Easter round-up: Kylie, Prince, Lana and more

Because they're all servants of Satan, pop stars don't take Easter off. So while we were all lazing around and enjoying the bank holiday weekend, tons of new music started cropping up online. Here's a selection of the best...

1) Prince - Breakdown
Actually, this song of pentinence is quite in keeping with the Easter theme.

"I used to throw the party every New Year’s Eve / first one intoxicated, last one to leave," sings Prince, who catalogues the material things he used to crave, and how they left him feeling empty.

The first release from his freshly-inked Warner Bros deal, Breakdown is also his best ballad since Gold. Sadly, it's only available in the US.


PS: Prince just tweeted a link to a video for Breakdown, where the song is played over a scene from Analyze This, in which Robert DeNiro bursts into tears during a television commercial. Most odd.




2) Lana Del Rey - West Coast (radio mix)
Producer Dan Auerbach of The Black Keys has tweaked Lana's new single to make it stand out amidst the Aviciis and Calvin Harrisses of daytime radio. It's not vastly different, just a little crisper and forthright.





3) Jack White - Lazaretto
Warning: Contains violin solo.




4) First Aid Kit - My Silver Lining
Swedish folk duo First Aid Kit were one of the surprise hits of last summer's Glastonbury - easing everyone into Sunday morning with a set full of lilting harmonies and astutely-judged covers of Bob Dylan's One More Cup Of Coffee and America by Simon & Garfunkel.

Backed by the Omaha Symphony Orchestra, their new single My Silver Lining is a rolling station wagon, ploughing through the dusty plains of, er... Stockholm. This week's record of the week on 6 Music, it's taken from Johanna and Klara Söderberg's forthcoming album Stay Gold.




5) Kylie Minogue - Golden Boy
An off-cut from Kylie's Kiss Me Once album, released on vinyl for Record Store Day. It's good b-side material, basically.




6) Coldplay - Magic (Giorgio Moroder remix)
This wouldn't sound out of place on a Pet Shop Boys album. And I mean that as a compliment.




7) Lily Allen - Sheezus
This is all going so well until Lily starts singing about her period.




8) Janet Jackson - Untitled new project
Legendary producer Jimmy Jam popped up on Twitter this weekend to hint he'd been back in the studio with his longterm muse, Janet "Ms Jackson if you're nasty" Jackson.

In anticipation of some exciting @JanetJackson news let's refresh our memories of her greatness. http://t.co/r68jnNl4gf

— Jimmy Jam (@flytetymejam) April 17, 2014

I'm not sure anyone but her hardcore fans are going to be excited by this news BUT as one of those hardcore fans, I'm dying to know what they've been up to. Janet's career took a nosedive after the SuperBowl incident - but the scandal was only part of it. She'd largely cut off her relationship with Jam & Lewis, who co-wrote all of her biggest hits, and her last three albums just weren't good enough for people to forget that nipple piercing.

So, in the hope that's she's rediscovered her mojo, let's remind ourselves of Janet and Jam and Lewis's finest moment - onstage at the 1987 Grammys. Trenchcoats at the ready!

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Lily Allen's big night out

Vexatious pop singer Lily Allen has turned in (another) new video, and this time it's set in the back of a taxi. The song it services is Our Time, a ditty about a night out on the tiles, which somehow manages to rhyme "Rizlas" with "business".

Like Air Balloon and Hard Out Here before it, the single is barely there - a flimsy nursery rhyme of a tune. What redeems it is the way Lily contrasts the wistful, minor-key arrangement with her "having it large" lyrics. It's a surprisingly effective trick.

But what really prompted me to write about the song is the video. Not only does it feature Lily dressed as a hotdog and doing a very convincing hiccup, it also appears to be based on the infamous paparazzi shots of Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears on a night out.

No-one ever explains why this is happening, of course. Is Lily mocking the hollow existence of "fallen" pop stars, or is she sympathising with them? Is the video saying, we all have nights like this, whether rich or poor. Or is she just having a go with the dressing up box?

I'm flummoxed - but hopefully the video will help you make up your own mind.

Lily Allen - Our Time

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Charlotte Gainsbourg covers Hendrix and nine other songs you may have missed

A semi-regular round-up of music I haven't quite got round to writing about yet. Sometimes for very good reason, but not this week...

