Shakira in her pants

As single covers go, I'm giving this 9/10. Shakira looks great. Nice pants. But the wall could really have done with an undercoat - the old paintwork is showing through. Shoddy, shoddy, shoddy.



PS: I have just read this post on Marina and the Diamonds' blog and now I feel dirty for even glancing at the above picture with my shameful man-eyes, never mind disseminating it across the internet like a small-scale, bedroom publising Larry Flynt.

On the plus side, I was right about the DIY.

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New music: Mumford and Sons

This band definitely haven't been signed off the back of Fleet Foxes' phenomenal success. No way. Nuh-huh.

Mumford and Sons - Little Man Lion


Still, we can't complain. We'd been waiting for Fleet Foxes to pick up a banjolele and cover The Chieftans for ages.

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Madonna - not completely into Facebook

Do you get the impression that Madonna had to be cajoled into recording this trail to her new Facebook page?



In slightly more encouraging Queen Of Pop news, the track listing for the Celebration: Greatest Hits DVD has just been released, and it's something of a corker. 47 tracks, 27 of which have never been released before and (ooo-er) a new, extra-filthy version of Justify My Love.


1) Burning Up
2) Lucky Star
3) Borderline
4) Like A Virgin
5) Material Girl
6) Crazy For You
7) Into The Groove
8) Live To Tell
9) Papa Don’t Preach
10) True Blue
11) Open Your Heart
12) La Isla Bonita
13) Who’s That Girl
14) Like A Prayer
15) Express Yourself
16) Cherish
17) Vogue
18) Justify My Love
19) Erotica
20) Deeper and Deeper
21) Rain
22) I’ll Remember
23) Secret
24) Take A Bow
25) Bedtime Story
26) Human Nature
27) I Want You
28) You’ll See
29) Frozen
30) Ray Of Light
31) The Power Of Good-Bye
32) Beautiful Stranger
33) American Pie
34) Music
35) Don’t Tell Me
36) What It Feels Like For A Girl
37) Die Another Day
38) Hollywood
39) Love Profusion
40) Hung Up
41) Sorry
42) Get Together
43) Jump
44) 4 Minutes
45) Give It 2 Me
46) Miles Away
47) Celebration

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Who will buy my Friendly Fires?

I've just looked up Friendly Fires' UK chart history... but there isn't one. The general public, in its general wisdom, has completely avoided buying any of their singles to date. That's records like Paris, On Board and Jump In The Pool - which collectively piss fountains over Tinchy Stryder's stodgy, undercooked chips.

Their new single, Kiss Of Life, isn't quite as good as their previous efforts - which means it'll probably sell a bagriliion-zillion-manillion (10^2,000,002) copies.

If not, Ed Macfarlane has a healthy future teaching classes in how to dance like a beached fish.

Friendly Fires - Kiss Of Life

7/10

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Alexandra Burke's best bits

I'll be honest, when it was announced that Alexandra Imelda Cecelia Ewan Burke's album had been recorded with the likes of Akon, Flo-Rida and Pharrell Williams, my hopes were not high. There's something a bit Ali G about UK artists who come back from the States singing about how they "got game" and imploring the audience to shake "dem" booties.

Thankfully, Alexandra has taken the Estelle / Sugababes route of combining R&B edginess with good old-fashioned pop chops. Her debut single, Bad Boys, is actually very good indeed. Here are the three best bits:

1) Ooh-weh, ooh-wah


2) With the alphabet, she only sings the crooked letters


3) Woooooooooo (Bad Boys)


And that's not even the chorus!!

You can presumably hear the full thing over on Youtube (youtube). But why not try imagining what it sounds like based on the clips above before clicking on the link... You might be pleasantly surprised.

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Ian Brown goes for a walk

Ian "I used to be in the Stone Roses, apparently" Brown has been strolling around the streets of Manchester singing his new* single, Stellify. Along the way, he's picked up a brass band and some people waving flags. All he needs is an orange sash and he could go over to Ulster and have a big old scrap on the street. Awesome.

Ian Brown - Stellify


Anyway, it's pretty good isn't it? I've stomped my foot to it so hard that my left leg is a good inch shorter than the right. I now have to stand on a hill at all times.

