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Prince plans to give away his new album for free on the cover of the Mail On Sunday (an odd choice, but what the heck). This has thrown the record shops into a frenzy of hatred. "It would be an insult to all those record stores who have supported Prince throughout his career," said the co-chairman of the Entertainment Retailer's Association.

I'm slightly baffled that Prince should feel any obligation to these people, whose principle role in his career has been to fleece £5 off the price of his albums to line their own pockets. Am I missing something?

Here are some photos of Lindsay Lohan not looking pissed or stoned. Bryan Adams clearly has great timing.

Listen to Tom Baker having a strop and doing a swear while he records the voice-over for an ad:

Janet Jackson is recording her new album with the Neptunes. Is it too much to ask that it isn't a steaming pile of dog-shit like the last one? Probably, yes.

Favourite headline of the week? Stab victim 'continued masturbating'

TMZ got hold of Paris Hilton's prison canteen request form. If I am ever sent to jail - and there are many, many reasons why I should be - I want to go to one where a servant goes to the canteen to get you emery boards. Wonder what the vaseline was for?

On a related note, here is Hilton's non-disclosure agreement.

Charlie Booker on losing his Glastonbury virginity: "At 3am a group of post-pubescent upper-middle-class music-industry gitsacks pitched their tent beside mine, and no power on Earth could make them stop braying witless bullshit at the top of their idiot lungs. One of them had a bassoon."

Hooray! Amy Winehouse is releasing my second-favourite song from her Back To Black album... Here's the video:

Amy Winehouse - Tears Dry On Their Own


Right, I'm buggering off to France for a week. See you when I get back!

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