1) Charlotte Gainsbourg - Hey Joe
Charlotte Gainsbourg stars in Lars Von Trier's new, definitely-not-porn film Nymphomaniac. Her character is called Joe, and that prompted her to record a cover of Jimi Hendrix's finest moment. Produced by Beck, it's breathy, ominous and delicious.




2) MØ - Don't Wanna Dance
Danish singer MØ was cruelly omitted from the BBC's Sound Of list, but somehow I don't think it matters.

Don't Wanna Dance - a sort of alt-pop riposte to Whitney Houston's I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me) - was Zane Lowe's Hottest Record In The World last night, and MØ's forthcoming album No Mythologies To Follow looks set to be one of the year's strongest debuts.






3) Lily Allen - Air Balloon
"She's back, with her words" wrote the Guardian when this song "dropped" on Monday.

Honestly, I don't understand why the press insists on Lily Allen being a 21st Century Dorothy Parker. Her lyrics are consistently puerile. Case in point, her anti-Bush protest song 'Fuck You Very Much', which displays all the intellectual sophistication of a drunken Big Brother contestant.

Still, she makes exceedingly catchy pop songs and this is one of them.




4) Raleigh Ritchie - Stronger Than Ever
Raleigh Ritchie is probably best known as Grey Worm in TV nerdgasm Game Of Thrones. But the Bristolian has been making music since he was 14 and, in the tradition of Massive Attack and Portishead, he combines widescreen hip-hop with mournful soul melodies. If you ignore all the ACTING in this video, Stronger Than Ever is gorgeous.





5) Johnny Cash - She Used To Love Me A Lot
The 1980s weren't kind to Johnny Cash - he stooped so low as to record a novelty song about having his brain transplanted into a chicken - but this previously unreleased track is just gorgeous.

Johnny's son, John Carter Cash, told the BBC this week there's more where this came from. "There are some great recordings - but we don't want to release something unless it means something." Good lad.




6) Bombay Two Bicycle Club - Luna
Why do Bombay Bicycle Club and Two Door Cinema Club always release music at the same time? I have enough trouble telling them apart as it is...

Whichever one is responsible Luna, they've done a good job - starting off with a lilting tabla loop before settling comfortably into 80s indie, with gorgeous harmonies from Rae Morris.




7) Le Youth - Dance With Me
Following last year's C O O L, which sampled Cassie's minor R&B hit Me and U, Wes James's new single lifts its vocals from TLC's No Scrubs. The man's got taste.




8) Sam Smith - Money On My Mind
Unlike MØ, Sam Smith did make it onto the Sound of 2014 list. In fact, he won the blasted thing and this is his victory single.

Compared to last autumn's stunning, soulful Nirvana EP, it's a little screechy for my taste - but you can't deny he's got a stunning set of pipes. And a pretty good singing voice, too.




9)Charli XCX - Allergic To Love
The best song about sneezing since The Pop Singer's Fear Of The Pollen Count, Allergic To Love is a snappy burst of punk, recorded and released in the space of 24 hours.

Charli XCX is basically amazing, isn't she?






10) Pixie Lott - Nasty
Oh dear.

PHEW! That's all for this week... Have a splendiferous weekend.

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Lily Allen's Hard Out There: Love it or hate it, it's still important

I honestly can't decide what to say about Lily Allen's comeback single. I heartily approve of the message ("the music business is a bit sexist, innit?") but sweet baby Jesus, the tune is dreadful.

Lily's always had a jaunty, sing-song voice, but Hard Out There is no more than an auto-tuned nursery rhyme. The middle eight is, I presume, a wicked parody of pop songs that run out of ideas at the half-way point – but the rest of the song needs to be better for the joke to work.

And while I applaud Lily for tackling sexism, she's not exactly feminism's most insightful orator. Sample lyrics include "If you're not a size six, then you're not good looking" and "Don't need to shake my arse for you, cos I've got a brain". Laudable sentiments, but hardly original or thought-provoking. Furthermore, both No Doubt and TLC have said the same things better (although, depressingly, they were saying those things 20 years ago and nothing seems to have changed).

More recently, Grimes and Chvrches' Lauren Mayberry have written excoriating, soul-searching blogs about the sexism they’ve experienced in the music industry. Shorn of Lily's habitual sarcasm, they hit home much, much harder. Lauren's piece in the Guardian, in particular, is heart-rending: "I am embarrassed to admit that I have had more than one prolonged toilet cry," she wrote about the violently abusive Facebook comments she's received.