Someone at Brown's record company was telling me last week that, despite his heritage, he hates guitar bands and mainly listens to soul and R&B. This makes absolute sense when you hear the album version of Stellify. It has an awesome drum and bass breakdown towards the end, which sounds like a Mancunian version of Jay-Z's Takeover, crossed with Sly & The Family Stone's I Want To Take You Higher. In other words: truly stunning.

* Okay, the single has been out on iTunes for about two weeks, but I forgot to mention it. At the same time, the physical release date is the bizarrely late 21st September, so I'm late and early at the same time.

PS: Stellify is a real word, and it means "to turn into a star". Awwwww.

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New video from The Saturdays

It's only two months since their last single, but The Saturdays back already. Their latest number is called - someone call the logic police - Forever Is Over and it presents the band as a more sassy, grown up quintet than the playful teenagers of "old" (or, if you prefer, June).

Let's be honest, this isn't going to topple any governments. In fact, it's all sadly reminiscent of when Mel C tried to go grunge after the Spice Girls. The middle section, with it's squealing "axe" solo, is an egregious crime against the cochlea.

And yet... I can't help singing it to myself in the lift.

I really, really hope they don't have security cameras in there.

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New video: Erik Hassle

He had ridiculous hair - we've dubbed it the ginger typhoon - but Erik Hassle's new single, Don't Bring Me Flowers, is very good indeed. Melancholy, haunting, anthemic. The sort of adjectives people always apply about Coldplay, except this track is genuinely worth listening to.



PS: Is he really singing "save your gibbons for the living" in the chorus? We hope so.

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Natalie Imbruglia - live at the Lexington

The gorgeous Natalie Imbruglia played a short set in a tiny pub last night - mostly featuring new material from her fourth album, Come To Life, which is due out in October.

We asked a primary school teacher to review the concert. This is what she sent us.

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Who on earth styled this picture?

We can imagine the photo shoot went something like this:

Okay guys. Here we are. Now, before we turn the wind machine on, we want to talk just a little about the concept, the milieu, the elan of X Factor. After last year, it's a whole new era for the show so we really wanna shake things up a bit. Okay? Yeah? Great! Let's go.

Simon, you're first. We see you as an important, dynamic music mogul with no time to spare. A guy like you would never waste precious seconds tucking his clothes into his trousers. Or ironing them. So try this on - we've pre-crumpled it. And don't worry about the dog hairs - that's all part of the tussled heterosexual bachelor pad look. If you're not sure what to do with your hands, just jam them in your pockets. It'll emphasise your cock. And you're nothing if not a massive cock. Only joking, of course.

Cheryl. Hi Cheryl. Lovely Cheryl. Now, for your wardrobe, we've taken inspiration from Beyoncé. We know the dress LOOKS like something we found in the Blakes 7 store cupboard but I'll have you know we personally hand-stitched it using greaseproof paper and glitter and shoulder pads and LOVE. What's that, darling? It makes your boobs look cartoonishly big? Like Jessica Rabbit after she's been accosted with a bicycle pump? Well, we don't have a problem with that per se - but you can always get them to fix it in Photoshop later if you like. Alright, pet?

Danni, you're going to want to sit down before we show you this... Ta-daaaa!! Isn't it amazing? It's a genuine dust sheet we used to cover the floor when we were building the set vintage toga from the Imperial Roman court of Emperor Augustus! Now, it is very delicate, so please try to make sure that as little of the material as possible touches your skin. Loose, baggy and shapeless is the new spray-on wet-look leopard print leggings.

Last, but not least, our lovely little Irish potato, Louis Walsh. And don't you look cute as a button? Maybe we should let you wear your own clothes this year.

Yes, honey, just like Bono.

In unrelated news, ITV is suffering budgetary problems due to the economic downturn.

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Little Boots covers JLS

"Anything that has the line 'If I died, would you come to my funeral?' deserves to be covered," said little Victoria Hesketh, after she finished playing JLS's Beat Again on Radio One's Live Lounge.

Her version demonstrates what a great song Beat Again actually is - once you strip away the cheesy 1990s production and replace it with cheesy 1980s cheesy synth production.

Harold Faltermeyer would be proud.

A clip follows and, if you're enticed, you can hear the whole thing on the Radio One website.



You may also want to check out these links.

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This abomination is currently No. 1 on iTunes

...Well, in the video chart, at least.

