Here's what you missed

So, apart from the website falling apart because all the videos have become unavailable, what has happened during the last two weeks of discopop inactivity?

:: Madonna has adopted / kidnapped an African baby and made a new pop video.

:: While attending some Scottish golf tournament, our favourite comedy actor Bill Murray was approached by a blonde Scandinavian who invited him back to her house. He obliged, only to discover that she was a student, there was a party going on at her flat, and he was expected to do the dishes.

:: Sheryl Crow stripped down to her grundies in front of a paying audience. My eyes! My eyes!

:: The electricity bill wasn't paid, so the Sugababes had to make their new video in the dark. Good song, though - particularly the line "I want sex on the beach and I don't mean on the rocks". Because that could do your back in.

:: The internet is 'ablaze' with rumours that Virgin records mishandled the promotion of Janet Jackson's new album. One executive was allegedly overheard saying "I don't need her to sell big numbers, I just need her to debut at number one" (it entered the Billboard charts at #2). Further rumours suggest the diva is leaving Virgin after this album.

:: Futuresexy lovegod Justin Timberlake got slapped in the face with some meat and also made a new pop video

:: About the only celebrity story we noticed in the US - because it was on permanent replay - was Mel Gibson's confessional interview with Diane Sawyer. What transpired is that he is truly sorry, that he can murder a toaster and that the Jews aren't, strictly speaking, responsible for all the wars, but they sure do seem to get involved in a lot of them. Oh dear.

:: Mr T has a new reality show in the States, which we unfortunately missed. But you can have hours of fun with the milk-drinking, fool-pitying, blinged-out, gun-toting psychopath by playing with the online Mr T Dressing Up Playset. It is truly a thing of wonder and beauty.

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