But Lauren also said this: "My hopes are that if anything good comes out of this, it will start a conversation, or continue the conversation which is already happening". And that's why Lily's song is important: Not only is she adding to the debate, but she'll get played on daytime Radio One, she'll get into Grazia, and her lyrics will reach more people. The Mirror, of all newspapers, rushed to praise the Hard Out There's "explosive message" in their morning edition today.

Interestingly, the video makes the song 10 times better. Lily punctures a series of typical music video set-ups (most notably Robin Thicke's Blurred Lines), while her manager tries to persuade her to show more skin, lose some weight and fellate a banana.

"How can someone let themselves get like this?" he asks of Lily's weight, as she lies on a surgeon's table, undergoing liposuction.

"Um... I had two babies," she replies.

I started this post declaring I couldn't decide what to say, yet I've said rather a lot. I'm still not sure I like the song, but it's great to have Lily back, and in fury-spitting form.

Thanks for helping me think it through.

Lily Allen - Hard Out There

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A hare, a bear and Lily Allen

Hankies at the ready, here's the John Lewis Christmas advert, soundtracked by Lily "retired? me?" Allen.

Hand-animated by some of the artists who worked on Disney's The Lion King, it's a tale of the Bear Who Had Never Seen Christmas. The music is a piano cover of Keane's Somewhere Only We Know - which is 100% as dreary as it sounds.

John Lewis Christmas Ad - Lily Allen

There's a great write-up on the advert in today's Telegraph, which features Lily saying such inspiring things as "it's a sensible way of stepping back into the marketplace".

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Crikey, Mikey, it's some new bands

Hello there. We have sourced some "new" bands on the internet for you. It might be great, or it might rubbish. It's hard to tell at this early stage, so don't get your hopes up. But have a listen and tell us what you think. All comments appreciated.

1) IT HURTS
Spooky synth duo with a "mysterious" MySpace page full of scans from vintage Italian magazines. But - oh no, Pitchfork readers!! - they're on a "major label".

It Hurts - Wonderful Life


2) PHOENIX
Phoenix are a French band who sprang to life as a backing band for Air. They've been around for ages, playing to the cool kids in empty clubs around Europe. But they're new to us and they might be new to you, too.

The band's fourth album, Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix, is a top 20 SMASH in Germany. But don't let that put you off.

Phoenix - Lisztomania


3) BIG PINK
Imagine that MGMT had been transgenically mutated with mid-90s trappist monk enthusiasts Enigma, and you have imagined Big Pink. They are from London, they can't spell Dominos, and one of them is friends with Lily Allen.

Again, don't let that put you off.

Big Pink - Dominos


4) MARINA & THE DIAMONDAS
Alright, we've mentioned Marina before, but now we've seen her in concert and fallen properly in love. Mainly because she dances like Kate Bush. But also because of her top-rank melodies and perfect teeth.

Marina and the Diamonds - Obsessions


Tomorrow: Normal service will be resumed with a silly pop video by Pixie Lott.

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Lily Allen in varying degrees of quality

Here's the new Lily Allen single: Video inspired by the iPhone, song inspired by The Carpenters' Close To You.

Lily Allen - F*ck You


It's a shame that such a clever video has been wasted on a song which is little more than a nursery rhyme - both musically and lyrically.

Much better is this mash-up of Lily's last single, Not Fair, with the theme tune to top-notch 1980s kids show The Littlest Hobo. Not only does it improve the song tenfold, but raises the prospect of Lily being stuck in an unsatisfactory relationship with a dog. Ewww.

The Lilyest Hobo

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Lily Allen line dances

Here's the video for Not Fair, the second single off Lily Allen's latest album, It's Not You, It's Me. It features a slightly ho-hum 'satire' of those 1970s Perry Como country music TV variety shows. You can tell they've not really made any effort, because Lily doesn't have a voluminous Dolly Parton perm and looks a bit bored.

5/10

Lily Allen - Not Fair

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Goodies from the internet cookie jar

Today, we bring you links to external websites to create the impression we're working when, in fact, we're reading external websites. Duplication is keeping this blog alive, folks...

:: Katy Perry is all tucked up in a cosy duvet.

:: Following the much-emailed literal interpretation of A-ha's Take On Me video, and the not-nearly-as-funny version of Tears For Fears' Head Over Heels, comedy gold is mined once again in the series' third instalment.