The Guild - Do You Wanna Date My Avatar?


For those of you too lazy to Google, I have done it for you.

The Guild is an online sitcom about a group of people playing a massively multiplayer online role-playing game, such as World Of Warcraft. The lead character is played by Felicia Day (a sort of female catnip for geeks) who also sings the song. Felicia Day has previously starred in Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Dr Horrible and one episode of Dollhouse - all very good populist sci-fi shows created by Joss Whedon, who directed the video and whose brother, Jed, wrote the music. The video premiered at Comic-Con earlier this month.

None of this is an excuse. NONE OF IT.

You have a lot to answer for, the internet.

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What the flip is going on here?

Here, viewers, we have the debut video from R&B personage Livvi Franc. It raises several questions:

1) Has Livvi seen Rachel Stevens' video for Sweet Dreams My LA Ex?
2) What does she mean by: "I am not a bender, return to sender"?
3) How, in the normal course of events, does this happen to your clothes?



The video provides no answers. None. It is all very peculiar.

The song, Now I'm That Bitch, is a good 'un. Despite the terrible rap and potentially homophobic lyrics, the first verse has a tantalising hint of mystery and the chorus is effortlessly catchy.

Livvi Franc - Now I'm That Bitch


I could do without the "men are all rubbish" sentiment, though. It's like no-one in in R&B has bothered to think up a new narrative device since No Scrubs. Yes, women are strong and independent. We get it. Move along.

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New Nelly Furtado: Manos al Aire

I've been waiting to write about this for weeks but "this video is not available in your country due to copyright restrictions". Yawn.

Manos Al Aire is the first single from Nelly Furtado's new Spanish-language album, Mi Plan. Albums recorded "in foreign" tend to sell poorly in the UK, so Nelly has come up with a cunning plan to encourage us to put aside our xenophobia and splash out on her new CD.

Here's the press release:



Do you see? Spanish and Portuguese have LATIN ROOTS, like what ENGLISH does. They are essentially the same, if you think about it properly. In fact, most Spanish words are just English words with an extra "os" at the end! Like your word "much" - it's "muchos" in Spanish!!! I can't think of any other examples right now, but I think it's a fairly safe bet you'll be able to understand all the lyrics on my record without even noticing you're doing it.

Also, our word for sandwich is "bocadillo", which is a vast improvement, I think you'll agree.

Nelly Furtado - Manos al Aire (with subtitles for idiots)

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Mpho's not particularly subliminal advertising

Parlophone have just uploaded something called the "official listening post" for Mpho's forthcoming single, See Me Now.

It's a forward-thinking attempt to combat the bootlegged radio recordings that regularly turn up on Youtube (youtube) in the weeks leading up to a single's release. But, coming from a record label, it has much, much higher production values than fan clips.

Parlophone, you see, have invested in a copy of Windows Movie Maker 2.1 ("so easy a child could use it") and asked a child to use it. The result is a hyperactive, rapidly intercut, maniacally strobing, multi-coloured assault on the senses.

The flashing Mpho logo will burn itself into your retina. The flickering lyrics will induce epilepsy. The pulsing graphics will give you acid flashbacks, even if you have never taken acid, known anyone who has taken acid, or heard the word acid outside of a chemistry lesson.

You can watch below. But, please, close your browser window when you start foaming at the mouth.

Mpho - See Me Now


The song is a solid 6/10, by the way.

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Gig review: U2 at Wembley Stadium

U2 really know how to reach out across a football pitch and tweak your nose. Even at the far end of Wembley Stadium last night, we felt part of Bono's big party, despite our handclaps coming a full beat after everyone else's.

As the wee Irish fella pointed out, though, U2 have had plenty of time to polish their act. "It's just occurred to me - we're older than Wembley Stadium," he noted, recalling the day he slept in Waterloo station clutching a demo tape on his way to a meeting at Island records.

Later, for no apparent reason, he started listing the names of tube stations. "St Paul's, Embankment, Tottenham Court Road, Grange Hill" (are you sure you took proper notes? Ed)

It encapsulated everything that is great and ridiculous about Mr Hewson - the ability to conjure up a tingling feeling of fellowship, only to deflate it with a piece of "poetic" whimsy that makes you snigger into your beer.

