Discopop Directory Enquiries

Tomorrow, Discopop Towers will be uprooted lock, stock and barrel from its top secret location in West London and re-located in its new home in an equally top secret nuclear bunker on the banks of the Thames.



Everything is going into boxes now. We'll see you back here on August 1st.

Tweet

Huzzah!

The spammers are taking notice of our campaign for silly names.

Today we received an email from one Guadalupe Saunders! Even better, it had the subject line "Swim by condiment maladroit"

Keep up the good work, you crazy sons-of-bitches!

Tweet

Wasted opportunity

This sounds like a great idea: Statler and Waldorf review the week's movie releases from the heady heights of their Muppety balcony.

Except... those aren't their real voices, are they? And the script seems to have been written by a toenail, such is the flourish and wit therein.

Unfortunately, now that Disney have purchased the muppet franchise, this is bound to be the first of many nails in Kermit's coffin.

Statler & Waldorf review current movies

BBC: Disney buys Kermit and friends

Tweet

We can't do pictures this week

But here's some of the stories we've been reading anyway...

The Mercury Prize nominations are out. Has it really come to this?.

First of all, the Magic Numbers are a poor man's Mamas and the Papas. By which we mean that, yes, they have the requisite weight problems, but they're sadly lacking the pretty lady member or the ability to sing.

Secondly, the MIA album really isn't as good as everyone pretends it is.

Thirdly, KT Tunstall.

Hopefully the Kaiser Chiefs will win, but why no pop albums this year? Girls Aloud and Joss Stone have been making some distinctly above-average music this year. Much of it is better than the tosh produced by the indie-boys on the list and, hey, they managed to sell some of their records too. It is a crime for which the serious music press will never forgive them.

These days, reporters have to bring it to our attention when newly-married films stars have "not been married before".

According to The Insider Justin Timberlake is producing songs for Macy Gray's new album… What is it with this man propping up the careers of down-on-their-luck r&b stars? Has he entered a pact with the devil of mid-90s hip-hop? Somebody, anybody, fill us in.

Tweet

Twisted Mind

Roald Dahl wrote his children's books in a "tiny cottage" at the end of his garden. It had "walls lined with Styrofoam" and "a jar containing gristly bits of his own spine". No wonder the six-foot-tall author came up with such twisted stories.

THE CANDY MAN: Why children love Roald Dahl’s stories… and many adults don’t.

Tweet

Feline fantasy

From today's Independent:

"[Christopher] Walken thinks it would be great if actors had tails. 'A tail is so expressive. On a cat you can tell if they're annoyed. You can tell whether they're scared. They bush their tail. If I was an actor and I had to play scared in a movie all I'd have to do is bush my tail. I think that if actors had tails it would change everything.'"

Read the full interview

Also, for those of you who complained that you couldn't see the pictures of Mariah Carey's clothes falling, try here instead (Not safe for work. Or your sanity, we should imagine.)

Tweet

"Jesus Head" and friends

Here at Discopop towers, we get hundreds of spam emails a day.

They are generally very entertaining - who knew how many different ways there are to spell a simple word like Viagra? However, its getting to the point where we simply can't keep up.

Today we have a message for the spammers: We appreciate your attention, but we require a bit more effort on your part.

From now on, we won't read your emails unless you use a stupid made-up name. Allow us to illustrate, using actual examples from the past week:



Thank you for your kind attention in this matter.

Tweet

Haircuts, Wardrobe malfunctions, Divorces and a Moustache

That handsome young specimen on the left is Will Young, with a freshly shaven head. The hat is gone, long live the number two crop!

Will's standing with the winner of a national photography competition, sponsored by Mencap (he's an ambassador for the charity). More photos and info over at Mencap,org.uk

Mariah Carey has done a Janet on German TV. Thankfully, no photos are in existence.

Update: 14/7/05. The internet does what it does best - distributes pictures of fleshy ladybits. We will not be held responsible if your eyes burn when you click on this link

Snoop Dogg is bucking all celebrity trends by vowing to cancel his divorce and give marriage a second go.

No, it's not a telephone exchange, it's synth-god Giorgio Moroder working on the equipment that produced Donna Summer's 16 minute dirt-fest "Love To Love You Baby".

Much Music has a bizarre tribute / shrine to his music running this week. Worth a look, if only to see more pictures like this one.

Tweet

Going out in style

WBNS: Hunter Thompson's ashes to be blasted from cannon

Tweet

Everything for less...

Price comparison websites are useless. The prices they quote are usually out-of-date, and you rarely have any way to guage how reliable the vendors will be.

There are no such problems at pricenoia.com. It compares prices at six of Amazon's international stores on your choice of books, CDs, DVDs, etc. You'd be surprised at how much you can save, even when you pay £5 shipping from the USA, for example.

A quick surf shows that 50 Cent's new album will cost you £10 if you order it from the USA, a saving of £5 on the Amazon UK price. Although we can't understand why anyone would want to own a copy of this rancid dustbin of an album.

The only snag is that the site can't amalgamate different versions of the same product; so a Region 1 DVD gets a separate listing to it's Region 2 cousin. But overall you're saved a lot of clicking, and a fair amount of cash.

Pricenoia.com

Tweet

World's smallest MP3 player

FauxAmi: Ipod Flea trailer

Tweet

Where is all the goddamn sex?