:: Credit card warning. Don't do what this guy did.

:: Isla Fisher looks truly scrumptious in this photoshoot for Allure magazine.

:: Lily Allen is streaming her new album on MySpace. I can't be bothered to listen to it - can someone else pass it through their auditory system and let me know if it's worth buying? Thanks.

:: We all suspected Christian Bale had a bit of a temper, but here's confirmation - an extraordinary two minute, expletive-filled rant on the set of Terminator: Salvation. Disgraceful. Update: Here's the inevitable dance remix.

:: Following SingStar Abba's success, we're promised Singstar Queen later this year. I don't care what Sony says, however, I'm not buying a PS3 until we get Singstar Girls Aloud. And the price drops by £100. And pigs fly.

:: President Obama reads Bush's handover letter live from the Oval Office



:: A trainspotter-esque, but nonetheless fascinating, Wikipedia page on unusual types of gramophone records.

:: Whatever happened to TV's Blossom? "I was too 'ethnic' or 'quirky'," she tells The Onion.

:: Here's what Guitar Hero would have looked like in 1982 [via b3ta]

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Lily Allen's brilliant opinions

We really like Lily Allen's music. It's funny, sad, catchy, clever and generally amazing. But we wish she'd stop promoting it.

Why? Because she always sounds like a tedious, spoilt gobshite. Here are just a few of the headlines Ms Allen has generated since Monday.

:: Lily Allen ended up buying Caribbean beach while drunk
:: Lily Allen wants a rich husband
:: Lily Allen lets slip she's playing Glastonbury
:: "I make no money from my records," says Lily
:: Lily Allen heading to Afghanistan because her pop star life is "vacuous" (????)
:: Lily Allen 'had a lesbian threesome'
:: Lily Allen sent topless photo to Ricky Wilson
:: I have lesbian dreams: Lily Allen
:: Lily Allen claims gay blogger Perez Hilton is a misogynist

How can someone who seems so intelligent and talented come across so unlikeable?

Sadly, she seems to be one of those people who proudly declares she "tells it like it is" and "says things to people's faces". It's the sort of argument that Big Brother contestants use to defend the fact they're being subhuman berks. And it doesn't even work in Lily's case, because none of her opinions - whether on Cheryl Cole (she's a "stupid bitch") or how to solve knife crime ("have a sports day") - reveal an uncomfortable truth or break an outmoded taboo.

Instead, everything she says further reinforces the percption that she's a tedious, spoilt cretin.

So, what do you reckon. Should Lily give up speaking to the press?

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Lily Allen covers Womanizer

This is just brilliant - a piano-led, timpani-banging reworking of Britney's most recent number one. Despite the lack of trumpets, it sounds like a Mark Ronson production (even though he swore off cover versions?)

Actually, given that Mark introduces it - and that it premiered on his radio show - I'd say it's definitely a Mark Ronson production. Either way: 10/10.

Lily Allen - Womanizer


:: MP3 available on the Stereogum website

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Lily Allen's single "in full"

Hark at this: Lily Allen has just released a tarted up version of a song previously known as I Don't Know [we originally wrote about it in April] and declared it'll be the first single off of her second album, It's Not Me, It's You.

The track, now called The Fear, is exceptionally good - vintage Lily, in fact. But what's really interesting is how her record label, Parlophone, put an audio version on Youtube (youtube) at the same time as the single received its radio premiere, essentially cutting off the pirates at source (there are only two other versions of the song on Youtube, and they're of noticeably poorer quality).

Even better, the record company has ensured that they get some official artwork, information about release dates, and links to album pre-orders embedded alongside the clip on blogs everywhere. It's almost as if they've worked out how the internet can be used to promote music, just short of the tenth anniversary of Napster.

Awww, bless.

Lily Allen - The Fear


In case you missed it, here's an exhaustive first review of Lily's new album, courtesy of Popjustice.

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Here's Lily Allen's comeback single

It's called Everyone's At It and - oh joy - it's an anti-drug "anthem". Let's see what Lily has to say about this horrific scourge that is destroying our country (^TM The Daily Mail)

Why can't we all, all just be honest?
Admit to ourselves that everyone's on it?
From grown politicians to young adolescents
Prescribing themselves anti-depressants
How can we start to tackle the problem
If you don't put your hand up and admit that you're on them?
The kids are in danger, they're all getting harassed
Cos from what I can see, Everyone's At It


But wait - hypocrisy alert!!! Didn't Lily once say she'd celebrate her first number one by taking cocaine? And didn't she also admit to dealing drugs in Ibiza as a teenager?