The tension between greatness and unadulterated crap carried over to the set-list. Vertigo was enormous, intoxicating, bonkers... and followed by a useless dance remix of I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight. U2 also continue to insist on playing Get On Your Boots, as if everyone had secretly conceded that it wasn't the worst song of their entire career.

The odd stinker aside, however, there were more classic moments at this show than most bands manage in an entire tour. An acoustic version of Stuck In A Moment You Can't Get Out Of was an early highpoint, and current album track Unknown Caller proved to be a rousing singalong, thanks to some karakoe lyrics on the big screen.

But the most magical moment of the night came without the need for a hymn sheet. As the audience sang a full-bodied version of I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking, the four members of U2 stopped playing, one-by-one, just to savour the noise of Wembley's biggest ever crowd.

It was a concert experience I will never forget.

Unsurprisingly, the best songs were the old ones. Pride, I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For and Mysterious Ways all hit the sweet spot, while One and With Or Without You once again earned their place in the great rock songbook. Bono seemed a bit impatient with the latter, however, rushing his words as though he was fed up of singing it. We saw a limo arrive backstage during the song, so maybe he just wanted to make sure he caught the Big Brother eviction show.

The infamous "claw" stage, by the way, is amazing. It looks like the festering foot of an otherwise invisible Godzilla, and comes complete with a 360º video screen, moving bridges and a huge cocktail stick topped with a glitter ball. It played such an integral role in making the audience part of the show that you wondered why no-one had ever thought of it before. We also wondered whether we could pay 20p to make the claw scoop up a cuddly toy Bono. The staff at Wembley just looked at us weird when we asked.

All in all, it was a great night out - improved even more by the presence of Elbow as a support band (they really work in a stadium context - it'd be great to see them graduate to that status with their next record).

U2 play at Wembley again tonight and there are still tickets available. If you've got the time and the inclination, you should definitely make the journey.

You won't be disappointed.




SETLIST
Breathe
No Line on the Horizon
Get On Your Boots
Magnificent
Beautiful Day (incl London Calling, London Bridges and Blackbird)
Elevation
I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For (incl Movin' On Up)
Stuck In A Moment You Can't Get Out Of
Unknown Caller
The Unforgettable Fire
City Of Blinding Lights
Vertigo
I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight (remix)
Sunday Bloody Sunday (incl Rock The Casbah)
Pride (In The Name Of Love)
MLK
Walk On (incl You'll Never Walk Alone)
Where The Streets Have No Name
One (incl Desmond Tutu speech)
Mysterious Ways

Encore:
Ultraviolet (Light My Way)
With Or Without You
Moment of Surrender

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What does Dizzee Rascal want?

He wants to be in a video like the ones Shaggy used to make.

And a pony.

Dizzee Rascal ft Chrome - Holiday

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What does Natalie Imbruglia want?

She wants you to listen to her new single. A-hahahahaaa-ha-ha-hahaaaaa.

Natalie Imbruglia - Want


Sorry.

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Xenomania, er... mania

Last night, I popped out to see six (yes, six) new acts who've been indentured at the Girls Aloud hit factory known as Xenomania.

These events are always a mixed blessing. On one hand, you could be seeing the future of pop. On the other, you might have to endure two hours of shit and spend the next three months avoiding awkward phone calls from everyone concerned.

Thankfully, this was a good one - like sticking your head into a bowl full of chorus juice and having a long, cool drink.

The acts ranged from Maxine, a 16 year old from the Bronx with a shocking pink quiff, to JFK, Xenomania's "house band" (pictured above) whose Merseybeat harmonies skillfully disguised their Aussie origins. Watch out for a song of theirs called Hummingbird - it's going to be massive. Perhaps as massive as The Promise, which they co-wrote, fact collectors.

Closing the night were a boy quartet called Nitevisions who, I kid you not, were the second coming of Duran Duran.

Xenomania already have already sent a few acts out in the great wide world - Vagabond, Mini Viva and Jessie Malakouti, to name just a few - but all of last night's artists were brand spanking new. The production house is essentially acting as a talent agency - scouting and developing young musicians then selling them on to record labels as a complete package (thus reducing the chance of the big labels interfering with their, ahem, "artistic vision").

Although none of the newbies have signed a deal yet, I saw various bigwigs hanging around the venue, as well as some people with normal hair, and plenty more who had mistaken the Flight Of The Conchords' hair gel episode as an educational documentary.

