Hey bitches!

Can it be that time already? Tyra Banks is donning her ridiculous shaggy dog hair-weave and preparing for the next series of America's Next Top Model. As luck would have it, you can already see the 13-strong starting line-up on A Socialite's Life.

Now in its seventh season, ANTM purports to show how tough it is to enter the world of professional modelling. What the show really portrays is how hard it is to live and work with a group of very attractive self-obsessed gobshites.

Every series throws up the same 'harsh realities' of modelling life. The most important of these is being judged. The girls are judged on their looks, their photographs, their dress sense and how they walk. That's right, models have it hard because people expect them to be able to perform the most basic of human motor functions after swallowing - although one contestant usually has problems with that, too.

Other regular features of the show:

One model cries cries when a stylist cuts her hair.

One model isn't afraid to "tell it like it is", by which she means she is very, very rude to peope for no apparent reason.

One girl is led to believe she has a chance of becoming a 'plus-size' model, only to be thrown out of the competition after three weeks when everyone suddenly realises she is exceedingly fat.

It is utterly compelling television, but it won't be shown over her til next year. Boooo!

Tweet