Luckily, she's remembered all that, too. Before we get all preachy and judgey and high-moral-groundy, she explains: "I'm not trying to say that I'm smelling of roses, but when will we tire of putting shit up our noses?".

The correct answer here is: "Who gives a flying fuck, Lily? Now, stop whining and write us a decent song."

Not that I'd deny anyone the right to change their opinions as they grow older - and kudos to Lily for not going on a massive Amy Winehouse-style bender in the wake of her success. But the lyrics - which, let's be honest, are exactly the sort of self-obsessed rubbish you write when you are strung out on drugs - do pose another, more serious problem for the starlet.

When we fell in love with Lily, it was because of her her cheeky, round-the-way girl demeanour. Now she's just another celeb, writing about her agonisingly vacuous hangers-on, who fill the empty void in their souls with a noseful of "Ghandi's baking powder" or a quick injection of "Class A gravy granules".

But they're not going to be the ones buying the records, are they?

[You can listen to this little gem on Lily Allen's Myspace page]

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New Lily Allen songs

Remember Lily Allen? No, not the 'personality' from your telly or your tabloid newspaper - but that pouty London girl who made fantastic music with snarky lyrics?

Well, she's back! Lily has just put up two new tunes on her MySpace and they are (shock news alert) "quite good".

That's despite the fact one of them deals lyrically with the awful burden it is to be famous. Normally, I hate this moany self-pitying nonsense. From Madonna to Eminem, pop stars need slapped around the chops with a cold baked bean sandwich if they think we care about the pressures of fame - but Lily was never one to play the victim, and her song, I Don't Know, is satisfyingly acerbic. Here are a few tasters:

"I'll take my clothes off and it will be shameless,
'Cos everyone knows that's how you get famous"

"I am a weapon of massive consumption.
It's not my fault, it's how I'm programmed to function"

"I look at The Sun, I look in The Mirror
I'm on the right track, yeah, I'm on to a winner"

The other song, I Could Say, is a more conventional piano ballad which takes its cues from Lily's BFF, Kate Nash. Except, of course, it isn't bowel-emptyingly bad.

On her blog, the star notes the songs are "just at a demo stage so don't be too hard on them". She also promises new material as soon as it's recorded, and a new mixtape "soon".

It is nice to have you back, lady.

[here is Lily Allen's Myspace page]
[via Popjustice]

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Lily Allen covers ELO

If Lily Allen really does plan to retire to raise chickens and pigs like she told the Sunday Times' Weekend magazine, it is generally agreed that it would be a "bad thing". This is because, by that stage, we expect her to be on I'm A Celebrity eating a crow's adrenal gland from a jug of rhino snot.

Luckily, Lily still has two and a bit years to go before she debases herself on live TV. In the meantime, she has popped into a recording studio to knock off a cover of ELO's Mr Blue Sky.

It is very squiggly - much like a wriggly worm playing a Roland TB-303 in a glass of tequila - and Lily thoughtfully adds a boogie-woogie piano solo. There isn't a song in the world that wouldn't be improved by a boogie-woogie piano solo

Note to Jools Holland: That was sarcasm.

A Chilean fan website has an MP3 of this track, which is being used in the following French TV commercial:

Lily Allen - SFR moile advert


Ha ha. Isn't foreign telly rubbish?

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Lily Allen is an astronaut

Last month, I mentioned Chicago rapsmith Common, whose fantastic new album features a duet with Lily Allen, Drivin' Me Wild.

Well, the track is now coming out as a single (I'm not saying I'm responsible, but Common is regular reader of my Girls Aloud updates*). The video sees Lily dressed as "crazy astronaut lady" Lisa Nowak, who is referenced in the lyrics. Unlike Nowak, sadly, Lily isn't wearing a nappy, wig and trench coat, while driving through the night to kidnap her boyfriend's lover.

Good stuff, nonetheless.

*Possibly not true

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It's been a while, so what has been happening in the world of pop?

:: Rihanna went to number one with her Umberamella. You can stand under it, apparently.