So, big things on the horizon? Maybe...

Brian Higgins told us he wants a "100% hit rate" for his stable of artists. They're certainly distinct enough to make an impact but the recent successes of JLS and Peter Andre don't exactly instil me with confidence in the nation's appetite for finely-tuned, cutting-edge pop.

Let's hope Xenomania can convince them otherwise.

Mini Viva - Left My Heart In Tokyo


Further Reading:
Xenomania Records
Xenomania fansite

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Haven't we heard this somewhere before?

Aussie pop twins The Veronicas have created a unique time-travelling PR campaign for the UK release of their album, Hook Me Up.

The record - including recent top 10 single Untouchable - is two years old. But the next single, 4Ever, dates back to 2005. In fact, it's been lifted from an entirely different album, which doesn't say much for the record company's faith in the new material...

Despite its vintage, 4Ever hits you like a laser blast, full of juicy harmonies and wayward rock riffage. If you don't believe me, believe Little Boots:



Try it out for yourself with this newly-filmed British video.

The Veronicas - 4Ever

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Pretty damn impressive

"What you are about to see is a mix of unrelated Youtube clips edited together"

Kutiman - Mother of All Funk Chords


Amazing.

[Plenty more of this madness of Kutiman's website]

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Nneka - the new Lauryn Hill

That's according to The Times, at least, who called her 2006 release Victim Of Truth the year's most criminally overlooked album.

The Nigerian hip-hop singer is hoping to overcome the critics' cold shoulders with her second CD, No Longer At Ease, which is trailled by the insanely funky single Heartbeat. It scores a commendable 95% on our booty jiggleometer.

Nneka - Heartbeat

Nneka - Heartbeat
by FourMusic

Radio One have playlisted the following club remix of the song - apparently because their audience now consists solely of the sort of person who swears by wet look gel and thinks foam parties are "sexy".

It doens't completely rip the heart out of the song, but it certainly dials the subtelty meter all the way down to zero.

Nneka - Heartbeat (Chase & Status remix)

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New video: Florence + The Machines

After weeks of listening to it on headphones and car stereos, I finally played the new Florence + The Machine CD through a decent pair of hi-fi speakers this week. Suddenly, a 6/10 album became 8/10.

The cacophony of Howl and Rabbit Heart separated out like a light through a prism, and the rumbling underscore of the drums became as crisp and dry as a cracker. In short, the whole experience made me very pretentious indeed.

The stand-out track on the album has always been, for me, The Drumming Song, and that will indeed be the next single. Nice to see that the director, Dawn Shadforth (also responsible for Kylie's iconic Can't Get You Out Of My Head) resisted the temptation to fill the screen full of percussion and instead focused on the song's devotional lyrics.

Good work all round.

Florence + The Machine - Drumming Song


Dawn Shadforth discussed the video with Dazed and Confused. Read it here.

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Pixie Lott follows up a number one with...

Another potential number one? It's certainly one of the most unashamedly commercial songs I've heard this year. Her personality comes through much better in this video, too.

Pixie Lott - Boys & Girls


I got into a lot of trouble last week when I jokingly suggested on twitter that Pixie's latest was in fact a new single from Billie Piper. But watch this video and tell me you can't see the similarities.

Billie Piper - Girlfriend

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Crikey, Mikey, it's some new bands

Hello there. We have sourced some "new" bands on the internet for you. It might be great, or it might rubbish. It's hard to tell at this early stage, so don't get your hopes up. But have a listen and tell us what you think. All comments appreciated.

1) IT HURTS
Spooky synth duo with a "mysterious" MySpace page full of scans from vintage Italian magazines. But - oh no, Pitchfork readers!! - they're on a "major label".

It Hurts - Wonderful Life


2) PHOENIX
Phoenix are a French band who sprang to life as a backing band for Air. They've been around for ages, playing to the cool kids in empty clubs around Europe. But they're new to us and they might be new to you, too.

The band's fourth album, Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix, is a top 20 SMASH in Germany. But don't let that put you off.

Phoenix - Lisztomania


3) BIG PINK
Imagine that MGMT had been transgenically mutated with mid-90s trappist monk enthusiasts Enigma, and you have imagined Big Pink. They are from London, they can't spell Dominos, and one of them is friends with Lily Allen.

