Songs you may have missed: Haiku edition

A round-up of songs that escaped the full glare of the Discopop Directory spotlight - but are still worthy of note.

For some reason, I decided to write Haikus about each of this week's entries. The results are poor, to say the least.

1) Royal Blood - Happy
When Pharrell hears this
He might well reconsider
His entire career




2) Selena Gomez - The Heart Wants What It Wants
The spoken intro's
Excruciating candour
Will make your skin crawl





3) Take That - These Days
Truncated trio
Should have called up Nile Rodgers
For this turgid song





4) LoneLady - Groove It Out
The next six minutes
Should be irresistible
In toe-tapping terms





5) Lorde - Yellow Flicker Beat (from The Hunger Games)
Armageddon still
Has the best theme song, but this
Is acceptable





6) Ekkah - Last Chance To Dance
Strap on your hotpants
And sashay to the dancefloor
Before it's too late




7) The Pierces - Devil Is A Lonely Night
Belinda Carlisle
It's almost like you never
Went away at all





8) Kendrick Lamar - I
Kendrick did a great
Freestyle over Shake It Off
But this isn't it




9) Ella Henderson - Yours
Ella, oh Ella
Wrote an ode to her fella
The song is stella(r)




10) McBusted - Air Guitar
Danny, Dougie, Tom
Harry, James and Matt. Looking
Quite old now, frankly





11) Jose Gonzalez - Every Age
Existential angst
Is one way to describe this
Although hard to spell




12) Ludacris - Good Lovin' (ft Miguel)
Butter smooth slow jam
Too good to spoil with bad jokes
Like all the above

Well, that was unedifying. At least the songs were good, eh?

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Ludacris - he's definitely not gay, alright?

Two years ago, a highly dubious "hollywood blogger" claimed to have outed several of hip-hop's biggest stars. Jonathan Jaxson, whose blog has since been deleted, was so scurrilous that even Perez Hilton sued him for libel, slander, invasion of privacy, harassment and intentional infliction of emotional distress. Nonetheless, hip-hop is not the most enlightened of communities when it comes to gay rights, so several artists have found their names sullied by the (never-proven) gossip.

Step forward Ludacris, who has taken extreme measures to ensure we aware of his love for the female of the species. Especially all the hot ones, okay?

Ludacris - Nasty Girl


Okay, it's a complete car crash of a song, but I think we're left in no doubt: Girls and fucking - Ludacris is a fan of them both.

He's also a fan of Jay-Z's Girls, Girls, Girls, which he's completely ripped off.

But the real reason I posted this travesty is for the comments on its Youtube (youtube) page. They are, to say the least, perfect examples of their genre:

I want to see one of these rappers just pull their penis out...Im being honest, I dont want to see girls all the damn time!!!

As if guys that look like that could get chicks that hot anywhere except outside a music video, get the fuck outta here...

If they keep putting hoochies in here, and we go against it; then they would stop. It's the sick minded people that encourage this that makes it sell. If people would just grow up and stop being perverted, then maybe we wouldn't see half naked hoochies every time we turned on the TV.

God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah because of their sexual perversion

i am a christian and i do have jesus as my personal savior... but this song is still cool:)

haha... "bread" and "bed" rhyme!

This is probably the most intelligent discussion I have ever read on the internet.

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