:: Avril Lavigne did not get her waps out for Blender magazine, but they made it look like she did. Avril is not offended, because they paid her in whisky and cupcakes. So that's alright, then.

:: Cheryl Tweedy called Lily Allen a "chick with a dick" after heavy provocation from Gordon Ramsay on his not-as-good-as-it-used-to-be TV show the F-Word. How does she know? Did Ashley Cole [rest of joke deleted on advice of lawyers]?

:: George Michael told Parky that smoking spliffs is, like, totally awesome dude. "Nobody ever came home stoned and beat up their wife," he argues. And they say dope dulls the mind...

:: Beth Ditto got her top off at a concert and people went a bit bananas. It is best not to search for pictures on the internet unless you have a very happy relationship with jam roly poly.

:: Bjork's Volta album was not the return to form we'd all be promised. Instead, it sounded like two cats fighting over a washing machine.

:: Lily Allen wrote a love letter to Cheyl Tweedy on the myspace. "I may not be as pretty as you but at least I write and SING my own songs without the aid of autotune . I must say taking your clothes off , doing sexy dancing and marrying a rich footballer must be very gratifying , your mother must be so proud , stupid bitch ." Ouch!

:: A probably not very legal collection of rare Madonna and Nelly Furtado tracks went online at Only VIP Media. Get them while you can.

:: Michael Jackson is trying to put a stop to an auction of his personal effects which, claim the owners, include paintings of young naked boys. What’s this? Michael Jackson - the cuddly, friendly Peter Pan of Pop - likes pictures of young men all in the buff and nudey? I don't believe a word of this villainous claptrap.

:: Paris Hilton really is going to jail. In the words of Kermit the Frog: "Yayyyyy!"

:: Cheryl Tweedy 'remembered' (was told by a journalist) that Lily Allen has recently called her bandmates ugly and vile and husband Ashley Cole horrendous. "I can't stand people who give it but aren't prepared to get it back," she told The Sun. “I left school a long time ago and have no time for this." "Are you writing this down?" she probably did not add.

:: Germaine Greer read an article I wrote on the BBC website, likening Serbia's Eurovision-winning performance to a slow-motion lesbian porn film. "Shame on him," she wrote in The Guardian. I hold my hands up, Germaine. I've never seen a lesbian porn film. Have you?

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Foo Fwi Ziba Seeba Smwee-ee-ee

No, I haven't gone mad - those are some of the lyrics to Lily Allen's new song...

You may remember that a couple of weeks back I posted MP3s of Norwegian popster Annie singing in Simlish. Simlish is the made-up nonsense language from The Sims 2, a computer game so addictive it has been made a class B narcotic in Finland.

Well, hot on the heels of that revelation, Lily Allen has done a Simlish version of Smile. EA, a video games company with almost limitless resources, have made a video for the song using in-game footage. In a bizarre twist, it is better than the actual video for the actual song. I like the bit where she sets her boyfriend on fire.

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Nice video, shame about the song

Lily Allen: Alfie


Scissor Sisters: She's My Man

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Reading material and pop trivia

Pitchfork runs through the worst album covers of 2006. Including this one:

Shakira is finally coming to play a concert in the UK, after winning every Latin music award available - plus three more she invented in her mind. Tickets go on sale at this address tomorrow at 9am.

The world's tallest man has saved a dolphin by ramming his arm down its throat and retrieving a bit of plastic it had swallowed. It's really true. Scout's honour.

Download an MP3 of Beyonce's Irreplaceable in Spanish and convince your housemates the stereo has gone on the blink. Altogether now: "Ya lo ves, ya lo ves".

Popjustice is giving away Lily Allen's Chopper.

Girls Aloud run through their political views in The Spectator. They're anti-war, pro-grammar school and support high taxation, apparently. Cheryl's going to get some flak for saying she only votes for Labour because "me mam does", but isn't that how most people choose their political affiliation? Except Hitler, of course.

Get some free mash-ups courtesy of Hop's MP3 Thingamajig. Regardless of their quality, the titles are ace: 99 Voodoo Children and Control, Bloody Control are my two favourites.

After all the reports of gamers breaking their TV screens, lampshades and faces with their Nintendo Wii controller, this guy has found a way to make the wrist strap more secure. Handcuffs.

PS: I'm hoping to get round to writing a proper review of the Wii tomorrow. But I doubt you'll be surprised to hear me say this: It is fabberoo.

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