Again, don't let that put you off.

Big Pink - Dominos


4) MARINA & THE DIAMONDAS
Alright, we've mentioned Marina before, but now we've seen her in concert and fallen properly in love. Mainly because she dances like Kate Bush. But also because of her top-rank melodies and perfect teeth.

Marina and the Diamonds - Obsessions


Tomorrow: Normal service will be resumed with a silly pop video by Pixie Lott.

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The return of Natalie Imbruglia

The following is not her new single... it's a "buzz track", whatever that means.

Things to note:
1) Natalie's "I ♥ NI" tattoo. Who knew she loved the people of Ulster so much?

2) A dance routine! In a Natalie Imbruglia video!

3) Despite the promise that her new material boasts a "slightly electronic Kate Bush" sound, this song isexactly like every other Natalie Imbruglia song you have ever heard.

4) Which is a good thing, obviously.

Natalie Imbruglia - Wild About It


The "proper" first single Want is out September 28th, followed by the album Come to Life on the 5th of October. It features (Oh dear God, no) three collaborations with Coldplay.

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New video from A Camp

Swedish-American band A Camp can barely raise an eyebrow in the UK, never mind sell a record - but their seond album, Colonia, is undeniably one of this year's best.

The CD has wangled a release in the US recently - which is why there is suddenly a video for the record's second single, Love Has Left The Room, three months after it came out in the UK.

Funnily enough, this very song popped up on shuffle as I was driving home from holiday and I'd resolved to write something about it when the opportunity arose. The sublime lyrics, by ex-Cardigan, Nina Perrson, liken the end of a relationship to a hangover, when your entire body aches in the most horrible, physical way and yet the nausea is precious - a badge of honour, even - for what it reminds you of.

Here is the opening verse:

Love has left the room
The party is over
But I can't get sober
Obsession is towing me
Deep down, down

Love has left the room
It fled out the back door
When all that I asked for
Was evermore, or a real bye bye
You never said bye-bye

The video is a suitably moody, and captures the band's retro Americana sound with the use of some beautiful, bleached-out Super 8 photography. If you don't get the song first time round, have a few listens. I promise x 1,000,001 that you will love it.

A Camp - Love Has Left The Room

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Back once again with the renegade master*

Usually, when I disappear off on a sabattical**, nothing happens. Over the last week, however, there have been up to three (three!) big events on planet pop.

Here are they:

1. SHAKIRA BREAKS HER SPINE

During the filming of her new video, She-Wolf:





It's all incredibly sexy, in a "there is no way I would let this woman into my house" sort of way. I would embed the clip here but the UK exclusive has been given to MSN, who operate the world's most ugly video streaming site. Here is the link, Click on it if you dare.

2. MADONNA RELEASES MEDIOCRE SONG
Celebration is the title track of Madonna's latest Greatest Hits album, and is almost certain to be her last number one for Warner Bros (unless Tinchy Stryder has something out the same week). Produced by Paul Oakenfold, it's what old people would call a 'banging club tune' and the kids would call 'a bit dated'.

It brilliantly recalls the summery vibes of Everybody and Holiday - and there's a clever nod to Into The Groove in the lyrics - but the tune is a bit of an afterthought. In fact, when Jo Whiley played it on Radio One last week, a lot of texts came in saying it would sound better withough the vocals.

For those naysayers, here is the dub mix (which, it has to be said, is a vast improvement).

Madonna - Celebration (Paul Oakenfold Dub)
(

US readers can buy the track now on iTunes. Everyone else has to put up with a preview on Madonna.com until later this month.

3. SUGABABES DO A QUITE GOOD VIDEO

Like Monty Don, the Sugababes new single is a grower (yes, even though it is basically a club mix of Right Said Fred's I'm Too Sexy). When you watch the video, you will come to the realisation that, following a brief internal struggle, the group now belongs to Amelle Berrocca, or whatever her name is.

In the panoply of British girl band videos, it is a solid 7/10. But, because the song is so obviously a top-dollar US R&B production, you can't get away from the niggling suspicion that Rihanna would have done it better.

At the very least, she would have spent another fiver on the choreographer.

Sugababes - Get Sexy


* "random blogger"
** attempt to drown myself in alcohol

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