected, mechanical, inattentive. But a quick tally of the songs she has left to perform convince me to stick it out... And, boy, am I glad that I do.
Bounding back on to the stage like a kangaroo, Janet has apparently downed two pints of stimulating caffeine beverage. Dressed down in black jeans and a vest top, she giggles at her dancers' antics, improvises around the choreography and throws smouldering looks into the (wildly diverse) crowd.
As predicted, the best tunes have been held back for this segment. It's often overlooked in the UK, but songs like Rhythm Nation and That's The Way Love Goes defined modern R&B. Without them, there'd have been no Destiny's Child, no TLC, no Rihanna. And, judging by the endearingly terrible dancing in the aisles, age has not diminished their irresistible appeal.
By the time the encore comes around, the promise of getting "up close and personal" is finally fulfilled. During Together Again, a series of still images flash up on the video screens. Moving chronologically from black and white polaroids to expensive studio shots, each is a photo of Janet sat next to her older brother Michael. As they appear, Janet stretches out her arms and sings under her breath: "What I'd give just to hold you close... As on earth, in heaven we will be together". It's a moment so unexpectedly loaded with emotion that it knocks a few of us back into our seats.
Janet plays the Royal Albert Hall again on Saturday and Sunday. Despite my reservations about the first half, I'd recommend getting a ticket, if only to see a member of pop royalty stripped of the production values that mask other performers' inadequacies. Janet has enough charisma, athleticism and experience to pull it off... And some of the best tunes in the catalogue to boot.
SETLIST
Act One
The Pleasure Principle
Control
What Have You Done for Me Lately?
Feedback
You Want This
Alright
Miss You Much
Nasty
Nothing
Come Back to Me
Let's Wait Awhile
Again
Video Interlude
Rope Burn
Any Time, Any Place
Got 'Til It's Gone
Go Deep (Missy remix)
What's It Gonna Be? (with Busta Rhymes)
Act Two
Doesn't Really Matter
Escapade
Love Will Never Do (Without You)
When I Think of You
All for You
That's the Way Love Goes
If
Scream
Rhythm Nation
Encore
Together Again
* There is some creative accounting at work here - Feedback, for example, reached number one in the esoteric realms of the 'Billboard hot dance 100'
