Tittle Tattle

It's all got a bit self-absorbed around here over the last couple of days, hasn't it? Blah, blah, Top of the Pops, blah, blah, I wrote some music, blah, blah, voice-over work, blah.

In atonement for all that narcisissm, here is a round-up of some of the gossipy webwrongs and salacious stories from the past week.

Scarlett Johannson had a lap-dance
...For her 21st birthday. With her entire family watching. Now that's just weird.

Kim Basinger (may have) left her first husband for Jodie Foster
In which we learn that, in the days before the internet, people exhanged gossip by fax. How quaint 1996 seems already.

Shiloh Nouvel Pitt has become a waxwork
In which we learn that waxworks aren't made of wax any more. Is nothing sacred?

Silent Bob has been taking about Jay's battle with heroin
In which Kevin Smith reveals that the moment you realise your friend has a drug problem is the moment they tell you they've shagged z-list celebrity stick Nicole Ritchie. Parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9.

Lindsay Lohan is bit like a cat.
It's true. My mum says.

David Hasselhoff can't fly
He was thrown off a British Airways flight to LA after appearing intoxicated, the Sun says. (I checked this one with BA -- they say a man was refused entry to a flight on Tuesday, but was allowed to get on the next one after being reassessed with staff. They wouldn't confirm it was the Hoff, though).

A bloke who used to stand next to Justin Timberlake has come out
As, you know, a gay.

Prince is getting divorced again
I can't think of a decent pun. Help!

Janet Jackson has a new video
In which we learn that (a) a woman can have too many tatoos, and (b) spending loads of money on the video won't improve a mediocre song.

Tweet