Pop singers today dress like two-penny whores and sing about blow jobs but, complains Baarb Jungr on Spiked online.com, their voices are devoid of any real sex appeal.

She has many explanations for this: the prevalence of sampling, the rise of Aids, and the impressive but anodyne vocal gymnastics popularised by Pop Idol.

We disagree. There are singers with incredibly affecting voices out there in pop-world but they're rarely given material with any emotional depth. When the songs are right, we do have modern singers to rival Aretha Franklin, Frank Sinatra and Bob Dylan. We're thinking Mary J Blige, Jill Scott and Thom Yorke.

But, overall, Jungr has a point. Let's phone up Prince - the purple perv - and start a campaign to put the pop back into popping the cherry.

Spiked Online: Why are pop singers so samey and sexless?

Tweet

Britter's belly

It's a fake, obviously (the shot is way too classy to be real). But a "rumour" was doing the rounds yesterday that Britney's bare breasts and baby-bump were about to grace the cover of Vanity Fair, á la Demi Moore.

Spears' publicist now says it won't be happening - although the singer will be posing (fully clothed) for Elle Magazine just before she gives birth in October.


So, a storm in a tabloid teacup. But it's nice to stay in the headlines, isn't it?

Via Jossip: More Britney Spears

Tweet

Today's news: MP3s, tampons, torture and profits

"What are MP3 blogs, and why are record companies starting to use them as a marketing tool?" asks The New York Times.

Tom Jones gets underwear thrown at him. Aaron Carter gets tampons. Is that a comment on the relative merits of each act, or has someone mistaken Aaron for Prince Charles?

At long last, someone has combined our two least-favourite things in the world to create an entirely new form of pain and misery: A musical based on the songs of UB40. Apparently, the US Army has block-booked the front row for the show's entire run and will fill the seats with Guantanamo Bay's toughest terrorist suspects.

Following on from yesterday's entry, Pink Floyd have pledged to donate the profits they make as a result of their Live 8 performance to charity. Nice one.

Tweet

They drink it in the congo

The python picked the passion fruit,

The marmoset the mandarin,

The parrot painted packets,

That the whole caboodle landed in.



So when it somes to sun and fun,

And goodness in the jungle -

They all prefer the sunny funny one,

They call Um Bongo!



That is all.

Um Bongo: The advert

Tweet

Live 8 - send us your money (via HMV)

Everyone is going to bitch about this, so let's get it out of the way...

All of the Live 8 acts have seen their album sales go mental. Sales of Pink Floyd's greatest hits album have risen by 1,343%.

That's 1,343%

Predictably, several people have already called this filthy money made on the back of the poorest people on the planet. We disagree.

First of all, this sales jump is hardly a surprise. Secondly, it really doesn't detract from the point of the day.

Was awareness raised? Yes.

Will the G8 leaders be publicly ridiculed if they don't make progress on Africa? Yes.

Was the concert superb? Yes (suprisingly so, if you ask us).

Furthermore, the artists who have seen their albums fly off the shelves gave up at leasy two days of their time. They could all have realisitically been making money doing gigs elsewhere. That's what Oasis did, after all.

And ths icing on the cake is that the Great British Public have finally realised what a hopeless nutcase Pete Doherty is. Sales of the Libertines album fell 35%!

Trade Justice is served.

Launch: Live 8 sales boost

Live 8

Buy Sgt Pepper (and the Long & Winding Road, if you're a glutton for punishment)

Tweet

Brosnan's boob

In the rain-enforced downtime at Wimbledon, the BBC have dragged Pierce Brosnan into the studio for a squirm-worthy stilted interview with Sue barker.

Apart from the fact his fake tan is slowly melting under the studio lights, he's just dropped the most massive clanger about his time as James Bond.

"I had a marvellous time," he says, "and each film was better than the next."

How true.

Tweet

All you need is Jaws

What's amazing about the Beatles is that they can still outdo every other band in the universe 35 years after they last made a record (Free as a Bird doesn't count).

Look around you now, and there are 'classic' acts putting aside their differences and touring again. Pink Floyd will be at Live8, Abba reformed for a friend's wedding, Duran Duran got back together for... well, we're not really sure what Duran Duran got back together for.

But the Beatles, bless them, only seriously considered reforming once - and it wasn't for money, it wasn't for 'the fans' (money again), it wasn't even for 'the music' (translation: the money).

No, according to Ringo Starr the occasion was a one-off TV show. And why did the Beatles consider it?

"Because,", says Starr, "we were on after the guy who fights the shark."

That, right there, is sheer class.

Contactmusic: The Beatles Considered reforming for shark show

Tweet

A warning that spans the decades

Happy 60th Birthday, Debbie Harry! Our dads used to fancy you in the 70s, but the years haven't been kind.

Michael Jackson plans to "repair his image with a documentary". Doesn't he ever learn? (And wouldn't a plastic surgeon be more appropriate?).

Paula Abdul's erratic behaviour on American Idol wasn't due to drugs or alcohol. The poor dear has suffered a year of ill-health after a dodgy manicure. Like we haven't heard that excuse before.

Cabin Crew, who were responsible for the ubiquitous retooling of "Waiting For A Star To Fall" want to hear your opinion of their new material over on the popjustice messageboards.

And good news from Richard X - new Annie tracks, a Gwen Stefani remix and the next Rachel Stevens single are all on the cards. Yippee!

Tweet